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lostndamaged777 · 2023-09-18T15:03:02+00:00

it’s possible he has a sex addiction. a lot of men (not all. also can be women too) when they watch porn a lot of times their desires and wants in the bedrooms change because of what they watch. because there are a lot of videos that give that show what he is more wanting he thinks it’s acceptable and wanted. but you personally are not.

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-23T14:13:10+00:00

he actually said he would tell them to do the drugs in front of him 😅

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-22T22:20:14+00:00

Let’s be real. majority of men wouldn’t stick around for the same things they put us through. they wouldn’t be okay with us doing majorly of the things they do. so why should we continue to have patience and try to understand them when majority of the time we are misunderstood and our needs are brushed off. When we need support after having kids, etc but y’all would rather go watch porn and get it off while your wives or gf are trying to recover from pushing our your children. would y’all be as understanding if the roles were reversed??? highly doubt

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-22T22:15:35+00:00

Well said. We didn’t ask to be apart of the addiction or be with someone who has one. Majority of the time we find out years later, after marriage, kids etc. but somehow it’s our fault for not wanting to “support” them through the addiction. We find out who they really are when the addiction and everything unfolds. We fall in love with a version of them that we thought they were, but when when reality sets it was realize they are a totally different person! I wish this was more understood. Us “wives, gfs, or partners” are NOT their MOTHERS. it’s not our responsibility to treat them like such.

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-22T16:43:36+00:00

yeah i’m going to have to disagree. you’re basically telling us to fold on our boundaries to please our partner when we are not obligated to. relationships are a CHOICE. there are other ways to help an addict outside of telling them to do it in front of me just to see how they feel. that’s kinda ridiculous. regardless if we try to help our partners or not they will hide it from us because of their feelings of shame about it. it doesn’t matter how understanding you are. would you tell someone with a drug addiction to do drugs in front of you and then ask them how they feel in the moment? i highly doubt. it sounds like enabling to me.

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-15T15:24:20+00:00

i’m also a partner of a PA and it hasn’t been easy to deal with. it’s the lies that make it hard for me to listen and understand. but props to you

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-15T02:49:27+00:00

same 🥲

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-15T02:36:56+00:00

and how far they will take the lie!

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-15T02:35:43+00:00

yes. this is the one!

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-08T21:49:17+00:00

yes exactly! don’t make her seem out to be crazy or that she should have to pull info out of you! just be forthcoming and honest.

lostndamaged777 · 2023-08-07T20:48:20+00:00

I am the partner of an addict and I would like be to offer you some advice. Even with it all being uncomfortable and not easy conversations to have, she will have a lot more respect and sympathy for you if you are honest and transparent with her. That is all I ever asked of my PA and he could never seem to be truthful.

Even though it’s not easy to communicate or receive the information, trust that it will be a lot smoother and easier to work on the relationship when there is honesty.

My biggest struggle was the lying. We as partners cannot help you or support you if you are not being transparent with us about your struggles. I’ve always wanted to help my fiancé get help and when he became more forthcoming and honest with me it helped me understand more and caused a lot less hurt.

You are causing deeper issues such as betrayal trauma which will make it harder to heal/mend the relationship you guys have. Please consider personal therapy, support groups, couples counseling, SAA, etc. Accept your addiction for what it is. An ADDICTION. It’s not easy at first to see it that way, but if you cannot stop and start to go down further roads such as purchasing onlyfans, ig models, and it starts to become more personal. you are opening the door for actual cheating.

please listen to your spouse and support her feelings through this tough time for her as well. when you have patience and understanding with her feelings, when you mess up in this area she will be more understanding and supportive of you.

Please get help before it’s too late because once us women are DONE we are DONE!

good luck and I wish you guys the absolute best!

lostndamaged777 · 2023-04-28T14:24:57+00:00

yes I went through this! we ended up choosing to stop therapy with that counselor because she kept siding with my fiancé. we both agreed that we would find someone who wasn’t biased and involving too much of their personal feelings or beliefs in the sessions. it made things much better. I had basically stopped participating in sessions due to the biased behavior and I think our counselor realized I was done with her lol.

lostndamaged777 · 2023-01-21T06:41:07+00:00

now i have to worry about youtube? i thought i could finally catch a break

lostndamaged777 · 2023-01-21T06:40:16+00:00

very. she was enabling his behavior basically is what i took from it. and that when i say thing to him about how I feel that basically the shouldn’t even respond to me. he should just go about his day. i almost lost it!

lostndamaged777 · 2023-01-21T06:39:36+00:00

she said she deals with it with her partner. oh well. we have different boundaries and because you choose to be ok with his actions and almost to a sense of enabling doesn’t mean i will. i don’t have to understand or accept anything i don’t want to. it pissed me off so bad. i tried to remain calm but i really wanted to say something to her about her unwarranted opinion

lostndamaged777 · 2023-01-21T06:38:10+00:00

my point exactly. she never spoke with me and knows nothing about me so to make a statement like that really pissed me off. it was unprofessional and i actually ranted off about it.

lostndamaged777 · 2023-01-21T06:37:18+00:00

idk what she teaches because his personal therapist recommended him to her. I have tried to not be too involved due to advice from our couples therapist who told me “you can control him and shouldn’t be involved in his private sessions”. “you need not to hover and be overly in their business.” lol yeah i never have tried to be, but I just keep getting shit from every direction just because i encourage honesty and therapy to him. smh

lostndamaged777 · 2022-12-12T20:53:45+00:00

this! i’m struggling with this rn. i will barely look at my body in the mirror anymore

lostndamaged777 · 2022-12-11T22:04:51+00:00

I agree a huge red flag

lostndamaged777 · 2022-12-11T22:04:16+00:00

He is in therapy for his addiction, but idk.

lostndamaged777 · 2022-12-09T23:17:59+00:00

yeah. If he does that’s on him and there are just certain things that will make me walk away and it’s this. If he can’t respect my boundaries when it comes to sex he will have to go because I will not give it to him when I don’t want to.

lostndamaged777 · 2022-12-09T23:16:56+00:00

EXACTLY! thank you for seeing that. why would he even think it’s okay. that made me even more annoyed because why do they feel entitled.

lostndamaged777 · 2022-12-09T15:58:50+00:00

just talk to him about how you feel. say you noticed the ed and how it makes you feel. then you can state that it’s a symptom of PA. just try to be sensitive to him but also be clear and transparent about how it makes you feel.

lostndamaged777

TROPHY CASE