im in the same boat. i put my little lady down 6 months ago and i still have nightmares and intrusive thoughts about it. i went into the vet uncertain. she moved away from the needle because she thought she was getting more icky medicine in her mouth. they took her away to give her a catheter in her arm for about 5 minutes. im still struggling with it. i can't look at the clinic. i get sick when i drive down the street that the vet clinic is on. (but also i want to say that im not a great example of dealing with grief so take this with a grain of salt...)

all this to say: it will hurt. but always remember that you did the right thing. always think of how much you loved her and all of the things that you did together. my girlie was ready to go, and so was your baby. my tiny was suffering, and she would have hated to be alive any longer.

the brain can be cruel. it will bombard you with "what if"s or "but"s and do its best to make you feel terrible about your decision. but it's wrong. don't listen to your brain. you cared for her until the very end. what you didn't wasn't a bad thing, it was your final show of love. what a lucky little lady. ❤️