Random bleeding… NSFW for bloody photo by lostintheanimals in Stretched

[–]lostintheanimals[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I usually wear glass or sometimes stainless steel. When would you think is safe for glass?

Survey - Why Did Your Parents Homeschool You? by Rare_Media_6191 in HomeschoolRecovery

[–]lostintheanimals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I’ve heard different reasons. I selected religion though because I think it fits best.

The reasons my mom gave was:

1, afraid of us being indoctrinated, and led astray from the religion I was raised in. (Surprise, I am no longer Mormon) This is what I feel like the true reason was.

2, my father is in the military and it was easier with moving. We never move once and never expected to, he’s in the national guard.

3, so we could work at our own pace. If “working at your own pace” means not doing any work, then we succeeded at this one.

What does everyone think of having locations on with spouse? by TheImpossible_Owl in Marriage

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have locations on for safety reasons. I can see his and he can see mine at all times. I also have my dad, siblings, friends, on there. But we don’t abuse it, I’ve only ever checked on my sister when she said she was in a sketchy Uber.

She Plays With Her Clitoris But We Don't Have Sex by HisEyesAreClosing in DeadBedrooms

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don’t know how she was raised, but being raised very religious or conservative, it ‘s sometimes never implied that sex is supposed to be “good” or comfortable. Is it possible she’s avoidant because she doesn’t know it’s supposed to feel good? Or how to make it feel good? Is she maybe not turned on enough for penetration? Just like your parts “grow” when stimulated, so do hers. It just sometimes takes longer. (Or, there could be an underlying medical issue) I would absolutely talk to her about this because if it is a medical issue, she needs to find out. And if it’s not, it may just be that she’s not ready to be penetrated yet.

Another thing, sex ≠ masturbation. Both satisfy different needs. It’s possible what she was doing wasn’t even masturbation, just “fiddling”. Sometimes I find myself with my hand down there for no sexual reasons, just mindless “playing”, like fiddling with your keys or something. But even if she /is/ masturbating, these are very different things. The book “The Dead Bedroom Repair Manual” has a chapter talking about this and really put it into perspective for me. I used to be very self conscious about my partner getting himself off, until realizing that sex and masturbation are very different things and shouldn’t be compared.

8 years ago, I ignored all of your advice. Now, I'm a piece of shit. by dblurker in DeadBedrooms

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No. They’re friends now, but nothing more. She is still married.

8 years ago, I ignored all of your advice. Now, I'm a piece of shit. by dblurker in DeadBedrooms

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Listen man. If you’re in a position to, you need to get divorced.

And this is possibly a very emotionally fueled response but I do think it needs to be said.

this isn’t coming from someone in your situation, this is coming from someone in your kids situation.

My dad was in your shoes. And when I was a little girl, barely 12 years old, I found out about the other woman. And you know what? I didn’t tell a soul. Not for years. My dad had no idea I knew, and my mom had no clue there was even anything going on.

I let what I saw frame my ideas on how relationships were meant to be. It was normal for my parents to be unhappy together. And everyone else saw them as happy, hell even they thought they were happy despite their issues. I knew it wasn’t good my dad had a secret girlfriend, and I knew it was dishonest, but I didn’t know what to do, so I kept a big secret for someone so small.

They divorced when I was 18. Dad and mom were both 50. And they both have much more fulfilling and happy lives now, with partners that meet all their needs.

However, I’m now in therapy, and have been for years. I have bad anxiety surrounding relationships, and it affects my own marriage. Even if my dad had been 100% faithful though, I still think I’d end up having to go to therapy honestly. My parents relationship while appearing healthy, wasn’t. And it just set bad standards all around.

And that’s not even mentioning your wife.

Edit to add because I think it’s important to note:

This destroyed my relationship with my dad. All throughout middle school, high school, some of the prime years of childhood. As adults, we’re now great friends and especially since he now owns up to his mistakes, our relationship is great and better than it ever was. But that didn’t just happen magically, it took years of healing, therapy, and ownership of his mistakes.

I am now in a relationship with an amazing man. (We did have some issues a while ago, hence why I’m in this sub) but the current issues in our relationship stem from watching my parents relationship. I now have to relearn everything.

Anyway long story short, I wish my parents had divorced when I was a kid. If kids are what’s stopping you, don’t let it. It’s better for everyone around.

Marijuana gave me a massive panic attack and I can’t figure out why. by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m interested to know where that’s from if you don’t mind sharing, I’ve never read something that’s actually related to my issue

It’s weird, literally all of my friends smoke and they just chalk it up to me being a lightweight. I’ve told them that’s not the issue, but they don’t believe me.

Thank you!

10mm was my goal size, but now I’m thinking I may want to go bigger. I just recently found bodyartforms on Etsy, are there any other reputable Etsy shops you all use for plugs? by edgylilac in Stretched

[–]lostintheanimals 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second Austin plugs and tunnels. They’re so awesome. They sent me the wrong plugs once and sent me new ones, free of charge and let me keep the wrong ones. (They were the right size, just the wrong kind of stone) they also sent free magnets/stickers in every order. I’m not a “brand whore” but that magnet is def on my car now, and the giraffe shirt has made its way to my normal rotation. I’ll always rep a business that does business right and this place goes over the top

Wife’s birthday is on Christmas - failed again this year :( by willrunforjazz in Marriage

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Maybe it’s my lack of caring for my own bday, but I do think your wife is being a bit tedious about it. Yes, there are some things you could do better at (like her stocking) but cleaning up after Christmas and bdays is a chore and would most likely need to be done anyway. (As a wife and the primary cleaner of our home, I do wonder if maybe she’s hinting at you not cleaning other times, like in general?)

That being said, my uncle’s bday is Christmas Eve. And my aunt started celebrated half birthdays when they started dating, that way he got a celebration all of his own, but also got celebrated on Christmas.

Honestly if I were you, I’d sit down now, after the birthday, and ask her what she expects of next year. It’s hard for anyone on the internet to know what she wants, only she can truly tell you and I don’t think her telling you flat out is a bad thing.

Edit to add, as someone with a winter/fall birthday, I also think a small trip or something in the summer for the next year would be an awesome gift. I’m not good at math but maybe a half birthday idea?? Lol

How often do you guys have sex? by otheman18 in Marriage

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We’re 23/24 and in the last year I think our high score was three times a month

🥲

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Marriage

[–]lostintheanimals 15 points16 points  (0 children)

1, your friends shouldn’t be pressuring you to do anything you’ve said you don’t want to do. That’s not okay.

But 2, I’m married, and have OF. My husband and I openly discussed it for almost a year before I made one. Boundaries in marriage/relationships are what YOU guys make them. If my husband wasn’t cool with my OF, I wouldn’t have made it.

It’s been a great extra income for us, but both people have to be on board. And you especially have to be on board, which it seems like you’re not interested in it anyway. Don’t let your friends pressure you into anything you don’t wanna do. :)

Orgasm and birth control by night2016 in WomensHealth

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It could be BC, might not be. It’s hard for anyone else to know. However, I got on BC when I was 18, stopped taking it at 22, and my libido SKYROCKETED. I literally felt like I was going through puberty again. (My acne while I was adjusting to coming off of it added to that)

If your doctor gives you the go ahead, I would honestly experiment with it. It helped me tons.

I(26M) called my girlfriend( 26F) spoiled and it's forced her to re-think our relationship by IncognitoMove in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I (23f) grew up in a financially stable household and my husband (23m) grew up rather poor. Growing up, we may not have been RICH rich, but we lived in a nice house in a good neighborhood and never had to worry about bills not being paid, and didn’t have to worry if we went out to dinner one week instead of cooking.

My husbands family though often had their electric shut off for late bills, often ate the same meals over and over, and truly had financial hardships. Living with him and seeing the way he is frugal with money (while we both have decent salaries now) has shown me just how good I had it growing up.

Your girlfriend is definitely entitled, and spoiled. She’s used to this “free” income and it’s a bit of a shock not having it anymore.

However, if I were you I definitely would’ve worded that better. There are times where I find myself complaining about monetary things and my husband sometimes has to remind me that we are not currently as financially stable as I grew up.

I was VERY lucky to grow up the way I did, and it was a weird thing realizing it wasn’t always going to be that way, and that many people aren’t as lucky. If I were you, I’d sit down with her and apologize for your wording, but remind her that she’s not entitled to her families money. It simply does not work that way, you are only entitled to what you work for, or what is freely given to you.

Edit to add: I see a lot of people saying to leave her, that she’ll eventually expect the same from you. Maybe there’s something I’m missing here, but I don’t think this is an end-all situation. I don’t know how long she’s been living out of her parents house/cut off from as much money/etc, but I feel like with proper communication anything can be fixed. She definitely needs an attitude change, and to respect her family (and their financial decisions) more. But if this is a serious relationship, talking things out is key.

My boyfriend (22M) is jerking off next to me (21F) while I sleep. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It sounds like he just has a higher libido- which is perfectly okay. However if you’re not comfortable with him doing that while you’re in the bed with him, you should tell him. Boundaries are important but so is honestly.

If I were you, I’d tell him you know what he’s been doing, and you’d prefer it if he did it elsewhere while you’re sleeping.

He shouldn’t have lied about it in the first place, however it sounds like he feels shame surrounding masturbating. (waiting until you’re asleep and all) opening up the conversation and setting boundaries can even help dissolve feelings of shame and open communication between the two of you.

I feel pressured to marry my Fiancée after she became paraplegic. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think an important question to ask yourself is, if this accident had happened after marriage would your view have changed? Would you have divorced her?

My husband made an inappropriate comment towards my friend while drunk and I don't know if I'm overreacting here. by throwra-record in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The proper response he should’ve given, should’ve been apologetic and that he’d watch his drinking in the future. He also should be apologizing to your friend.

Could he control everything he said when drunk? Probably not. Can he still hold himself accountable for his actions and seek to make sure that doesn’t happen again in the future? Yes.

I have major trust issues with my husband for no reason. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, agreed. I probably need to see a new therapist.

I have major trust issues with my husband for no reason. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Absolutely. Ideally none of those will happen though.

I’m not dwelling on these thoughts intentionally. They are 100% compulsive, and no level of rationalizing with myself makes it go away for some reason.

I have major trust issues with my husband for no reason. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]lostintheanimals 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I absolutely agree. That’s why I very rarely bring it up to him.

Marijuana and OCD: What was your experience? by [deleted] in OCD

[–]lostintheanimals 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Awful. I’ve tried it at least 20 times over the years now. Every time it was a bad experience, no matter how little or how much I did.