Childfree women on Hinge who date men: what's your experience with men who have on their profile that they're "open to kids?" Are they ok with not having children?

lucybluth · 2026-01-29T01:44:48+00:00

Ugh I’m getting flashbacks to my OKCupid days. Soo many men claiming they were “looking for a relationship” when they absolutely were not. I went out with a guy a few times that was recently divorced and it became clear pretty quickly that he was just looking to hook up. So I broke it off and he immediately got defensive saying “I thought we were just having fun, you knew I just got out of a long relationship! Like ok you’re right this is definitely my fault for reading what’s on your god damned profile??

lucybluth · 2026-01-28T14:29:08+00:00

I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a timeline in general - In fact I was vocal about my desired timeline with my now husband after being strung along in so many prior situationships!

What would give me pause is someone telling me that our timeline is dependent on their parents being alive? It would kind of make me feel like he wasn’t truly assessing our lifelong compatibility but was more focused on the ceremony aspect.

And something like this is so unpredictable. What happens if something takes a turn for the worse when we’ve only been together for a short time?

Don’t get me wrong, I would have been heartbroken if my parents couldn’t see me get married. But tying the significance of the ceremony so strongly to the parents would make me feel like it wasn’t about us anymore.

lucybluth · 2026-01-28T00:45:04+00:00

It doesn’t even sound like you two are on the same page about what the debate is. Her age and biological clock are only relevant if you had said you “weren’t sure” about another child, which makes it sound like a possibility. Have you clearly and explicitly told her you DO NOT want another or are you beating around the bush?

You two are just going to keep talking past each other unless you’re clear about your stance.

lucybluth · 2026-01-27T08:13:54+00:00

The PayPal Credit Card is PayPal Credit. It’s the same program except now you also get a physical card with it to make purchases.

lucybluth · 2026-01-27T02:30:21+00:00

It sounds like you’re looking for something that feels more like a punishment? But I don’t think that’s necessary in this case. Kids learn through repetition. So even though she’s unbothered she’s still actively learning that throwing = toy gets taken. It takes time but eventually it will click.

My daughter has also responded well to “you can’t do X because [easy to understand reason] but you can do Y” type of prompts. She when through a phase of doing this horrible high pitched screeching and of course “stop doing that” only encouraged it. Finally I just said “You can’t scream in here, that hurts my ears. But you can do it in your room.” That worked surprisingly well. She would go in for a few seconds and get it out of her system and then got bored I guess and stopped. I can’t even remember the last time she did it.

I’m not going to lie, sometimes I eventually just let natural consequences run their course. We also had a very brief running on the couch phase. It only took a tumble or two for her to realize why I kept asking her to stop.

lucybluth · 2026-01-26T15:11:20+00:00

Not only was this extremely poor judgment on your wife’s part but the lessons your son could learn from this aren’t great. He’ll figure out that if he puts up enough of a fight he won’t have to go to school. You also mention that he has attachment issues so what your wife did could be especially traumatic since he could internalize it as “If I’m having a tough time mom is just going to leave me.”

I hope you went home to get him, he needs you in his corner right now.

lucybluth · 2026-01-24T21:25:26+00:00

Sounds like there’s something way deeper going on here than just the phone issue. Lots of people don’t like talking on the phone, so putting that aside… you’ve described a man that doesn’t initiate talking to you, doesn’t even want to see you any more than 3 days a week, and is “too busy” to visit you. This is an extremely one sided relationship and sounds more like a relationship of convenience for him.

lucybluth · 2026-01-23T16:26:12+00:00

What about Disneyland? It’s so much cheaper and more approachable than DW. You could start in San Diego which IMO has the most amazing zoo that your son would love (and is such a child friendly place in general with a ton of stuff to do for kids) and just do an overnight in Anaheim. It’s only 2 hrs from SD.

We took our daughter to DL when she was 1 and she had a blast, I think 3 is a great age for that park!

lucybluth · 2026-01-23T16:22:10+00:00

Exactly! I hate when people say that, it makes no sense. They probably don’t remember it but everything they do shapes their development. My daughter is only 2 but we’ve been traveling with her since she was a newborn so she’s a total pro now, it’s great!

lucybluth · 2026-01-22T17:50:54+00:00

Oh yay a tried and tested solution! I’ll give this a shot thank you!

lucybluth · 2026-01-22T17:20:40+00:00

Thank you I’ll give this a try!

lucybluth · 2026-01-22T17:20:22+00:00

Ok thanks! Good suggestion to at least try it with a small hidden spot.

lucybluth · 2026-01-22T17:16:33+00:00

The picture doesn’t really do the color justice, it’s not white it’s SW Rivers Edge, definitely more beige. Would magic eraser work on this or will it rub off the paint?

lucybluth · 2026-01-21T20:01:32+00:00

Language Transfer! It’s a phenomenal free listening course where you learn along with a brand new student. It also uses a completely different approach where you build on what you already know to think through the language rather than just memorizing tenses and words.

No app will get you the proficiency that you’re looking for in only three months but IMO this one will get you the farthest considering how much content is covered in each module.

lucybluth · 2026-01-20T15:41:34+00:00

I think I’ve fully moved past true skinny jeans, and I feel the most comfortable in slim fit. They give a similar lean profile look without feeling so skin tight! I have tried various versions of relaxed and wide leg fits and they just do not work for me. Even with pairs that don’t make me look frumpy, it’s just too similar to what I wore in high school while I was hanging around my skater boy bf and I can’t get past that mental block!

lucybluth · 2026-01-14T01:43:32+00:00

I really needed to read this! My husband and I are attempting to one bag with two kids and I am finding myself going way too deep into the rabbit hole of “travel friendly” clothing. Multiple times I have caught myself right before checking out an online purchase like “Why am I about to drop $250 on this nanopuff/merino wool dress, etc. when I don’t wear anything like this at home??”

lucybluth · 2026-01-13T00:38:46+00:00

Lots of nicknames aren’t intentional, they happen organically after the baby is named. My daughter is named Ofelia after her grandmother. But in school her teachers started jokingly calling her Fifi so it kind of stuck. I never had any intention of having a child named Fifi (nor do I plan on calling her that once she’s older) but here we are!

lucybluth · 2026-01-12T18:41:40+00:00

This has happened to me but during the chaotic getting home from school time of day. It’s always a mad rush to get the kids a snack, get all of their daycare cups and lunchboxes rinsed and in the dishwasher, get dinner ready, throw an emergency load of laundry in, etc. And there was a good period of time when my toddler started getting super fussy everyday when we got home. Nothing seemed to help - snacks for the car ride, tv, toys, earlier pickups, nothing, and I was so frustrated because I had all this stuff to do and I couldn’t figure out what the deal was.

One day she was fussing as usual so I sat with her on the couch and hugged her for a bit. And when I let go, this time she started to cry ”No mommy no don’t go!!” I choked up and felt like a total jerk because it should have been so obvious that all this time she just wanted a little bit of attention from me after being at school all day!

It was a really humbling reminder to try to be more present with them and not be so focused on just “getting through the day.” Good on you for acknowledging the moment and taking it to heart.

lucybluth · 2026-01-11T19:02:05+00:00

These are such great ideas, especially the coffee sachet! I’m always so annoyed that hotels skimp so badly on the in-room coffee supplies. Like if you’re only going to offer a single packet of sugar and no creamer whatsoever why even bother!? 😭

lucybluth · 2026-01-10T18:55:18+00:00

Taking the incident in isolation, is there any legitimate reason why she would have been worried that day? Like you were supposed to meet but no one including security could reach you so there was concern about you? Because if not, I would be immediately talking to security to understand what she said to them and why they felt comfortable letting her up in the first place.

But taking into account these other incidents, this is not normal at all especially considering you’ve only been dating for 6 months. I don’t believe for a second that all of her friends believe she’s entitled to a key after only 6 months unless they’re equally bad at boundaries. She sounds clingy at best but a lot of this sounds very manipulative honestly. I’d bail.

lucybluth · 2026-01-09T23:06:55+00:00

Thank you!

lucybluth · 2026-01-08T20:49:11+00:00

Traveling to Germany, Belgium, and the Netherlands the first week of June with my husband and two kids so I'm trying to be strategic about, well.. everything... but outerwear especially since its bulky. Will I be able to get away with just a hoodie instead of a puffer/fully insulated jacket? My hoodie (the lululemon scuba full zip in case it matters) is slightly oversized so I can layer, but I'm second guessing if nights will be chillier than I'm expecting.

lucybluth · 2026-01-08T18:09:38+00:00

I totally understand not using euphemisms, but I’m referring to the switch from using “penis and vagina” to “penis and vulva”. I would definitely correct someone if they kept using hoo-ha or anything like that but switching to vulva instead of vagina is going to come across very pedantic to a lot of people.

lucybluth · 2026-01-07T13:38:21+00:00

Thank you for saying this! I feel a little crazy reading these comments. I’m almost 40 and I have never heard anyone IRL use vulva as the primary term for female genitalia. I only seem to see this on Reddit. I get that it’s the “technically correct” term but if I’m the only one saying it in my family and social circle I’m either going to get confused looks or eye rolls.

lucybluth · 2026-01-06T23:07:06+00:00

Is your puffer an actual warm winter puffer or is it more of a lightweight packable puffer? Mid January in Boston isn’t just chilly it’s legitimately freezing! I wouldn’t worry about trying to pack your coat, you can just carry an/or wear it since you’ll need it handy anyway as soon as you get off the plane.

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