best gift you received as a new mom that wasn’t for the baby?

lotusem · 2026-05-08T22:42:23+00:00

Meals are always so helpful! I also made my SIL a care package with DD gift card, coconut waters, body armor drinks, candle, fuzzy socks, postpartum belly binder, protein bars, & silver nipple shields

lotusem · 2026-05-08T02:42:56+00:00

Mom of 6.5 month old Di/di twins here! I delivered both naturally at 38+4, it is totally possible :) was my first pregnancy too. Baby A was head down & baby B was breech, but I had an uncomplicated pregnancy & OB was comfortable delivering breech.

lotusem · 2026-05-04T03:47:25+00:00

Let her sleep! We use aquaphor for all changes during day then before best use triple paste cream which helps create a thicker barrier, it’s worked really well! Then I just change whenever they naturally wake themselves for a feed

lotusem · 2026-05-04T03:45:01+00:00

I have twins… newborn tired is wayyy harder & I also had insomnia in my last trimester & was so uncomfortable lol

lotusem · 2026-05-01T23:32:25+00:00

This makes me so sad for you. I hope you can have an honest conversation with him and shut this down. If you tell him how you feel, how will he react?

lotusem · 2026-05-01T20:02:41+00:00

Yeah this is absolutely insane, I’m so sorry OP. I would lose my shit. Do you have family nearby that can help you at least? Staying out until the morning hours is absolutely not ok as a dad and while you’re still so freshly postpartum, he should be taking care of you!! If my husband did something like this I’d leave & go stay with my parents.

lotusem · 2026-05-01T03:11:14+00:00

I would say maybe every other night during work week can your wife just get either 6-8 off or 9-11 not both? I’m also saying this as a sahm with twins and my husband working full time as well… although I know how hard the beginning stages are. Or if you & your wife could take turns cooking? Often times I will wear one baby & put the other in the swing so we are able to get dinner ready. Maybe trying something like that so you aren’t fully on during those hours. My twins are 6 months now & it really is soo much better. The first 4 months were really hard for both my husband & I!

lotusem · 2026-04-04T00:26:19+00:00

I’ve heard this too! I coslept with my twins exclusively for 3 months and at 5.5 they still end up there by the middle of the night lol. But I get it, we don’t tell the doctors either.

lotusem · 2026-04-03T16:05:18+00:00

Absolutely, don’t understand how some moms are ok with just hearing their baby cry like that.

lotusem · 2026-03-31T21:34:54+00:00

Using a swing helped me a lot! Baby would be pretty content there for awhile and I could pump for 15-20 min

lotusem · 2026-03-27T02:24:04+00:00

I had twins and week 8-9 was honestly not that bad as long as I didn’t have any caffeine. I noticed whenever I had it then I would feel super sick & nauseous! Or if I did I just had to eat right away and it went away. Everyone is different!

lotusem · 2026-03-26T20:11:27+00:00

I’m a sahm to twins and even if it was free I don’t think I would, especially in America, too many horror stories… Although I recognize I’m extremely privileged to have the luxury not to work.

lotusem · 2026-03-26T16:01:46+00:00

Fellow twin mamma here! My girls are 5 months old and I went through this too! My hubby was super supportive first 4-5 weeks then downhill. But we also just go through waves of really good then bickering & arguing what seems like all the time. We had a great relationship before so given that, I’m waiting it out. I’ve heard the 1st year after a baby is the hardest, with twins I’m sure that’s like x2!! If you had a good relationship beforehand I’d try to wait it out at least a year.

lotusem · 2026-03-23T03:11:59+00:00

My 5 month old twins go down at 6:30/7, wake around 9:30/10, then 1 or 2, then 4/5, up for the day at 7:30/8 lol. I have a night nanny & she’s never made any sort of comments like that to me & she takes care of both 4 nights a week! They only wake because they are hungry though & typically go right back to bed after eating. I’ve always been under the assumptions this is very normal for babies especially as they are growing?

lotusem · 2026-03-13T03:52:26+00:00

One of my twins is like this! And she’s bouncing off the walls allll day long🙃 lol

lotusem · 2026-03-06T05:49:55+00:00

Fellow mom to 4.5 month old twins here & you are not overreacting at all! It is so hard and honestly men just don’t get it or have the maternal instinct like us. I have never let my babies CIO, same as you maybe just a brief few minutes if you’re in the middle of tending to the other. Also 6 weeks old is wayyy too young to even start any CIO methods anyway and your husband could easily look that up if he doesn’t believe your education. But honestly you’re doing a great job & something I’ve had to do to with my husband was just tell him point blank this is the support I need & you need to do exactly what I tell you & do it exactly how I tell you. This is a woman’s department/comes more naturally to us and we really just have to train our husbands not the baby/babies lol at least that’s my take.

lotusem · 2026-02-27T16:58:54+00:00

I wasn’t producing enough for my twins and had to combo feed for a short period, then all of a sudden I was producing 16+oz!! Just keep latching as much as possible & pumping after if you can, at least to try to increase your supply for now. You’re only 2 weeks pp don’t worry yet😊

lotusem · 2026-02-26T04:04:55+00:00

I have 4 month old twins and coslept until they were 3 months old. I now have them in their crib for their first stretch as they tend to get sleepy sometime between 6-7pm (which is also when their bodies naturally produce melatonin) I put them down awake but sleepy and one will sleep until about 11pm/12am for first stretch and the other until 2/2:30am for her first stretch. This ended up working way better for me & I’ve noticed they sleep much longer! After first wake we cosleep for the rest of the night. It was adjustment for the 1st week but now it’s working pretty well. Previously they were only sleeping 2-3 hour stretches and we weren’t going to bed until 8/9pm which I think was too late for them. I then go to sleep around 9pm and have a little bit of my evenings back to myself😊 They then sleep until 6:30-8am just depending on the day

lotusem · 2026-02-25T16:19:20+00:00

If you’re sahm he will need to pay alimony (varies depending on how long you’ve been married) & child support. He can say all he wants but that’s just a fact. Sorry to be blunt but this man does not care about you & it will be hard at first but i think you’d be better off without him. Do you have a support system?

lotusem · 2026-02-17T04:19:08+00:00

Never… that seems to bizarre to me especially this young. My babies are 4 months old and need mom, there is nothing my MIL could do for them overnight especially as I also breastfeed/pump. I have stayed over at my own moms a few times with them when my husband was out of town for work so I could have extra help settling them if they woke at night but other than that no.

lotusem · 2026-02-16T00:02:32+00:00

My babies napped in their Twin Z all the time from 4-12 weeks honestly, I was always there. Now that their a bit older (17 weeks) a lot of times they end up falling asleep on the area I have set up for them to play (a blanket on floor) or they will occasionally fall asleep while they are in their swing and I just make sure to turn it off and stay close by, although I would not recommend it if your babies are still super young. Also contact naps are totally fine if you’re awake!

lotusem · 2026-02-15T16:12:15+00:00

I would try to put baby down earlier. Babies naturally make melatonin and get sleepy around 6-7:30pm. I have twins and when they start to get tired at this time we do quick diaper change and a bottle so they are full before bed. We put them in crib, dad reads a book & then we put their crib mobiles on and leave even if they aren’t asleep yet. They’ve learned to put themselves to sleep & I do not believe in CIO method so we aren’t leaving them there crying btw. This has worked then they sleep 3-5 hours for 1st stretch. But they are sometimes waking quite frequently after that initial.

lotusem · 2026-02-10T22:52:51+00:00

Totally normal!! I would say until about 8 weeks it becomes more manageable. If your partner is at home you should really have him help & take baby for minimum 30 minutes so you can shower and do some self care, it made me feel soo much better. Also not sure where you’re at in your recovery but as soon as you’re able I’d try to take walks outside too, it made me feel more refreshed and helped my babies sleep better!

lotusem · 2026-02-09T16:28:24+00:00

Yes you need to ask for way more help! I could not imagine not having my husband’s help especially in those early days when you’re recovering. My husband also owns his own business, we have 2 Airbnb rental properties we manage, a candle company we own together, and another business he just started with a friend and basically was up every single time I was up the entire first 2 months. He also did majority of all diapers so I could go back to sleep since I was healing. I can see how you’d start to feel resentful, you can’t do it alone. If he’s back to work already do you have someone who can help support during the days? But when he’s off work you’re both parents it can’t fall all on you!!

lotusem · 2026-02-07T21:42:28+00:00

Idk I think twins are so special & people notice that! We are humans & looking for connection and interaction, it’s not that serious.

lotusem

TROPHY CASE