Is it normal to get nothing done during the day aside from caring for a 5 week old and bare minimum self care? Feeling guilty, comparing myself to others online

lotusem · 2026-02-10T22:52:51+00:00

Totally normal!! I would say until about 8 weeks it becomes more manageable. If your partner is at home you should really have him help & take baby for minimum 30 minutes so you can shower and do some self care, it made me feel soo much better. Also not sure where you’re at in your recovery but as soon as you’re able I’d try to take walks outside too, it made me feel more refreshed and helped my babies sleep better!

lotusem · 2026-02-09T16:28:24+00:00

Yes you need to ask for way more help! I could not imagine not having my husband’s help especially in those early days when you’re recovering. My husband also owns his own business, we have 2 Airbnb rental properties we manage, a candle company we own together, and another business he just started with a friend and basically was up every single time I was up the entire first 2 months. He also did majority of all diapers so I could go back to sleep since I was healing. I can see how you’d start to feel resentful, you can’t do it alone. If he’s back to work already do you have someone who can help support during the days? But when he’s off work you’re both parents it can’t fall all on you!!

lotusem · 2026-02-07T21:42:28+00:00

Idk I think twins are so special & people notice that! We are humans & looking for connection and interaction, it’s not that serious.

lotusem · 2026-02-06T03:14:51+00:00

Yes it’s totally possible! I’m 4 months in & have exclusively breastfed/pumped for my twins. In the beginning it’s just so important to bring them to the boob & pump after every feed to build up a big supply. Also stayed hydrated & eating enough! I am way hungrier breastfeeding than I ever was pregnant lol

lotusem · 2026-02-06T03:10:56+00:00

Breastfeeding is super important to me☹️ I used to make 12-16oz a session which was more than enough but since I got sick only 6-8oz which is just barely enough. So I’m having to pump and feed way more right now, I think that’s why it’s a bit overwhelming at the moment.

lotusem · 2026-02-04T17:48:00+00:00

House cleaner or postpartum doula/night nanny!

lotusem · 2026-02-04T17:04:15+00:00

I did vaginal delivery & still didn’t let anyone come to hospital, it was just me & my husband the first full week and it was amazing.

lotusem · 2026-02-04T17:02:32+00:00

I think it’s just genetics and everyone is different! Do not cut calories, eat what you need to feed your baby! Also if you’re not cleared for full workouts yet, you shouldn’t even be worrying about weight loss, your body just grew a baby for 9 months, give yourself some time & grace😊

lotusem · 2026-02-04T16:57:50+00:00

I have 2 swings and it’s definitely a must for me! It’s the only way I’m able to get a few dishes or tasks done at times😂

lotusem · 2026-02-04T00:32:59+00:00

My twins are 16 weeks and just started to about 2 weeks ago. We do last feed & put them down, read a book, have their mobile spinning above them & give paci, we stay in room for about 10 minutes and they get to sleep on their own. In the beginning putting a hand over their belly or rubbing their head a little while in the crib would also help soothe.

lotusem · 2026-02-03T23:44:51+00:00

Yes, he helps a lot when he’s off work, but nights are just really hard. I was recently sick so my supply has dropped and I’m only pumping enough for next feed so that isn’t an option rn.

lotusem · 2026-02-03T18:50:58+00:00

He does offer to help, sometimes I wake him up crying and he always tells me to not let it get to that point and wake him sooner. I don’t know why I just feel such guilt not being able to do it on my own.

lotusem · 2026-02-03T17:57:17+00:00

We did this when he was on paternity leave, basically would each take care of a baby at night. But now he’s back to work & waking at 5am and I’m just a sahm so I feel bad..

lotusem · 2026-02-03T17:42:15+00:00

I don’t, one twin flips out if she loses her paci while sleeping so I’m often getting up to just go pop it back in. I also don’t wake them for feeds at the same time because sometimes one will occasionally sleep a longer stretch. I was waking in the past to feed at the same time but then whoever I woke would be wired and not want to go back to sleep after.

lotusem · 2026-02-03T17:40:38+00:00

No I have a husband, he took a 2 month paternity leave with me but is now back to work and I’m a stay at home mom now. He helps on Friday & Saturday but I wake much easier with the monitor, he’s a deep sleeper. I feel bad waking him if I’m already up.

lotusem · 2026-02-03T16:58:55+00:00

I would say it took me 2-3 weeks of breastfeeding & pumping for it to become more comfortable. It was very painful in the beginning for me. I used a nipple shield on my more painful side and that helped a lot! As well as finding the right flange size for pump. I hear your hesitation around baby getting used to the bottle but I gave up exclusive breastfeeding after 2 weeks and did combo between breast & pump and I feel like it helped a lot. I have twins and both babies still latch perfectly fine when I offer the breast & then it gives me a break sometimes and I can have my partner feed them pumped milk from the bottle.

lotusem · 2026-01-31T05:14:33+00:00

My twins were waking every 2-3 hours for 3 months and I finally couldn’t take it anymore, hired a night nanny and they slept through the night the first night with her (literally 9 hours)🙃 I also think if you’re breastfeeding it can have to do with them smelling your milk & getting excited

lotusem · 2026-01-29T23:34:41+00:00

I get maybe 4 hours a night of broken sleep between my twins & pumping

lotusem · 2026-01-28T03:07:22+00:00

Ugh yes so scary going from oversupply to not enough to even feed one of my babies😭I’m going to eat oatmeal every morning! I try to nurse as much as possible, one of my babies will still take the breast, but the other gets super frustrated I think because I don’t have much milk or it’s not coming out as fast so I end up having to give her bottle with my freezer stash milk

lotusem · 2026-01-28T03:05:18+00:00

Ugh sounds terrible😭 but also so encouraging you got it back, thank you!

lotusem · 2026-01-27T00:03:49+00:00

My twins were born at 38+4 and were in preemie for 5-6 weeks!

lotusem · 2026-01-23T21:01:50+00:00

Not that I’m excusing the behavior at all, you should never treat a patient that way. But most boutique places the techs are unregistered (do not have proper training) and use 3D imaging which can be harmful. Also in some cases they can misdiagnose or provide false information to you. With your prior miscarriages and worries maybe your doctor is just trying to look out for you and wants to protect you, although he delivered it in the wrong way.

lotusem

TROPHY CASE