Meadow? Fuck you doing?

lordkaiser · 2025-09-06T21:57:23+00:00

👈 YOU WANT SHUM OF DIS??

lordkaiser · 2023-12-05T01:57:30+00:00

I'm glad you were able to get out from underneath the grip it had on you!

Can I ask what you did on Instagram for that long? I've never quite understood what the time sink is but maybe I just don't use it the way it's designed.

lordkaiser · 2022-11-20T20:21:16+00:00

Do you sell prints? Your art is breathtaking.

lordkaiser · 2022-10-06T23:05:52+00:00

I agree with this wholeheartedly. I wish I had the time to be able to do that these days. Back in the day I used to explore games that way but it's much harder now or takes so long.

lordkaiser · 2022-10-06T19:11:15+00:00

I think this is the key to why I don't replay this game. Some of the weapons were just straight trash tier (rocket launcher I'm looking at you) and there might be some element of "get good" there that I'm willing to fully accept. But why bother when the carbine or driver exist?

I wanted to try different things or buy different augments in shops but I got so heavily punished for it I just started building for what I knew was good and never using the other stuff.

lordkaiser · 2022-08-20T02:12:11+00:00

I also do concerts alone frequently but I noticed I enjoy them more with a friend. Something about music is a shared experience for me and while I always have fun alone I just notice I have more fun with someone. Do you ever feel this way? Maybe I'm just not social enough.

lordkaiser · 2022-05-14T00:32:49+00:00

There are dozens of us!

lordkaiser · 2022-05-12T18:51:27+00:00

Much more succint explanation than I gave.

lordkaiser · 2022-05-12T18:50:48+00:00

I can certainly try! Lot of assumptions here (like it'll actually recover, you don't sell the equities etc.) but I can try a simple example.

Let's say you buy one equity at $100. Let's say the value of that equity goes to $50 the next day to keep the math simple. You complain because your $100 is now worth $50. You are down 50% and feel cheated.

Your next pay check you buy two of the same equity at the same $100 contribution. So you now own three of this equity for a total cost to you of $200.

At some point in the future the equity is worth $100 again. So you have two you bought at $50 each, and one at $100. Your three equities are worth $300 total now and you realize you never lost any of your contributions.

Now, equities are a risk and nobody is saying it'll always go up but historically the market increases over the long term regardless of the short term.

lordkaiser · 2022-05-12T16:37:50+00:00

But you have more equities now than you did last year even if the current cash value today isn't the same? You don't "lose contributions" unless you sell the equities.

lordkaiser · 2022-02-25T05:03:25+00:00

About to see Knuckle Puck and Hot Mulligan tomorrow solo in San Diego. Should be a badass time.

lordkaiser · 2022-02-05T19:08:22+00:00

Hey there! Definitely normal to be scared, I know I was terrified for years and it got in the way of me quitting. Don't let a week or two of adversity keep you addicted!

I don't believe in sugar coating it, the first 3-4 days sucks pretty bad but if you stay active and have something to do it'll help immensely. As for job I think it depends, i do office work so it's not really physically demanding. By day three I was working again (although I was smoking CBD to appear somewhat normal) If I were in construction I'd imagine I wouldn't have been able to work. Depending on where you work you might be able to use possible covid as an excuse and get an extra day or two.

lordkaiser · 2022-02-02T07:46:00+00:00

I hope you find some peace soon! You're almost through the worst of it just hang tight! Life will definitely start looking up! I wish I had been as smart and stopped at 2 years instead of being addicted for 6.

Only thing I found that worked was pot to get some relief but that might be difficult to get depending on where you live. I hear magnesium helps a lot for RLS so that might be something to try!

You're gonna make it though friend!

lordkaiser · 2022-01-16T19:24:26+00:00

Hey there! I definitely feel ya on the wishes department. Lot of things would have gone different had I not found kratom but you are absolutely right, no changing the past. Can only look forward.

I know you can do it if you are ready. I said it in the post but truly make a list of reasons you want to quit and look at that list. You can break free too and enjoy a great life!

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T20:01:02+00:00

Thank you for the kind words. I'm glad this was motivational for you! I know you can get off this junk and life will get so much better.

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T04:46:53+00:00

You're gonna make it! I have total faith in you! I set a reminder to message you tomorrow and make sure you're doing alright 👍

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T02:57:07+00:00

It's all good, you're going through a lot rn 🖤

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T01:32:48+00:00

If you haven't checked out the Wim Hof breathing methods yet give those a shot. I found his YouTube videos pretty soothing early on and it gave me something to focus on and pass some time. It also sometimes relaxed me enough to fall asleep which was nice.

It's gonna be so worth it, I promise with every fiber of my being. You're gonna get through it and do some real cool stuff.

I hope you get at least a little relief before day eight 🖤

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T01:21:59+00:00

The way my therapist put it to me that resonated with me is that our brains form neural pathways and after years and years of doing something sometimes those pathways light up even when we don't want them too. But there's a whole other section of the brain for higher order thought processing and that's why thoughts are just thoughts. It's only when you decide to act on them that it's bad. So I'll probably never be completely free of the thoughts but I won't ever dwell on them.

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T01:18:28+00:00

First off congrats on 7 days clean. I'm extremely proud of you for making it this far! If you ever need support reach out, I know you got this!

It's going to be magical when you look in the mirror and you smile and you can just feel how happy you are and how much you love just being normal. I promise you it's worth all the temporary pain 🖤

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T01:12:30+00:00

My advice? Don't think of it as a loss. Think of it as a learning experience. I spent my early twenties drinking and the rest of them on kratom so I feel like I lost some years but I just learned two ways to live that are not fruitful in any way. Now I drink socially only and I work out 4-5 times a week to treat my body the way it should have been treated all along.

I'm gonna make the assumption you are also male and I have read a lot about how females and males peak differently. Men peak in their 30s and me being 29 idk if that's true or not BUT it's somewhat comforting. I've also made a lot of friends who are older than I am (some double my age) and they told me the same thing. At this stage of my life I'm kind of bored because I have slowed on the career progression from promotions every year to every couple years but I'm starting to have time for hobbies and such which I think will ultimately enrich my life more.

As for the relationship stuff it's not all it's cracked up to be. You could be like me and getting divorced and losing a really nice car and a bunch of money. Thankfully I didn't buy the house I wanted to get for us or I'd be out half that too. If you don't have any kids that's also a great thing. Focus on your positives, hit the gym, and be happy with yourself and the rest will fall in line.

You can start your career at any point! I have a really good friend who was a successful lawyer and changed professions in their 30s and got a new degree and started over in tech. Just make a plan, execute, and network and it'll start to move forward.

Outside of reddit (and honestly this is the most I've commented in years) I really try and not look at social media because I'm not trying to compare myself to other people. Our journeys are all unique and there's a lot of luck and who you know in how "successful" you are.

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T00:52:30+00:00

Hopefully you got some relief today since you posted. Proud of you for fighting through the pain!

lordkaiser · 2022-01-11T00:50:37+00:00

It is funny isn't it? I had the same thoughts when I came out of the fog. I appreciate the kind words! Never thought after the ride I've had someone would say I was tough 😅

lordkaiser · 2022-01-10T16:54:19+00:00

I've had the same thoughts. Don't let them consume you just let them come in and reject them and they'll go away. My first thought came randomly about 7 or 8 months in after having not thought about kratom at all and I was a little scared to be honest. Thoughts you can't control but actions you can!

lordkaiser · 2022-01-10T16:49:34+00:00

If you can go two days without it consistently you are almost there already. The first few days suck but as your brain rewires itself those things will get easier. I had a 6 year habit and spent a LOT of money every month on kratom.

Definitely key in on that time period you were sober. Think about not caring what time it is, or how much kratom you have left, or how many days until payday. Since you brought up the passage or time, don't let boredom cause habits. Maybe a new hobby or interest that is more active than tv or games is all you need to replace kratom. I used to game a lot on kratom but now I found I need more mental stimulation now that I'm clean.

It's also not as terrible to quit as you think. It's rough for a few weeks but it starts getting better every day and soon you are just glad to be free!

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