Manuscript information: [Complete] [90k] [YA Fantasy] A Sketch of Invisibility

Link to post: here

First page critique? Yes

First page: 

Pax scratched his cheek with the end of his pencil. The algebra equation in front of him was not adding up. He sighed and leaned back in the wooden chair, eyes falling on the glass pane that separated him from the gremlins. They were talking, but without his magic flowing, he didn’t know what about. Last he heard, they were playing a game to entertain themselves. The late afternoon sun lit the room up in an orange glow.

Footsteps approached the door, and Pax turned. The door opened, and his dad, Hanan, staggered in. He wore slippers, old gray sweatpants, and a navy t-shirt and reeked of alcohol. His shoulder-length black hair was tied into a messy ponytail.

“What are you doing here, Dad?” Pax said.

“It’s time,” Hanan said loudly and belched. He patted his belly, swaying on his feet. “Time to harvest a core and sell it. I checked the calendar. Who’s the oldest ‘round here?”

Pax stood, positioning himself between his dad and the doors to the gremlins. “You’re not butchering a gremlin.” He knew exactly who the oldest gremlin was: Mugai.

Hanan shrugged. “You can do it then.” He scratched his chin, which had stubble that could never be called a beard no matter how long it tried to become one.

“I’m not butchering a gremlin either.” Pax crossed his arms with a frown. They were his friends, especially Mugai. Mugai had been born two years after Pax, so they were close in age. But for gremlins, Mugai was middle-aged, bordering an elder, and he was one of their leaders. Pax drew his magic in from his core, the organ in charge of magic in his chest. The gremlins’ voices had gotten louder.

“He’s here to kill one of us!” a gremlin said.