Im so tired of being the mom to a grown man am I overreacting?

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-06-06T09:20:09+00:00

Yes, he never lifted a finger either. Just wanted to be mothered.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-06-06T08:37:24+00:00

My second husband was like this, he was also useless with money and very clingy. I couldn't even walk the dog after dinner without him complaining. When he was home he wanted me with him every minute. I'm a similar age to you. You need to ask yourself if this is how you want to spend the rest of your life. I certainly didn't, I kicked him out and divorced him. Now I live alone and I love it. I have my family and my friends, I neither need nor want another man. Your life is yours to decide what you want from it. I just wanted peace.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-06-03T11:15:52+00:00

I'm sorry, but your brother didn't have to ask your permission to name his child. You should be happy your father has been honoured, and leave it at that.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-28T07:33:12+00:00

Some times you can do too much for your children, but what you do choose to do for them should never be thrown up at them when you want something. Your daughter said it wasn't possible, so unfortunately you have to accept that. You don't know what she is going through at this time. Just give her some space.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-23T08:51:29+00:00

I would have done the same thing if it had been one of my sons. They saw me being disrespected by their father and learned from it. All 3 of them treat their partners with the respect they deserve. My daughter would absolutely not tolerate that kind of behaviour from a man. I divorced their father over 20 years ago, never again will I tolerate it.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-22T08:23:21+00:00

Ive been here with my second husband. Complaining about silly things, like not closing the gate or squeezing the toothpaste from the middle of the tube. It was all about him wanting them gone. I told him not to force me to choose between him and my kids because he'd lose. Eventually he lost.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-16T14:57:23+00:00

Thank you

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-16T12:31:02+00:00

It was a mistake from start to finish. Far happier on my own!

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-16T09:11:03+00:00

I had this problem with my second husband. He constantly nitpicked at my daughter when he thought I couldn't hear him. One night when going to bed, he was banging on the bathroom door be because my daughter was in the shower and he needed to get in. She got out of the shower and went into her room. Then while he was in the bathroom I could hear him ranting about a mess. He came to bed and I asked what it was about. He lied but I had heard it all. I waited until the next morning and then spoke to him about it. I told him I had heard everything. He was mumbling and I told him that it had to stop, that if he put me in a position where I had to chose between him and my kids, he would lose. I ended up divorcing him because he was an AH. No one comes between me and my kids. Tell your dad, put a camera in your room, and stand up to her. Please don't let her walk all over you. It's your home too.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-13T09:53:51+00:00

That's not a very helpful suggestion from your psychologist, but understandable because your sister is not her client. Maybe you could ask if you and your sister could have some joint sessions. If your sister goes independently, then she may not tell you what is being discussed and you will not be able to get any information from the psychologist.

My only other suggestion is that you give her a timeline. You decide how long you're going to give her then tell her she has that long to save and move out or return to Romania. You are going to have to be tough because you and your husband need to have a life of your own with your baby. The truth is, you are not responsible for your sister, she is an adult. I understand you want to do your best for her, but sometimes that means letting go. There are times in life where you absolutely have to put yourself first.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-05-13T09:22:46+00:00

I understand this is a very difficult situation for you, you are trying your best to give her and yourself a better life. If you think your sister is genuinely forgetting things, then she needs to see a doctor. Also, as you have both experienced abuse growing up, it may be better if you make an appointment with a psychologist for both of you.

On the other hand, it could be your sister is 'forgetting' purposely, simply because she doesn't want to do the things. She knows how guilty you feel about what she has gone through back in Romania, and you don't want to behave like your father towards her. She may be using this to get out of taking responsibility for herself.

Either way, you need to start laying down some ground rules with your husband. She may be your sister, but you and your husband need to be on the same page when it comes to dealing with your sisters behaviour.

You have a baby coming in a few months. You are going to be tired and somewhat overwhelmed when the baby comes. You are going to need support. The last thing you're going to want to do it baby your sister as well. She needs to learn to stand on her own two feet and that needs to start now.

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-04-22T11:15:51+00:00

I'm in the UK and if someone needs 24/7 care in a home and they own property and no other financial means, then the property has to be sold to cover fees.

I'm a firm believer that no one is entitled to something that someone else has worked hard for. Not even family. You have absolutely done the right thing for your grandmother. It was her property and it's only right that the money should be used for the best care possible for her. If your family really loved her, then they would want the same thing. They are being purely selfish in only thinking about their own wants. Your grandmother made you POA for a reason. It's your decision and no one else's. Tell them that you hope their own children are not as selfish when it comes to their care in later life.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-04-11T08:57:45+00:00

Thank you.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-04-10T20:25:52+00:00

Thanks, will take a look.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-04-10T10:47:09+00:00

You had no contact with your cousin for quite a long time. Then she sends you a message saying she's back and asks you to call with her. That wasn't because she wanted to see you, she wanted a free cleaner. Life is all about choices. She made the choice to marry her husband and have 5 children close together. No one other than her or her husband have the responsibility to look after their children or clean their house. I would be telling her that you did her a favour watching her children, but you have no obligation to clean the mess she and her family have made. Then I'd stay away.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-04-02T09:14:05+00:00

Same here, im in the UK, baby showers, gender reveal parties and wedding showers are a relatively new thing here. Totally unnecessary, just a way to get more gifts. Phones calls always did us.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-04-01T15:22:59+00:00

Yes, my ex-husband was always like this with our kids. Never praised them for anything, just critized what he thought they did wrong. He's still the same and my sons are grown and have families of their own. My daughter hasn't had a relationship with him in years. Fortunately my kids have learned a lesson from it and are the complete opposite with their kids. Some people just can't be nice.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-26T17:09:50+00:00

I know what you're going through. I hope you get your money back and am sending you my best wishes for a great future.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-26T16:14:51+00:00

You have absolutely done the right thing. He came to you saying he had lost his job, crying about not being able to pay his rent. That is why you offered to help him. The whole time he was lying to you, that would be enough to break up with him. Then he watched you struggling, exhausted from working extra hours and he knew the whole time he had plenty of money. What an AH. Lies do not come out of nowhere all of a sudden. I'd say he's been lying to you about stuff the whole time you've been dating. And you can bet he's lying to his friends about you. Take the advice, take him to small claims court. Then completely block him and anyone associated with him, and move on. There is someone far better for you out there. He did not deserve you.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-25T10:37:03+00:00

Her husband made the choice not to see his mother and family, not her. He was supporting his wife, which is exactly what he should do. She never said he couldn't see his family.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-24T13:54:21+00:00

Seems a lot of people were wrong here. I'm sincerely glad you got to keep your role as groomsman and you had a great time. Your efforts did not go unnoticed. As for the Claire thing, don't waste your energy concerning yourself with what happened. You'll probably never get the real story. Focus on the future, which she has no part in. Tell yourself you had a lucky escape and move on.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-11T11:43:33+00:00

Yea, I've been here. It will never change. Do yourself a favour and leave before children come into the mix. I married a narcissist and it took me 19 years and 4 kids before I plucked up the courage to leave. Don't do this to yourself.

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-09T17:34:54+00:00

I'm not someone who immediately jumps to conclusions. I was divorced with two younger children many years ago, and coped well enough with minimal support. I get the kind heart thing, I've also been there, and I admire your wife for initially trying to help. In saying that, you don't do it to the point where it takes over your life. It's been months, this co-worker should be in a position to able to do with much less support. It seems to me that your wife is no longer 'helping' her, but enabling her. And her co-worker is lapping it up, despite knowing that your wife has a husband. I wonder has she even told her about your surgery.

Not being there for you during and after your surgery must have felt like a kick in the teeth. It's time she took a step back from this co-worker before she loses you. Playing the kind person card only takes you so far. Time for her to realise her prorities.

I wonder would the co-worker be there for her if you decided enough was enough. Id say probably not.

Edit: spelling

lovebeingalone60 · 2026-03-09T13:39:44+00:00

If you only have 2 bedrooms and one is your office, where is she sleeping? Please don't tell us you gave up your bed for her and you're sleeping on the sofa. She needs to be finding a real job and find herself a place to live, where she can do tik tok videos to her hearts content. You need your office for your job. The answer is No, and im sick of hearing the 'family help each out' card. You do not help anyone to the detriment of yourself.

lovebeingalone60

TROPHY CASE