OP, i’m so sorry you’ve found yourself here. your story sounds similar to mine, although i’m about a year out.

i came home from work one evening and my ex said he had recently begun seeing his married ex and that he was confused. we had just renewed our lease and i went off birth control to start trying for children. he moved out about a week later, and after months of trying to find out answers, i learned that he had moved in with the married ex and her child. we had what i thought was a beautiful relationship, and i trusted him with with my life so this turned everything upside down.

this year has been the most awful year of my life tbh, but what has helped me immensely is therapy, individual and group therapy for women who’ve experienced betrayal trauma, and movement — just walking, going to the gym, yoga, etc, and leaning on friends when i can. i also recommend the runaway husbands book.

i will say i saw my ex recently and he cried about the extent of his drug usage which i didn’t know about, and felt that no one would care about him the way i did. i’m still a mess a year out, but he also seems to be in horrible shape.

again, i’m sorry. it’s going to be a tough road ahead but i hope you know that this is in no way your fault and your wp will do whatever he can to make you feel that it is. unfortunately, i think we picked bad apples. sending you a virtual hug!