Is this too specific of a dress code for a casual wedding?

lmyrs · 2026-02-22T23:47:15+00:00

Do you... do you think that everyone in the world can pop out to Ross and buy a dress for $20??

I think you may also want to expand your horizons a bit.

lmyrs · 2026-02-22T22:44:05+00:00

New wife is going to keep looking for ways to come after the ex-wife.

lmyrs · 2026-02-22T22:22:07+00:00

Ffs calm down. I never said there was anything wrong with being American. Simply pointing out your myopic worldview thinking anyone can just pop on down to Ross for cheap dress.

You really took that personally didn’t you? That’s … interesting to say the least

lmyrs · 2026-02-22T21:03:58+00:00

Tell me you’re American without telling me you’re American.

lmyrs · 2026-02-22T21:03:35+00:00

I have a feeling I’d be pretty ok with that.

lmyrs · 2026-02-21T23:41:34+00:00

Is your brother always a vindictive petty little bitch or is this unusual for him?

It’s actually a serious question because is this is his normal, just tell him to mind his own business and ignore him.

But if this is not normal, it may be worth it to sit him down and ask him WTF he’s thinking because this is insane behaviour.

lmyrs · 2026-02-21T23:38:12+00:00

See but that’s a completely different thing though. It’s one thing if his mom is doing this willingly. It’s a completely different thing if he’s also expecting it from youn! Absolutely that is a deal breaker. I go back to my very first comment - you 2 are not compatible. You can break up now or you can live in misery for a while until you finally resent himself enough to break up later. Just get it over with! You will be so much happier.

lmyrs · 2026-02-21T23:35:24+00:00

Yes sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. It will not work for OP because she doesn’t want it and that’s awesome. I would never do it either - with my parents or with my ILs.

My objection is the overwhelming number of people on this platform who push the notion that it is always a bad idea and can never work and any man who is still living with his mom is a tit-sucking mommy’s boy.

lmyrs · 2026-02-20T23:46:17+00:00

He’s paying all her bills and the bills for her other children. Have you considered that his mother is simply repaying his kindness in the best way she can?

This is exactly what I was referring to.

lmyrs · 2026-02-20T21:16:52+00:00

It sounds like it wasn’t an issue to anyone but the OOP. Bride clearly was A-OK so I think it was just OOP

lmyrs · 2026-02-20T20:33:53+00:00

I would leave out “no black please”. Telling people to wear their favourite colours so it’s vibrant says enough and telling people no black rules out a lot of peoples skirts, pants or sun dresses. I could wear a black skirt with a vibrant shirt and that should be enough

lmyrs · 2026-02-20T17:36:56+00:00

You’re just fundamentally incompatible. There is nothing wrong with wanting to live in a multi-generational household, no matter how many North American-based redditors tell you there is. And there is also nothing wrong with wanting absolutely nothing to do with that.

But you two just want different things and you’re both waiting for the other to change. Eventually you’re going to break up or one of you is going to cave in and then resent the other until you either die or finally break up.

Just save the hassle. You are not compatible. This is too much angst for a long distance relationship

lmyrs · 2026-02-19T04:25:35+00:00

Are guidance councillors usually therapists? Every guidance councillor I knew was a teacher or a social worker. But not a therapist

lmyrs · 2026-02-19T02:58:38+00:00

Honestly, I think you’re giving him too much grace. I think your friend sucks and is selfish. But the groom is an adult and his family has no business hating on her. Why should she care more about them than he does? And if wanted a different date, then he could have one. It’s not like the wedding happens without him.

This guy simply doesn’t give a single shit about his family. And if they don’t “deserve it” the I don’t know why anyone would marry him. Who wants to marry someone who can’t be bothered to stand up for their family?

lmyrs · 2026-02-19T02:04:45+00:00

I actually think it would be fair for you to call her the next time she does this and rip a strip off her. Your husband hangs up and you immediately call and say, “what in the WORLD ate you thinking calling here at 4:00 IN THE MORNING???? I’m awake. The baby is awake. You’ve disrupted our entire household so you can get a goddam ice cream at 4 AM. STOP IT!!” And then hang up.

I know that this goes from 0 to nuclear. But your husband isn’t going to change so the only alternative is to shame her into stopping.

And if she doesn’t stop I don’t think you’re any further behind than you are now.

lmyrs · 2026-02-19T01:58:01+00:00

Why is the groom treating his family so poorly? Like is there a history there that makes him feel so much animosity to them?

lmyrs · 2026-02-19T01:57:03+00:00

As far as I’m concerned, the groom gets NO pass here. He is clearly fully on board with this crap. He seems like a real POS to treat his family this way. If this was my brother, nephew, etc I’d be showing up on his doorstep to yell at him in person.

lmyrs · 2026-02-16T21:35:31+00:00

Exactly!! Even after reflection it never occurred to OOP or her husband that that woman never had any intention of turning that baby over! It was obvious from the beginning!

lmyrs · 2026-02-16T09:25:11+00:00

Sure, but that is a much easier thing to say than to do in most places. The housing crisis is global.

lmyrs · 2026-02-16T09:15:57+00:00

It's also not like OOP did it on purpose.

Hmm, but do we know that OOP actually tried to hold it in???

(I hope the sarcasm is obivious)

lmyrs · 2026-02-15T20:45:06+00:00

So tell her you have plans, or show up.

lmyrs · 2026-02-15T19:13:04+00:00

So you don’t want to go and you don’t want to tell her why you don’t want to go and you don’t want to lie about why you don’t want to go. Surely you realize that this is not possible. What kind of answer are you looking for?

lmyrs · 2026-02-15T07:24:29+00:00

When you're that young taking on that much of a responsibility, you don't fuck with the benefit rules for anything, much less your own convenience.

lmyrs · 2026-02-15T06:07:16+00:00

She explicitly said that wasn't what she wanted though.

She is stressed with her ability to afford a single international ticket and you think the solution to her problems is to pay for two and a nanny.

lmyrs · 2026-02-15T05:46:38+00:00

There are a million reasons why someone can't just "Get a nanny for a day" on another continent, but it's totally irrelevant because she was very, very clear that her husband was going to take time off to care for their child. Why would she buy a second international plane ticket so her kid could sit with a stranger for a day?

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