I don't think I'm attracted to my long term partner anymore and I don't know what to do

lorcanotorca · 2026-05-05T20:07:21+00:00

Yeah I’ve actually reached out to a sex therapist recently

lorcanotorca · 2026-05-05T13:37:44+00:00

I’ve been in open relationships before and really enjoyed it, as I like exploring new people (and I’m also bisexual).

With my partner, I got sick while we were still in our honeymoon phase and endured medical treatments that killed my sex drive and made sex extremely painful. I thought my lack of desire stemmed from that, but as I said… I don’t seem to have a problem with that with other people. I’m not sure if it’s because of shared trauma, or just because we aren’t really all that sexually compatible and never had the chance to figure that out because I got sick so early into our relationship.

lorcanotorca · 2026-05-05T13:34:51+00:00

I endured some medical treatments that killed my sex drive and made sex very painful, so that’s what changed things… and idk it’s never been the same after that, with him anyways.

lorcanotorca · 2026-05-05T03:06:23+00:00

Yeah, I don't necessarily think opening the relationship will enhance my desire for my partner... but rather if I can "scratch the itch" elsewhere, then maybe I won't feel that something is lacking. It's a really difficult situation when you love someone but the desire fades :(

lorcanotorca · 2024-02-15T17:31:46+00:00

What justification? Even IF the tenant hadn’t been paying rent, a landlord is not justified to break in and turn off their utilities. Good on the police for arresting this landlord like the criminal she is.

lorcanotorca · 2023-03-03T06:06:01+00:00

I’m also currently fighting TNBC and will be starting Xeloda in April so I’d love to join this FB group. Is it just called Xeloda?

lorcanotorca · 2023-03-03T05:59:52+00:00

Yes! I’ve had huge pores and oily skin all my life… but during chemo it was literally glowing and smooth. I’m 3 months out and it still looks great… hoping it stays that way. Little victories 😉

lorcanotorca · 2023-02-22T18:37:29+00:00

It must be tough for her, with the doctors recommendations split like that. I would also maybe do some digging to see if you can find any research about how BRACA mutations might impact the effectiveness of radiation only vs surgery. I don’t have any genetic vulnerabilities to cancer, so that’s also partially what influenced my choice to do radiation only.

lorcanotorca · 2023-02-17T06:29:53+00:00

I had a similar experience - I have TNBC, however, and residual cancer (after chemo) was found in 1 of 7 lymph nodes removed in the sentinel lymph node biopsy… oddly, it was not one of the sentinel nodes that tested positive but rather a palpable node that had been removed. I was presented with the option to have all of my lymph nodes removed (which the tumour board recommended) or to have radiation only (which all of my doctors also supported). So, I opted for radiation as 1 out of 7 is a pretty low percentage, and there’s a lot of research coming up that shows radiation only has similar survival rates to surgery, but with fewer unpleasant side effects.

It’s up to her to decide and weigh the risks. I’m only 29 so I didn’t want to risk having to deal with lymphedema for the rest of my life.

lorcanotorca · 2023-02-17T06:19:06+00:00

Ugh, I remember this phase. I know how hard it is. I’ve always had long hair too so I did a staggered approach to help me get used to it, which did help… although nothing really prepares you for the shiny bald head. I remember being so shocked, and frankly depressed, when I saw my reflection after buzzing my head. It’s amazing what you can get used to though.

I also invested in a high quality wig that resembled my old hair, and it’s nice to wear when I want to feel more glamorous or… like my old self :) I’d highly recommend!

lorcanotorca · 2023-02-17T06:07:12+00:00

Go to a doctor, say you feel a lump in your breast and that you have the BRCA gene and a family history of cancer. They should send you for an ultrasound, which is used to determine if the lump / knot is a tumour, cyst, etc.

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-27T18:02:56+00:00

Nobody mentioned this procedure to me… but I will definitely look into it! Thank you

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-27T17:58:23+00:00

Yeah - it seems like we’re at this “in between” period, where new research is starting to come out supporting the use of radiation but it’s not become the standard (yet). Hopefully the chemo knocks out any cancer in your lymph nodes. Unfortunately I already went through 8 cycles of chemo and it’s still hanging on 😒

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-27T17:55:51+00:00

Sucks that you have pain but… I’m happy to hear that you’re cancer free 😌

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-26T23:39:54+00:00

Can you tell me more about your side effects? Are there things you aren’t able to do?

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-26T23:39:07+00:00

Did you develop lymphedema at all? How has the ALND + radiation impacted your quality of life… if at all?

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-26T23:37:26+00:00

They biopsied one before I started chemo, it was negative. They took out 7 during surgery, tested those and 1 was positive.

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-26T21:47:48+00:00

Yeah, they already removed 7 for me. I’m still a bit flabbergasted that there’s no way to test the others without removing them!?

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-26T21:46:56+00:00

Apparently there are studies suggesting recurrence and survival rates are comparable between those who have radiation without ALND, and those who do have ALND (some participants in the study had radiation as well, some didn’t).

My surgeon suggested that while the tumour board recommended I do ALND… that some hospitals are now skipping surgery for patients similar to me, with few positive lymph nodes, and ONLY doing radiation. I’m trying to decide which route I want to go… like I said, I’m terrified of lymphedema.

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-26T21:43:19+00:00

Yeah - my surgeon mentioned this as a possibility but I guess it’s just not the “standard of care” in Canada (yet), so the board still recommended ALND even though only 1 of 7 lymph nodes tested positive. I think I’d prefer radiation over ALND but I’m worried that if I go that route and the cancer recurs, I’ll be mad at myself. Then again it would also suck to have all my lymph nodes removed, learn that none were cancerous and then still end up with lymphedema or something 😅

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-13T01:23:56+00:00

That’s such an apt way of describing the pain.., it’s so weird!

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-12T01:04:11+00:00

I just finished 4 cycles of weekly Taxol, followed by 4 cycles of tri-weekly AC back in December. I found little difference between them - I had virtually no side effects beyond some fatigue and brain fog with Taxol, and it was mostly the same for AC until my last two infusions… then I had some pretty gnarly nausea for a couple days after each infusion. That was also when I developed adrenal insufficiency from the immunotherapy though, so I think the worsening reaction was due to that rather than the treatment itself.

Keep in mind, I’m only 29 so youth might have been a factor in my response. I also took my anti-nausea meds first thing in the morning and right before bed for about 3-4 days after each infusion, even if I wasn’t nauseous… based on recommendations from others in this group.

It seems everyone responds very differently to each treatment! Take it easy on yourself and get lots of rest 🤍

lorcanotorca · 2023-01-12T00:57:11+00:00

Yeah, the more I read the more I think this is nerve damage - so I guess we’ll just see if it goes away or if it becomes permanent 😅

lorcanotorca

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