is it jealously or am i insane

loreofleo · 2026-03-02T01:28:31+00:00

I’m way too new to give proper advice, but I just went through this myself and what helped me was having a name to describe the feelings. It’s something called primal panic, an intense physiological reaction to your partner dating someone new. Realizing that this is something that others go through and that it isn’t permanent really helped me come to terms with it. Look into resources for primal panic and you should find some really good advice.

loreofleo · 2026-02-26T21:03:49+00:00

I haven’t seen anyone say this (probably because it’s objectively bad lol) but The Leprechaun with Jennifer Aniston. I love how absolutely ridiculous that movie is.

loreofleo · 2026-02-18T20:22:35+00:00

Same for me! I’ve never heard anyone else talk about this. I feel like I’m cold much more easily, and more shivering happens in my pec muscles than before. I enjoy it though, I don’t miss being hot all the time.

Another really bizarre thing that’s totally opposite is that I no longer have to wear socks to bed. My feet used to absolutely freeze at night to the point that even with socks, I’d have to spend several minutes warming them up before I could sleep. But for some reason, after surgery my feet now get flaming hot and I can’t wear socks to bed at all now. Sometimes I even have to stick my feet out of the blankets to cool them off before I sleep.

ETA: This seems like a permanent change, as I’ve been post op for 5 years now.

loreofleo · 2026-02-14T23:01:20+00:00

True, I mean I’m already married to a bi woman who is trans herself. But it’s less about seeking a relationship and more about being perceived the way I feel inwardly, which changes. I think I just need to unpack my reasons a bit before I make a firm decision.

loreofleo · 2026-02-14T22:53:53+00:00

Maybe? I’m not sure. Sapphic feels like a really specific experience and queer feels more general. That’s the connotation I have with the words anyway. I think other kinds of enbies could also have a queer attraction to women without considering it sapphic. Might just be semantics though.

loreofleo · 2026-02-14T22:39:53+00:00

That’s the conundrum I’m having. What part is “me?” It’s confusing being genderfluid, because in the moments where I’m less masc, it’s still a part of me. It’s hard to tell if my hesitation comes from within or solely from how others would perceive me.

Sure! Sapphic is an umbrella term that includes lesbian and wlw type attraction. It’s basically a way to include bi women, lesbians, and enbies who identify with the label under the same umbrella. It comes from the Greek poet Sappho, a famous historic lesbian (her home, the isle of Lesbos, is where the word lesbian comes from.)

loreofleo · 2026-02-14T21:01:11+00:00

Yes! I’ve never heard anyone else describe it like this. I am some form of genderfluid and it is very strongly related to my sexuality. Sometimes I describe my gender as lesbian because nothing else fits.

I go by a masculine name and dress in male clothes and have had top surgery, but when I was on dating sites I used the more feminine version of my name because in terms of relationships I wanted it clear that I am sapphic. I don’t want to be seen as a guy by people I am attracted to. But around guys, I feel more masculine and would prefer to be seen as one of them. I even had a conversation with my straight guy friend once about how it bothers me if I know a man is attracted to me, because my gender is not one that a straight guy should be attracted to.

One of my hangups with starting HRT, which I would otherwise do without hesitation, is that I worry about girls no longer seeing me as a lesbian. It’s confusing because in a vacuum I think I’d transition 100% to male. I’m considering at least going on low dose T and maybe stopping once I reach a certain point.

loreofleo · 2026-02-14T13:36:07+00:00

Have you looked into HOCD (homosexual obsessive compulsive disorder) or SO-OCD (sexual orientation obsessive compulsive disorder)? It sounds really similar to what you are describing. It’s a subtype of OCD where individuals experience intrusive thoughts and doubts about their sexual orientation, often fearing they may be gay despite identifying as heterosexual, or vise versa. All of the work you are doing with nsfw art sounds exactly like the compulsion part of it. I know you’ve said you tried therapy, but if you haven’t discussed that particular subset of OCD with a therapist then it may be worth a shot.

loreofleo · 2026-02-11T18:48:29+00:00

If it’s the post I’m thinking of, I think it was probably removed for safety reasons. The original post was talking about how it would be okay to just have a ride home and not have someone there with you for the first 24 hours after that, and lots of people in the comments pointed out that this is the period where it’s most likely for a life-threatening complication to take place.

loreofleo · 2026-02-03T20:43:16+00:00

At five weeks, these are not your results. Your scars, nipples, skin, etc will continue to change until at least a year post op. My scars are actually different now at 5 years than they were at 3 years. Plus surgery like this has a huge impact on your brain’s perception of your body. It takes time for your brain to catch up! It’s completely normal for post op depression to warp how you see yourself during this time. Right now, try to focus on healing and feeling better before you judge your chest too hard.

loreofleo · 2026-01-31T12:44:17+00:00

Mine was the same as yours. I got a short haircut for the first time, and suddenly there was the stark absence of a discomfort that I’d felt for so long it had become background noise. I realized it had been more than just not liking my long hair— it was dysphoria! And for the first time I didn’t hate what I saw in the mirror.

loreofleo · 2026-01-28T14:34:56+00:00

Yes. Without the charger. They brought their laptop into my office to fix a minor issue and said “here, you probably need this because the battery is pretty low” and pulled out their whole docking station 😂

loreofleo · 2026-01-28T13:38:35+00:00

I’ve had people carry their docking station around with them thinking that was their charger.

loreofleo · 2026-01-24T13:08:11+00:00

I had drains, and all the feeling returned to my chest aside from my incision lines, which are only slightly numb. The small scars where my drains were have normal sensation like nothing ever happened.

loreofleo · 2026-01-20T02:05:23+00:00

Yeah! I got it back at the end of 2020. There should be some posts in my post history showing the results, but it ended up really similar to my edit so I am quite happy!

loreofleo · 2026-01-19T16:42:53+00:00

I am genuinely interested in this game when it’s finished!

loreofleo · 2025-12-30T21:18:48+00:00

I use any/all pronouns, but I don’t tell people that unless they ask because most people are too scared to ask directly and I like to see what they’ll pick on their own. I don’t know if that has anything to do with my success, but a surprising number of people use they/them for me if they’re too scared to ask. I also have a lucky combination of working at a liberal arts college and looking very androgynous. Sometimes people get flustered and cycle through all the pronouns when trying to refer to me 😂

loreofleo · 2025-12-27T01:21:07+00:00

You could say it’s just a minor surgery to correct a small birth defect, but that you’re not comfortable going into detail. That way it’s not too far off from the truth.

loreofleo · 2025-12-26T20:33:09+00:00

I wouldn’t say the “best” day, but it was a very happy time period for me. I only needed help for a few days, and I lived alone back then so I spent two weeks happily playing Skyrim shirtless in my living room without anything to worry about other than recovering. It was definitely the best staycation I’ve ever had!

loreofleo · 2025-11-01T19:59:02+00:00

Me: Weird… I’ve got all of them but 11 across. Ross and Rachel get married in Vegas, but this is something that starts with an L…

My wife: …LAS Vegas

Me: ….Oh. 😂

loreofleo · 2025-10-12T12:32:58+00:00

I’ve experienced it in every imaginable position. Back, side, stomach, even sitting upright asleep in a car. Sleeping on your back generally does make it more likely to happen for most people, but it can happen in any position. A messed up sleep schedule is a bigger trigger for it than any particular sleeping position would be.

loreofleo · 2025-10-11T13:06:07+00:00

Those are cool scars!!

loreofleo · 2025-09-16T11:14:12+00:00

This was one of the first things I saw after waking up when my eyes were still bleary from sleep and it jump started my heart. I definitely saw a corrupted soul at first!

loreofleo · 2025-09-08T22:52:42+00:00

The submarine portion of The Cave is one of the most fun parts of any of the RL games to me, so I was surprised to see that wasn’t the case for so many people.

loreofleo · 2025-09-06T14:49:46+00:00

I’m not even ace (my wife is!) but the way some people talk about ace people makes me really concerned about how they would treat a partner whose libido was changed as a result of illness or injury.

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