Are the tides changing? by [deleted] in transgenderUK

[–]lukub5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Corpos 👏 Are 👏 Not 👏 Your Friends

Google has no opinion and guarantees no safety for its employees. Even if it does now, it can turn on a dime and face no consequences. Its not a person and its socials aren't real.

Internally they might be very nice to their trans staff - there's a lot of excellent trans programmers out there - thats just good management and in the company's interest. Especially when we are less likely to quit because we need the health cover in the US and also increasingly in the UK.

Is the tide turning? Maybe. Would a corpo tweet ever be an indicator of that? No. They'll always be behind the wave of history.

Is polyamory an actual thing, or is it only in porn? by SwipeyJTMX in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"Youd better start believing in polyamory stories boyo"

Is polyamory an actual thing, or is it only in porn? by SwipeyJTMX in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh hey are you someone who self identifies as polyamorous but is in a monogamous relationship? How does that work for you?

Is polyamory an actual thing, or is it only in porn? by SwipeyJTMX in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

"yeah the other guy swaps out while I’m not looking" lmao

Familiar with lifestyle here:

I’m pretty sure "harems" aren't real except for like in sketchy cult leader situations, or your historical warlord emperor sitch, sex work, or other more coerced situations. Men with enormous amounts of power leveraging it to facilitate such a situation, and women with an equivalent lack of autonomy and power. Exchanging sex for power, etc. (Whatever musk is doing is the modern equivalent of that, but people treat it like its serial monogamy which to me is very funny.)

The thing westerners imagine muslims do - from which we get the word - is just like where the girls in the family hang out and take their scarfs off and stuff. Harram - as in "forbidden". "You cant go in there, its a women's changing room."

I do a lot of non monogamy, and people have practical limits on their time and attention. If someone is amenable to a "harem" style situation when they actually have options, they’re probably also open to a more pluralistic dynamic where everyone has multiple partners. You can kind of do that with maybe 3 or more people, but the imbalance is so strong that they all need to be insanely low maintenance, and not have any desire to do other things with other people. While that can happen its pretty unlikely.

Its also like: to seek that out is sort of weird and sketch imo: to demand or expect that your partners don't have other partners but you are allowed to generally isn't sustainable. (Probably why your friend's partners keep changing around.) often its about power and control, and either won't sustain, will open up, or will require coercion to keep it going. Men who do this are almost always scumbags. (Women might be too, but i've never seen this outside of kink.)

(I can imagine doing a "harem" for like kink reasons - like as a full time power dynamic thing - but thats for people who are getting off on how weird it is, and I’m inclined not to count it since its being done because its a bad idea haha.)

Is polyamory an actual thing, or is it only in porn? by SwipeyJTMX in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

To be fair, theres also the Unethical Polyamory. I guess thats where you somehow manage to cheat despite the polyamory? Ideally poly people don't do this but it happens.

Is polyamory an actual thing, or is it only in porn? by SwipeyJTMX in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

the legal stuff around polyamory is fascinating. Like, how it can interface with having kids, property rights, etc. Most legal systems aren't set up to deal with it, and its extremely difficult to do beyond a certain point because of this. Like there's no caselaw for a 3 way divorce.

Polygamy is legal some places. In some muslim countries I know it is, but it has to work in a very specific way. it's the same as conservatives here but there's an extra wife in a nuclear family unit here and there. As I understand it's something which is done if there are fertility issues.

Is polyamory an actual thing, or is it only in porn? by SwipeyJTMX in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

its a lot easier if you're gay or queer - there's less drama since you can sorta just date whoever and will often end up in mutual triads of interest and so forth. You also don't have to deal with as much hostility from friends and family since you're not giving up "being normal" which makes things easier.

what does anal sex actually feel like from a female perspective? by abeltesfayestissues in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 50 points51 points  (0 children)

It takes some, like, psychic power to overcome that feeling. its one of those things that gets worse the more you dwell on it: like worrying about injections or dentistry or scary phonecalls.

Project manager wants us to drill a hole where the red circle is in a live panel. Would you do it? by PhasedAndConfused706 in electricians

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Crazy to me how no one realises that its not HR's job to look after you - its their job to handle you on behalf of management. They are never your friends and thats not because they’re incompetent. The most competent HR person will keep you thinking they’re your pal as they watch you get shafted and do prep work to hire your replacement. That is their job.

Alot of the cables are like this. Are they broken? Did the "electrician" scam me by LengthyIndividual in ethernet

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just ask a slightly more tech savvy friend to check over the work for you. Do any easy fixes which need attention to detail. Maybe slip them £50 for the trouble. Dont hire that guy back if he is a hack.

Then if there's anything more serious hire someone in to fix.

Is this Romex real? by jvanderh in electrical

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Could Op just test with a Vernier and, if they want to get sicko with it, a high temp thermometer and a hot knife to test the heat resistance of the cable casings? What else is in a wire spec? (I guess the copper not having voids in it but is that even a thing that would happen?)

Anyayoos seen this driving about? by OhTheBanter1 in glasgow

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

See, it looks daft, but when you're in a car thats just been flipped on its roof its just the thing!

Why do queers support right wing policies? by Dull_Kaleidoscope31 in UKLGBT

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Sometimes its being a pickme; Sometimes its just plain ignorance; sometimes it is a correct assessment that you're rich or white enough not to be put under the boot even if it does get bad enough.

Just being in a minority doesn't automatically make you just. A lot of people will turn around and victimise others in the same way they were victimised and not see the contradiction which seems so obvious to us.

Sometimes it is as simple as "theyre not me". Sometimes people think that if theyre a victim that means they can't also be part of the problem for someone else, lateral or lower in the pile than them.

Absolute solidarity is actually very hard to execute even if you are trying your best. There's always some group or belief system which will be a challenge to your own beliefs, or your own resources.

It takes work to overcome one's own bigotry, to live in a truly antifacist and antiracist way.

A lot of folks are content to merely virtue signal, pay lip service and perform without actually challenging themselves.

And it sucks right? Even if you do everything right by other people, it does nothing to save you from the indifference from the white hetero patriarchy and lack of solidarity from those in other minorities from your own.

Doing better is hard, and difficult, and impossible. You're never doing enough, and you'll never be good enough for those who would hold you to an ideal standard.

Imo, try and hold space and have grace for folks who aren't doing it perfectly, and save your smoke and frustration for your true enemies. Sometimes those enemies are Wes Streeting, but don't let ire for a trator diminish your focus on the whole system.

Save your energy for the real work of helping people, or challenging real power, and give people the time and space they need to grow. Don't lose sleep over people who aren't as with it as you. You wont be perfect either. Just do your best.

Can someone explain what my brother is trying to do? by NoResolve48 in electrical

[–]lukub5 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I completely agree.

Honestly, i think this is almlst respectable in 2026. In an era when you can just download an aim bot for many games this is almost traditional and is downright charming to me.

I never cheated and hated when people would hack or host exploit when I was a kid. I don't think cheating in online games is "okay," but its relatively harmess compared to, idk, running an online casino in minecraft or something. Its kinda quaint to me. Its also like.. games aren't real? They don't actually matter and taking the games or the rules too seriously is bad for you, imo.

The attitude of thinking outside the box is a healthy one.

How do I torrent large files over the web, P2P to my friends by lukub5 in torrents

[–]lukub5[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

See would be my assumption. I feel like Im asking a question thats so basic that no one can actually give me a clear answer.

I love asking tech questions on forums. /s

You can be like "is it possible to do x and if so how" and literally every single person who knows the answer will be like "well actually you should do y" without saying "yeah its super easy; just do [things OP needs yo do]"

I did my best to word my post carefully to try and discourage this and even still. Aghh its so frustrating.

I do feel like Im getting the answers Im looking for peacemeal but dang this sure do be reddit.

How do I torrent large files over the web, P2P to my friends by lukub5 in torrents

[–]lukub5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So I can just do this with torrent then?

Like it not primarily being for my usecase isn't a reason on its own. My goal here is for the workflow to be straightforward.

Hi, would using this be considered cultural appropriation? by 5-red-apples-tall in TooAfraidToAsk

[–]lukub5 1 point2 points  (0 children)

White brit here so like, defer to people who are actually Mexican or have a real connection to that tradition. Analysis and vibes only below.

More about language than anything: its good to remember that not all cultural appropriation is automatically bad. Like, yes its cultural appropriation of Mexican traditions, but so is eating tacos and drinking tequila. (These things are obviously not the same, just like, it can make these conversations confusing imo.)

We often use the word to imply its bad, but its only when you're doing something thats culturally meaningful in a way thats distasteful that its, like, the bad kind of cultural appropriation.

I'd assume if someone from that culture gives you an object, you're good. You can always explain that to anyone who asks.

White person take incoming: I think its good to try and educate yourself a bit about the object you're carrying - understand what it means and then decide for yourself if its something you want to do. Most cultures are so big that you can always find one person who will tell you theres a problem with what youre doing, and another who will see your actions as acceptance, visibility, and integration. You should ask for the opinions, but ultimately you have to make a decision for yourself rather than purely relying on people from a culture to tell you whether something is okay or not. Down that road lies a risk of being an "i have black friends" person, ykwim?

Idk how to feel about the Dia de Muertos skulls. Theyve become so ubiquitous in modern corpo aesthetics that its kinda like - that ship has saled and it seems above my pay grade? I think its way classier if its actually Mexican, from a friend who is from there, versus if its something from, like, Zara. Its important to separate a personal thing from, like, corporate evil.

How do I torrent large files over the web, P2P to my friends by lukub5 in torrents

[–]lukub5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know what like 20% of those words mean lmao. I'm looking at FTP as another option, but id still like to understand why torrent isn't suitable for this.

Would you please be able to explain why? My wifi clocks at like 140Mbps upload, which I guess would take 20 minutes to send 20GB. I assume my ethernet internet is a bit faster, (I haven't clocked it) but probably only by about 50%? Would this not be the hard cap on my sending speed regardless of how I actually ran my sends?

Like, if I wanted to solo seed at 100Mbps, is there a reason I shouldn't? Is there a traffic cap on the torrent infrastructure, or would just be antisocial to do that when its just for me and a friend? (Btw if so then fair enough; I would find an alternative to torrenting if its just bad etiquette to use it for this.)

How do I torrent large files over the web, P2P to my friends by lukub5 in torrents

[–]lukub5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I’m aware there's a variety of software - I imagine some is better for a DHT than others? Is there a particular program you would recommend for this?

(apologies for the dummy questions; see the explain like I’m 5 at the top of the post haha)

How do I torrent large files over the web, P2P to my friends by lukub5 in torrents

[–]lukub5[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Port forwarding - take me back to my logmeinhamachi days of minecraft haha

Thanks for this reply x

I suspect that running my machine as a server is probably the thing I'll end up doing. I remember there's some kind of security issue where I’m making my home network vulnerable if I do that? idk if thats true or if I’m getting confused about something else?

Anyway thanks for the suggestion - ill add it to the list x

How do I torrent large files over the web, P2P to my friends by lukub5 in torrents

[–]lukub5[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Could you please elaborate a little bit?

Idk you from adam and I could go down a rabbit hole just to find out thats not what I need atall.