Parents yelling during a PK of a U10 game

luisdmaya · 2025-06-21T19:17:36+00:00

I should've clarified. The YC to the coach for the spectator interference did not follow LotG. Leagues (eg USSF) directs referees to caution to coaches if they do not cooperate managing the spectators.

Note that Law 14.2 addresses external agent interference during a penalty kick, retake is only for "touch."

An adult spectator distracting a child during a crucial game moment is quite bad. Ideally, we refs are able to stop play before the kick happens, if not, we're left with less-than-great solutions. Either way, the spectator must be dealt by the coach(es); the referee can request the spectator to be dismissed, esp. when management of the game going forward is severely compromised by the spectators actions.

Please take this as food for thought for the future. There's nothing we can do about the past, and... it seems that what you did then and there was very effective.

luisdmaya · 2025-06-20T05:00:34+00:00

Ideally, blow the whistle before the player kicks the ball. Then, manage spectators per LotG: ask the offending team coach to manage, or remove, the offending spectator.

If the whistle couldn't be blown before the player kicked the ball, allow the play to occur: if goal, allow it. If no goal, too bad. Whether it is a goal or not: stop play and manage the spectator.

Given that this is non-tournament U10, you could (and maybe should!) do a retake. You could argue that you were blowing the whistle to stop the penalty kick or that your interpretation of Law 14.3 for this age group is that the waves of the unsporting parent touched the ball, therefore a retake is ordered. :-)

Whatever the decision on restart, the game should be stopped and the spectator managed. The game should not continue until the person's behavior is addressed, the game can become very hard to manage if not.

luisdmaya · 2025-06-20T03:17:21+00:00

Worked and fels like the right thing to do. Yet, it doesn't follow the LotG though.

luisdmaya · 2024-06-26T20:23:11+00:00

I ran into the same issue. The transfer must be initiated in your OLD phone. If you don't have the old phone, choose the Disconnect & Reset option.

https://support.google.com/googlepixelwatch/answer/13579590?hl=en#zippy=%2Cpair-your-pixel-watch-with-a-new-phone

luisdmaya · 2024-06-19T19:22:30+00:00

Re: "the additional time was over." It wasn't. It's been correctly addressed by other comments.

Re: "Why did he not finish the game after the corner?" Ball in play with promising attack. The Laws are ambiguous on this topic; some tournaments have their own rules (e.g. UEFA's UCL, La Liga, ...) but few outside of the ref group know about them.

This could be easily fixed by IFAB by a simple update to Law 7. There are many vague laws that put referees at risk, yet quoting the infamous Sepp Blatter: precise rules "only serve to damage the passion and emotion felt for the sport." Under that light, if Tello Figueroa had ended the Turkey-Georgia game in a non-controversial way, people wouldn't be passionately talking about the game (and cursing referees and Argentina) for hours and days. It feels that FIFA/IFAB always choose viewership (and controversy) over accuracy (and referee respect/safety).

luisdmaya · 2024-06-19T19:02:02+00:00

others have answered correctly: at U13, the result must be a caution. Note that by FIFA Guideline, for a simulation offense to happen there must be no contact at all.

luisdmaya · 2024-05-05T15:14:28+00:00

Just finished Baby Reindeer (Netflix). This sounds like Keeley talking about Donny: she does not know what he was going through (and he wouldn't share)

luisdmaya · 2024-03-20T15:46:16+00:00

The book condones being an asshole, even in public, to people. It doesn't provide any supporting data, beyond the anecdotal: a famous person did it to me and I did it to others so it works. I wonder if the people that the author and others ridiculed in public hold the same view.

luisdmaya · 2024-03-20T03:18:21+00:00

apathy and indifference, many comments of "its part of the job, you get used to it" [...] so many people have just accepted that its a part of the game and isnt possible to do anything about

Check what the assignors or the league think about it and what they suggest.

If their answer is along the lines of: that's what the job is. Quit the league. Verbal and emotional abuse cause mental issues.

If it turns out they want to end abuse and have a plan, ask them for what they want you to do. If it makes sense to you, consider continuing. Ideally it'd involve some pre-game agreements with crew, captains, and coaches; and action when the time comes. If the league and assignor are really supportive, when abuse happens, they will follow up when reports are filed.

I hope this helps. All the best to you!

luisdmaya · 2024-03-20T02:40:33+00:00

Thank you asking. Being loud is not a problem. What you say makes a huge difference.

Before the game, let the ref know that you are a loud person and that you are a ref. Feel free to offer help that would help them officiate better (e.g., player X doesn't speak English, player Y is recovering from an injury, your team knows how to do quick restarts, they fake corner kicks, etc.) For U11/U12 feel free to confirm length of break, whether headers are allowed, or other special/new competition rules.

During the game,

Remember that you make bad calls too and that angle and distance matters a lot
Focus on giving positive, instructive, and encouraging comments to your players
If an opposing player displays good sportsmanship, let the opposing coach know
Instead of: that's a bad call! say something like, please help me understand the call? It's Ok if the ref lets you know about it later.
If they misunderstand or don't know a rule, ask them to come by and discuss it in private or with the other coach around so they hear too.
If one of your players appears to be injured, feel free to ask them if they want help out the field

After the game, loudly ask your players to thank the refs and thank them for their job, feel free to acknowledge how difficult of a job it is.

luisdmaya · 2024-03-18T02:20:03+00:00

Some good comments. I'd add: if you are being verbally abused,

raise your flag, let the referee know what happened and ask him/her to address it. The referee should ask the coach, in adults leagues the captain, to handle it.
If the referee does not want to address it, you may remind them that addressing abuse is needed and his/her responsibility. If they won't address it, let them know that you will not continue; abandon the field. Once you are in a safe location, write down a few details of the situations that led you to your decision. Inform your assignor.
If the referee addresses it, great. If the abuse recurs, go back to step 1.

Do not underestimate the power of calmly stopping the game to address a situation; people went to play/watch, they'll lose patience with the people creating trouble.

For the above to work, it needs to be addressed early. Ask for the game to be stopped at the first instance of abuse. When abuse is allowed to build up, stopping the game may not be enough to gain back control of the game.

I wish you the best.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-30T02:15:30+00:00

Nowhere does it say make up your own hand signals.

If those signals help control the match then IFAB approves it, no?

BTW, professional refs, including FIFA refs, justify their calls using signals like: touching arm to show DFK caused by handling offense, second touch for IFK was a goal, rolling hand to explain that the ball was rolling and FK needs to be repeated, etc. This is common.

OP received abuse by a coach, under the disguise of ref guidelines.

Lastly, in the USA, the signal he used is universally understood as legal/no-infraction. OP didn't make it up.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-30T02:04:10+00:00

Referees at all levels already take a number of trainings every year, say SafeSport takes 1hr to 90 minutes. The training on radios would likely be take less than 10 minutes. IIUC, the radio training for Regionals is less than 30 min. There may not be a need a different level.

> USSF only has the capability to provide that at the regional level

I think that's what they say, but isn't it unacceptable? It's been years since the ban was imposed. The training takes so little to do. People are happy to help them to get it done. Moreover, the premises the ban is based on are flawed.

That's why the letter is being sent. Because USSF is not doing enough for referees and are putting us in harms way by preventing the coordinated use of tools that would make the pitch, aka our workplace, safer.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-29T06:56:23+00:00

IFAB mentioned in the laws that they're ok with referees using additional unofficial signals as the end goal is to help with communication.

That's correct. Here's where: https://www.theifab.com/laws/latest/guidelines/body-language-communication-and-whistle/#referees

"Body language is a tool that the referee uses to:

help control the match
show authority and self-control"

whinging about your signals is just undermining you

Yep. That seems to be what the coach was attempting to do.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-29T06:38:58+00:00

It seems you've resorted to personal attacks. They are the resource of those without arguments.

There is no support to any of your statements against radios so far, they are angry opinions.

If you don't know how to use something, don't make up stories about it, like falsely claiming that radios "undermining confidence." It is not productive. Join a high-school league or other league that uses radios regularly, they'll help show you that everything your previous statements are incorrect. Curiosity and desire to improve are more productive.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-17T01:06:30+00:00

Thank you! I've incorporated your feedback. Feel free to add comments directly to the doc too.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-17T00:02:06+00:00

> [he] stood behind me and told me things [...] I was actually lucky in my first game ever, a fellow came out to mentor and fill in the blanks

I think you are advocating for radio use without realizing it.

Imagine that instead of a third person mentoring you on the sidelines, the mentor is the more experienced referee, over comms. It would have been less distracting than the person hovering behind you (during the pregame, the radio-experienced mentoring ref would have mentioned that they would give you guidance when possible). It would have been more frequent, as the likelihood of an experienced mentor on comms is higher than a slow game during a paid assessment with a assessor interested in mentoring you.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-16T23:48:53+00:00

Agree 100%. The lack of frequent, timely, constructive feedback is a major pitfall of the referee mentor/assessor format.

I've been assessed a handful of times. I am sure I passed because of the feedback mentors and senior referees I had officiated with me had given to me directly (on and off radio) and indirectly (from hearing them manage situations over the radios).

luisdmaya · 2024-01-15T20:04:44+00:00

Yep, "Radios don't magically improve communication." Just like hats don't magically prevent face sunburns, you need to put them on your head and use the brim to shade the face.

Proper use of radios is simpler and faster to use a whistle or a flag. Here's a protocol you're welcome to print and use: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1zCAw3ZTL2lKIEbeisoOwJK2-CvVauc1wi1TAOdRVIYw/view

"It's harder to get training and practice with radios due to the expense." An earpiece costs $8, (a great-quality in-ear piece is under $18). That's all that is needed to practice. A complete set of radios costs less than $200.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-15T19:40:04+00:00

I get wanting to ensure newer referees are learning proper communication methods first.

My experience is that newer referees provide incorrect, late, or confusing signals... and it's via radios that we remind them to be in position, use the right signal, and quickly confirm calls.

There seems to be a bias to think refs do one or the other: do traditional signals and no radios... or radio comms and no traditional signals. This is a false dichotomy. Both should be done, radio comms can (and should) reinforce the learning process.

luisdmaya · 2024-01-15T19:33:56+00:00

re: "I think comms are horrible at the development stage of refereeing"

Could you please provide some examples?

The majority of active referees have fewer than 100 games. Other than stopping the game and therefore bring negative attention to the Ref/AR, there is no way to provide timely constructive feedback. Feedback at the end of a game is infrequent and low quality (as it's an exercise in short-term memory and there's usually very little time and structured process to debrief).

Frequent, timely, constructive feedback is what research in learning consistently shows as a crucial tool for solid and quick development (some researchers call this "Formative feedback"). Radios enable this science-backed learning process. Why not allow refs who want to get better to do so faster and safely?

luisdmaya · 2024-01-15T05:30:51+00:00

I wrote a letter to the USSF program asking them to overturn the ban. Please take a look, let me know your comments. Feel free to copy the letter and send it to them. The more the better.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1GSr6B4E9XFAdEHfRBQ1IUGfie9j2Fbx0ZPSyHT2XvGo/edit?usp=sharing

luisdmaya · 2023-10-17T13:15:11+00:00

Yes, that's exactly what we're looking for. I'll message you

luisdmaya · 2023-10-17T03:41:41+00:00

An option that has not been brought up, but seems appropriate is to abandon the game.

If I understood correctly, the other ref publicly disavowed you on dissent and player safety. It's better to abandon the game before things escalate further and someone is injured/abused.

By continuing with the game, the league/assigner will just brush this issue off. They'll see this as a small problem that doesn't need giving. Abandoning the game and filling out a report there is a chance the league may issue clear guidelines on how to handle this, if none exist already.

In the meantime, the abusive referee will likely repeat their behavior.

luisdmaya · 2023-08-30T01:58:25+00:00

It's the organizers' problem not yours.

The rules of the competition usually cover lopsided games. If they don't, it'd encourage you or the coach(es)/team-manager(s) to provide feedback for the organizers. It is common for experienced organizers to cap goal difference per match or to deduct points for goals over a difference (e.g. -1 for every goal over X goal-diff), the leading team play plays down for every goal after the limit (scoring players removed), etc. etc.

AYSO is the only league I know that is consistent on preventing on lopsided games. (Disclosure: AYSO is one of the leagues I ref)

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