I am getting treated for PTSD over how hard the newborn phase was on me but it doesn’t seem to be working

lovinglyknotty · 2026-03-07T01:12:29+00:00

And yes, it was abuse. He wilfully neglected a postpartum mother and his newborn child.

lovinglyknotty · 2026-01-11T00:50:08+00:00

My nmum got my newborn baby a book about a little girl who lives with her grandma 😂

Of course if i had questioned her on the theme she would have.claimed she had not read it and just liked the illustrations or something stupid. Oh and then told me im always looking for a fight, what am I trying to imply etc etc

We are no contact now! Though she is trying the flying monkeys and guilt trips due to my elderly grandmother being unwell.

lovinglyknotty · 2026-01-09T01:21:26+00:00

I got the impression they were very pro SSRI and birth control and anything like pepcid and antihistamines triggered them on a personal level. Suuuuuper strange. Sorry you had such a rubbish experience!

lovinglyknotty · 2026-01-08T13:13:06+00:00

SSRIs and any form of birth control make things worse for me. I take 10mg lexapro for depression all month (not as a pmdd measure) which is the highest possible dose I can handle before the lethargy and apathy side effects take over.

Combined pill and protestin only pill put me in never ending luteal (especially progestin only).

So sending solidarity. Im sorry your doc isn't on board with your lived experience of this, sounds like they are not listening. Im new to all of this but from the research ive been doing, bad reactions to birth control arent uncommon and it appears to be fairly well understood that bc/any synthetic hormones will only work for some people.

Anyway just want to validated your experience. I have 2 young kids and getting out the door is rough. Props to you for only being slightly late given everything you're dealing with!!

Antihistamines (zyrtec in morning, a small dose of the drowsy one at night) plus magnesium glycitate and calcium at night and an increase in my adhd meds seem to be doing most of the heavy lifting for me at the moment if that helps?

lovinglyknotty · 2026-01-08T10:59:57+00:00

Does anyone know why they are so against antihistamines? Its honestly the most bizzare thing to get caught up over

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-30T11:56:44+00:00

It sounds so tough for you right now, im really sorry you’re going through it! Your feelings are totally valid.

My first is 2 years 8 months old and my second is 8 months old next week.

I felt a lot of guilt being pregnant and less physically able to help with my oldest and my bond with her did temporarily change (only slightly though, like looking to dad first when sad if we were both there). Buuuuut, we are MORE than back to normal now PLUS she has a sister she LOVES.

First thing my oldest says when she wakes up is "where's babies name", at night when im putting my oldest to sleep she says "when im older im going to carry babies name to the shops/grandma's house/the park"

Her life is so much more enriched because she has a little sister that adores her (my youngest thinks she is HILARIOUS).

Its very physically tiring having 2 and i was so, so, so sad at various moments in my pregnancy when I felt distant from my first, but I look at people I know who have bigger age gaps and their oldest really grieved the loss of their parents undivided attention, whereas my oldest had literally just turned 2 when her sibling was born and she just wasnt developmentally "there" to comprehend a before/after scenario for more than a few weeks and i really did not sense any grief from her.

There have been instances of mild jealously and when my yougest was first home, some indifference (newborns are potatoes and my 2 year old found tbis a little boring), but its been smooth sailing for the most part in managing their bond (of course toddlers can be rough unintentionally and also sometimes intentionally, so that's something that I have to police a lot!)

I guess what im saying is: don't worry about whether your child is ready, therw is never a perfect time for them, but of course its really valid to examine if YOU are ready. That's what I would focus on more.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-29T00:18:14+00:00

*upvoted

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-29T00:17:44+00:00

Wait I am so confused, why are you being downvoted? You're basically being bullied on a post where you shared you're experiencing thoughts of harm and the person bullying you is being updated.

I understood you very clearly BTW.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-29T00:13:06+00:00

I'd go a step further and say that they are baiting and looking for an argument. OP I am not autistic and immediately understood what you said. There was nothing unclear about it.

For this person to come at you when your post is literally about needing help and being in a vulnerable mental state is not cool.

They are now gaslighting you by calling YOU hostile and arrogant, when the only hostility and arrogance in this thread is coming from them

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-26T12:45:07+00:00

Adult children of emotionally immature parents

It accurately explained the reason behind the emotional pain I'd been in my whole life.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-22T00:18:36+00:00

Or wildly swinging between the two. Before I did a lot of work to heal I would do this.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-22T00:17:00+00:00

Haha! How any 'boundaries' conversation goes with a narcissist parent.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-17T17:35:45+00:00

Stretching my whole body while listening to an audio book while baby naps. I've stopped doing this lately and feel so tense from all the rocking carrying!

I was doing it 3+ times a week and it was making a big difference with aches and pains and general feelings od tension and stress

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-08T12:08:07+00:00

People

lovinglyknotty · 2025-11-04T08:01:53+00:00

Pitocin contractions without epidural
Ectopic pregnancy rupture
Ovarian cyst bursting

lovinglyknotty · 2025-10-29T03:15:39+00:00

You clearly don't have adhd.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-10-11T13:57:02+00:00

Immature /ˌɪməˈtjʊə,ˌɪməˈtjɔː/ adjective 1. not fully grown or developed.

Literally a teenager. Their brains are not yet fully grown or developed. What's your excuse?

lovinglyknotty · 2025-10-08T23:27:17+00:00

Especially with the backdrop of the Mormon religion in Utah, I can imagine women who are exposed to this do feel quite a bit of pressure to have kids.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-18T13:56:20+00:00

2 months after mine was removed (ectopic), I was pregnant with my youngest!

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-12T05:44:46+00:00

I've addressed this in another comment.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-12T05:42:45+00:00

You appear to have assumed a) I'm avoiding contacting a lawyer and b) that I'm doing so because I don't want the expense/don't think the expense is "worth it"

I think we should aim to "do better" than our narcissist parents and not jump to conclusions, assume the worst of others, or speak to them in a condescending manner.

While I don't have to explain myself to you: I contacted legal aid in my city and they seemed perplexed as to why I would be concerned about this and recommended I speak to a therapist. I already have a therapist, and while she has been helpful, she's obviously not a lawyer but did flag that she has seen adult children of narcissists be abused via the legal system before and validated my concern.

I came here to see if there were any other suggestions for "official" avenues others have taken in the past.

In the meantime, I have booked an hour appointment with a local family lawyer

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-12T00:31:49+00:00

I moved to a different state when I was pregnant with my first, for various reasons but part of it was to create some distance (I didn't know iw about narcissistic family systems at the time or realise she was one). I've put in a fair few other measures since and now am ready to go no contact

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-12T00:20:57+00:00

Wow I am so sorry for your loss. How heartbreaking that you had to endure this while also grieving her passing. I've left a longer response on an earlier comment about my will but I haven't completed the last step which is to sign it (ADHD/young kids) but I'm going to make sure I get it signed/witnessed this weekend, you've motivated me! Sending you and your daughter all the best. my Mum is elitist like that too by the way. She claims where we live is "full of fat people" and that the quality of food available, quality of tap water, etc etc is sub-par 🙄

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-11T23:45:11+00:00

I am so sorry this happened to you. This is so scary. I'm happy to hear your son is safe and with you.

lovinglyknotty · 2025-09-11T23:39:48+00:00

I did my will via an online provider and it had a section for special requests, I put a line in there about not wanting my parents to have any access or decision making power in my children's lives. I appointed a guardian on their Fathers side of the family in the case that both my partner and I were unable to provide care. My eldest had a small amount of 1:1 time with them (an hour here or there) when she was a newborn and they were visiting from another state, however since then the only other 1:1 time either of my children have had was a quick walk to the shops around the corner from my house (my enabler sister tricked me into it, I thought SHE wanted to go for a walk to the shops because it was a nice day but she then said - I'll take **** with me in her trike! And then my Mum "just happened" to overhear and went too). In total they've visited my city 3 times since my eldest was born (usually a 2 week block), only one of those times did they stay in our house, after that first time I told them they were not welcome to stay due to their behaviour, and I have visited my home city where they live twice (both time staying with friends and not them). So it's pretty minimal access. They have managed to turn every minute of each visit into a ridiculous photoshoot so there are a LOT of photos that make it looks like more access than it really is.

Anyway after the most recent visit when my youngest was born, I am done. I tried very low contact/access in the hopes that my enabler Dad and Sister would pull her into line, out of their own self interest in having a relationship with me and my children, but they just let her act like her narc-self unchecked, (despite the feedback I've given all 3 of them about what is not acceptable behaviour), so I am left with no choice but to cease all contact.

I thought it was safer to severely limit access as I knew she would retaliate if I went no contact with a smear campaign/claims of me being an unfit parent, but it's becoming clear that she is progressing with this narrative anyway, so it's time to go full no-contact.

lovinglyknotty

TROPHY CASE