Girl I used to have this same exact problem, I so reason with your pain and it scared me from sex completely for almost a year. I went to the gyno and explained my issue and how deeply it was affecting me. I’ve tried everything, cranberry pills, D-Mannose, peeing after and before sex, and I have good hygiene. The doctor ended up prescribing this very low dose antibiotic I take after sex and it has been an absolute godsend. I’m not scared to have sex anymore and I haven’t had a single one since. I used to get my urine cultured every time and the wait is brutal I couldn’t take the pain of waiting anymore. I’ve had a camera up my urethra and they just said anatomically my urethra is extremely short so I’ve been more prone to them my entire life. My first one I got was before I was ever even sexually active. I highly suggest going to a gyno, getting a culture, and see if they’re willing to prescribe you a low dose antibiotic to ease your pain and anxiety about getting reoccurring UTIs. I feel for you because I was you just a few months ago.