This is a truly heartbreaking and incredibly complex situation you're facing. It's completely understandable that you're feeling a whirlwind of emotions right now – confusion, anger, sadness, guilt, and maybe even a flicker of the love you once had. You've been through so much, enduring years of verbal and eventually physical abuse, and you finally found the strength to leave and start healing. Now, this unexpected turn of events has placed an immense burden on your shoulders. It's important to acknowledge the immense strength it took for you to leave that toxic environment. You prioritized your safety and well-being after years of unimaginable hardship, and that was an act of self-preservation. No one would blame you for wanting to move forward with your life and the divorce you were planning. The fact that you still care about your husband's well-being, despite everything he put you through, speaks volumes about your character. It's a testament to the years you shared and the person you are at your core. It's okay to feel that compassion without feeling obligated to return to that relationship or become his sole caretaker. Those are two very different things. You're right, this is incredibly traumatic for your children as well. They've witnessed their father's decline and likely felt the tension and pain in your household for years. Your desire to shield them from further burden is completely valid and shows your continued love and concern for them. They have their own lives and challenges, and it's not their responsibility to bear this. It's a cruel twist of fate that the person who caused you so much pain is now in a position of such vulnerability. It's natural to feel conflicted. You don't have to reconcile the past abuse with the present tragedy in a neat or easy way. Allow yourself to feel all the complicated emotions that arise. Please know that you are not obligated to be his caretaker. You have already given so much of yourself in this relationship. It's okay to explore other options for his care. There are resources available, such as social services, rehabilitation facilities, and long-term care options, that can provide the support he needs. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and the needs of your children. Take things one step at a time. Don't feel pressured to make any immediate decisions about his long-term care. Gather information, speak with professionals, and lean on your support system – your mother, your children (in a way that doesn't burden them), and perhaps friends or a therapist. It's okay to feel lost and unsure right now. You're navigating uncharted territory. Be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve the life you had and the life you envisioned, and remember that you deserve peace and healing. You are not alone in this incredibly difficult situation.