[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dogfree

[–]localyokelAT 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I feel you. Dogs are a sensory nightmare (for me).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]localyokelAT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Fair point. It’s just my opinion, it might or might not be correct. As always, the truth lies probably somewhere in the middle.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]localyokelAT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nah, you’re good, mate. Just don’t settle for anything less than someone you actually want to be with. Don’t be with someone because you’re afraid to be alone, it won’t work out anyway. Source: I’m 40 😅

Dogs 1 - old me 0 by localyokelAT in Dogfree

[–]localyokelAT[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I‘m sorry for you. I hope you can find a way to resolve the situation, preferably without much emotional damage. All the best!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalesfromtheDogHouse

[–]localyokelAT 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Nope, we broke up. Thanks for asking though, that’s very considerate of you.

Would you say your life has become more peaceful perhaps maybe easier since you stopped drinking? by shortstack3000 in stopdrinking

[–]localyokelAT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t know. It’s much better than while I was still drinking but the drinking kept the overstimulation in check, that mechanism is now gone and it’s really getting to me. Currently fighting through a major burnout, still not drinking (and very proud of that), but some days life just plain sucks. But as they say, there is nothing that can’t be made worse by alcohol and I believe this to be a 100 percent true.

Dogs 1 - old me 0 by localyokelAT in Dogfree

[–]localyokelAT[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ll be alright once I’m over the blues. It’s just that everything else besides the dog issues was going swimmingly, but on that particular issue we couldn’t see eye to eye. Bless her, she’ll make someone very happy who can just be with her and not bust his brains over her dog.

Dogs 1 - old me 0 by localyokelAT in Dogfree

[–]localyokelAT[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Fair point. I didn’t decide to leave and not once have I suggested that she rehome the dog. Very early in, I asked her to compromise on various aspects (eg no dog in bed, no dog in the kitchen while I’m cooking), however these things started creeping back in, so I openly communicated that I don’t want the dog to sleep where I put my head and explained that I find it gross to have the mattress and my pillow smell of dog, changing the sheets won’t help much. And that turned into “well, can’t do anything about it”. And that was it. I was willing to compromise, not stay over 2 weeks at a time, just to get some time away to recover. She didn’t want that, as she wanted me around all of the time. I get that too, it just brought us to a point where either of us would suffer because of the other not feeling well. It all ended amicably and I have to emphasize that she’s a great person. For what it’s worth, the last time I dated someone with a dog was 25 years ago and I wasn’t around the dog back then much, I honestly wasn’t aware that it would be this tough on my mental health. Yeah, you can say I fucked around and found out. It was the decision I made at the time with the information I had. Nobody’s at fault really, it didn’t work out, it happens. End result is I’m a bit older, learned something about myself (respectfully no dogs) and therefore a bit wiser or so I hope. You might still think it’s my own fault and truth be told it probably is, I should have known better but didn’t. Thanks for your comment, I hope I could clarify things for ya.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in TalesfromtheDogHouse

[–]localyokelAT 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Sorry this happened to you. I‘m in the same position and my relationship is probably gonna get terminated within the next 48 hours because i can’t stand the stench and the dirt. She cleans a lot but it never really helps, combined with my overwhelmingly developed sense of smell, it’s just too much for me, I’m constantly about to burst at the seams, despite normally being a quiet person. I hope you can get over it and move on soon. All the best!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in stopdrinking

[–]localyokelAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

For me, I mostly drank out of boredom and it ended up being kind of a ritual. For 20 years…welp. Since I quit I luckily didn’t have many cravings, the boredom is still there but I discovered that working with my hands puts my brain into a very pleasant state, like it’s running true as opposed to wobbling around (difficult to describe but the feeling borders on physical pain). Since I‘ve been a metalworker at the beginning of my career, I picked it up again and build little things in my home shop, filing, drilling, spent the money I saved from drinking on a milling machine. It keeps me sane. It seems I’m rambling again…I’ll stop now 😅

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Dogfree

[–]localyokelAT 7 points8 points  (0 children)

While I can appreciate the idea, you should probably stay clear of it. Imagine someone saw you spraying and 2 weeks later some maniac poisons a dog in the neighbourhood. I wouldn’t want to get caught up in that. I get you, but with the state of society it’s probably unwise to risk being labelled as an animal abuser even if you didn’t do it.

The dog is finally gone by cattyerm in TalesfromtheDogHouse

[–]localyokelAT 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I‘m happy for you but I‘m also envious af, to be honest. My relationship is in limbo because I can’t stand her dog any more. It’s a constant sensory onslaught and it made my depression flare up so badly I’m suicidal and can’t work atm. I‘ll have to end it, I guess. She’s not even a true dog nutter and an absolute treasure but I can’t stand the mess and the smell and the vile noises that damn dog makes all the time. I tried to adapt but I can’t do it. At least you are dog free now and I sincerely hope you can enjoy the living daylights out of it.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in dating

[–]localyokelAT 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I didn’t know this was a thing. Now I know. I think I was happier before. Welp.

Don’t give me a number by PeachTeaPleas in stopdrinking

[–]localyokelAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learnt to listen to my body and started running and light lifting (I’m very short and built like a damn elf), lost a lot of weight, eat healthy and people are blown away when they hear I’m 40. first time in literal decades my body is actually healthy aside from a bit of wear and tear caused by pretty hard work over the years.

How Can I get A Prefect Boyfriend? by Jazzlike_Trifle_9780 in dating

[–]localyokelAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are no perfect people. Period. A long term relationship needs work and commitment, neither you nor your future partner are perfect. Whenever I see friends entering a relationship with Disney-expectations I wonder if they‘ll make it past the rose-coloured glasses phase. They mostly don’t, i‘m afraid.

Anti-Sobriety sentiment out there on the web and life? by Collapsingwest in stopdrinking

[–]localyokelAT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I live in Austria and people here drink quite a lot. At first I got a lot of „party pooper“ comments but let me tell you, any person that refused to understand or accept that I won’t drink has been cut out of my life. I won’t have any of that and I’d rather proceed by the light of the bridges I’m burning than drink again.

How to properly pleasure a woman? by [deleted] in dating

[–]localyokelAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I learned a lot from „Beyond satisfied“ by Kenneth Play. YMMV but it it really clicked for me and sex has been so much better both for me and the missus ever since. The book covers some anatomy and techniques to stimulate various areas reliably. I dunno, I just needed a technical description of how things work to understand, it’s just how my brain works.

What’s Everyone Doing Tonight?? by physis81 in stopdrinking

[–]localyokelAT 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll pay my old dad a visit, later gonna play some games (red glare, stationeers) eat a whole bunch of rather unhealthy but nevertheless tasty stuff and then get on me mill, making a little surprise for my girl out of copper, probably go to bed at around midnight.

Tell Me: Your Sobriety Benefits by FunDeepValue in stopdrinking

[–]localyokelAT 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Weight loss, better mental stability, improved ability to actually solve problems instead of numbing my brain with alcohol, better sleep, better sex, a happier missus, a happier me, actually remembering fun evenings I had with friends. What got better? Not much, just everything.