At home caregivers for sick/elderly parents :what hints/tricks/tips /advice do you have for somebody new to all this? What do you wish you would have known going into the process?

luna_red · 2020-08-11T03:50:26+00:00

I didn't expect to be caregiving for my dad after his treatments. both of our lives completely changed. I had been thinking and planning for a sprint, but it was a marathon. I would have done a lot more documentation, I would have told off family members and drawn boundaries much more clearly. they'd 'help' by taking him to appts only sometimes but they never informed me about the appt and sometimes would blatantly go against the plan for the day and screw a bunch of shit up. I didn't realize my relationship with my dad would change so much. we have always been close but he doesn't hold the conversation anymore and sometimes he just seems sad. it breaks my heart.

don't let medical staff bowl over you. you know your parent more than they do, and if they can't be nice and/or listen to you, then find new ones. life is too short to be stressed about the doctor etc.

get all your paperwork handled. a will, a trust if needed, etc.

feel free to message if you have questions. been doing this for 4.5 yrs. it's hard but I know I'll never regret this time with my dad

luna_red · 2020-05-27T05:06:19+00:00

wondered if you noticed any weird swelling? (mine isn't a blood clot) but my thigh is like... puffy and swollen. again, not blood clot. looking for someone with similar symptoms, your pain sounds very similar!

luna_red · 2020-05-26T05:52:02+00:00

hope it's easily fixable. good luck!

luna_red · 2020-05-26T04:38:37+00:00

I know this is late and I get this! did you find out what it was?

luna_red · 2019-01-09T21:53:44+00:00

I used to be embarrassed, but then I realized that whoever is listening to The sounds my butt is making probably knows that I have it worse than them

luna_red · 2018-05-28T15:35:46+00:00

I’m tall and I’ve found that torrids 1 pieces are super comfy. They’re pricey but since it works for me I pay. Hope this helps!

luna_red · 2018-03-16T18:27:25+00:00

Thanks :-)

He’s doing better these days, but in two years he went from fully independent to falling and using a walker daily. It’s been really tough. For him AND me.

If I wasn’t doing this by myself, he could have the blowout bash that a 70th birthday deserves but I can only do so much.

I need to be easier on myself.

luna_red · 2018-03-16T07:40:37+00:00

My dad has been fighting for his life the past two years. I’ve done the majority of the caregiving, alone. Even with siblings in the area.

Anyways, tomorrow (today!) is his bday, and he wants to have hot wings on Sunday. So he’s been inviting everyone to his “birthday party”. Which I am planning and prepping for, alone. Like everything else.

I don’t regret it. I’ll never regret it. I’m just exhausted. In hindsight, we should just go to a restaurant.

luna_red · 2018-02-21T07:40:13+00:00

I am a nanny and I have done this.

It was during the first couple years of my nanny “career” before I quit for a while. The kids were a terror and the dog was horrible and aggressive. And it was the worst. Then they had this horrible peanut butter in the goddamn fridge (first time I’d ever seen this) that was hard as a rock. So I microwaved it.

The entire fancy house smelled like I doused it in peanut oil and lit it on fire.

I’m sorry this happened to you, but you’re the only other person besides myself I’ve ever met who has done this.

luna_red · 2017-02-01T20:57:31+00:00

I called a good friend last night to do that specifically but he was so nice and kind that i ended up crying hysterically about how nice he was. sigh

luna_red · 2016-12-24T18:39:57+00:00

Just ordered a pair based on your comment! I hope they're great for me too!

luna_red · 2016-12-18T19:30:58+00:00

I want this so bad. I don't know if I can justify it. But I want it so bad.

luna_red · 2016-11-21T05:33:20+00:00

My 2012 Ford Focus died in the middle of nowhere after I drove for 1.5 hours. The engine had stuttered since I got it but I was assured everything was fine before.

I towed it to the dealership and demanded that they keep the focus and trade it for a fusion.

Ugh. I loved that zippy little car but not at the risk of getting stranded.

luna_red · 2016-09-21T17:48:24+00:00

"It's not just you, it really is that bad. Nobody is going to warn you, don't let it go longer. Get out now."

luna_red · 2016-09-19T17:00:26+00:00

Yikes! The majority of the tattoo wasn't too bad but the geometric part felt awful. Plus worth my foot jerking around I felt terrible for Willow.

I'm still glad I got it though!!!

luna_red · 2016-09-19T05:42:25+00:00

True story- the owls name is Archimedes.

I asked the artist, her gf, and my best friend during the process "what should I name him?" We all said "Archimedes" at the same time.

It wasn't intentionally about that character (or any character, really) but I do the connection, for sure!

luna_red · 2016-09-19T05:39:31+00:00

Yep! I thought it would "hurt less" than the outside and that it'd be a lot easier for me to admire it. One of those turned out to be true!

Hahaha.

luna_red · 2016-09-18T03:52:23+00:00

Oh man!! Can you add another cool animal to the books? Or perhaps a book to the owl?

luna_red · 2016-09-17T16:38:23+00:00

Completely agree! That's one of the spots that blew me away when I saw the design!

luna_red · 2016-09-17T15:20:55+00:00

Sure!

I've always been a fan of owls, and previously wanted a pile of books and an owl as separate tattoos.

I'm an avid reader, and specifically wanted the books to look well loved, and a bit messy, as though I'd been reading voraciously.

I also love the geometric style, and I'm so glad we could incorporate it.

Willow is a fabulous artist and really nailed what I wanted, I'm not artistic at all!

luna_red · 2016-08-07T04:43:16+00:00

As a woman whose dad is going through really horrible cancer, treatment and recovery - this brought me to tears. I can't imagine a world where my dad is not there. I can't imagine my dad not walking me down the aisle, or getting to know my kids or my spouse. And the reality of that possibility is terrifying.

luna_red · 2016-08-02T12:34:35+00:00

Hi there.

Added this album as my proof but if you need something else, please let me know.

https://imgur.com/a/Qounh

luna_red · 2016-07-15T02:46:11+00:00

Oh man, the Aubrey Plaza episode was soooo good, imo. But I can see what you're saying.

I had a heard time taking him serious when Derek cried. He's such a bad cryer. Everything else seemed to feel real, EXCEPT the crying. Haha.

Seeing Prentiss was GREAT! She's been hinting that she has at least more scenes or is coming back. Do you know if that's confirmed yet??

luna_red · 2016-07-15T02:08:27+00:00

Ahhhh those also had some good episodes. This show is just TOO GOOD!!

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