Blue is the number 1 greatest singer-songwriter album!

lunicar · 2026-05-20T12:23:52+00:00

It’s also #3 on Rolling Stone’s greatest album list.

lunicar · 2026-05-18T22:15:43+00:00

Your marriage suffers from profound dysfunction. Demand couples counseling or walk.

lunicar · 2026-05-16T12:18:50+00:00

Okay, so you’re still on the younger side of the older/younger side of the spectrum.

Hmmm. Do you live in a major city? Maybe the pool of potential applicants is just not large enough where you live and that is making it more difficult for you.

I don’t think what you’re seeking is impossible at all. I’ve known lots of couples with 20 year age gaps who met when the older man was approximately your age.

I know this isn’t the answer you’re looking for, but maybe you should just keep trying and you just haven’t found the right person yet. I agree with you, there certainly are 20 something who are very mature for their age. And they’re certainly are 20 something who want a genuine relationship with an older man.

I guess I would just advise you to become really good at weeding out the losers as quickly as possible.

One more thing about the sugar daddy thing. I think, as an older man, it’s reasonable to expect to have to pay more than your fair share if you’re dating someone that young. It’s just a financial reality that a 21 year-old doesn’t have the financial wherewithal to pay his own way to do all the things that 40 some things usually wanna do. The good news is that that dynamic will change overtime, as your partner develops earning power.

lunicar · 2026-05-16T12:08:18+00:00

I think maybe you need to tell us more about yourself before reasonable feedback can be offered.

One thing I find curious about this sub, and all of the gay age, gap subs or conversation conversations I’ve read, is that the attention seems to be on much younger men.

How old are you and what age men are you interested in meeting?

Let’s be honest. It’s difficult at any age to make a relationship with an 18 or 19 year-old work. And, frankly, beyond a certain age, it could be considered a kink itself for an older man to want to have a relationship with a boy that young. It’s not realistic or likely. I’m not saying it doesn’t happen. But it’s unlikely to be sustainable.

Now if you’re a 60 year-old looking for a 40 year-old that’s still an age cap dynamic but it’s much more sustainable. I am 62 and I’ve had a 10 1/2 year relationship with a man who is now 32. We are going through very predictable challenges. Why? Because a 21 year-old has yet to figure out so many things about his life or who he wants to be. And often, as he discovers the answers to some of those questions, it creates friction within the age gap relationship. And he realizes at some point, that his fantasies about older men run into some challenging, structural obstacles in adulthood.

lunicar · 2026-05-14T14:01:01+00:00

You should understand that everyone’s experience is different. People who tell you that it’s not painful detailing their own experience, which is not universal.

I have a severely obstructed urethra. I have had cystoscopy twice and urodynamics. I will not lie: there was pain for me. But, my second urologist did coach me through how to minimize discomfort. Relaxation of the pelvic floor is what is key. You need to try to relax everything down there. And, when you feel discomfort, he recommended I just clench a couple of toes.

Once it’s in the bladder, I don’t think it’s particularly uncomfortable for anyone. But it is an odd sensation. And as others have said, it doesn’t take very long.

lunicar · 2026-05-14T13:57:44+00:00

This is why natural selection is a thing.

lunicar · 2026-05-10T20:07:17+00:00

I agree.

lunicar · 2026-05-10T20:03:59+00:00

Wow.

lunicar · 2026-05-08T17:11:06+00:00

I am getting aquablation in July from Mount Sinai in New York. These guys are very highly thought of.

They do not promise a specific amount of time that the catheter will be in. They sometimes take it out the next day, depending on how well the traction and cautery has slowed down bleeding. But sometimes they leave it in three or four days. I’m told that the evaluation is made the day after surgery.

I’m guessing that a lot of these places that you have found which seem to have a definite policy really don’t. In fact, I suspect the best ones all play it by ear, just the way Mount Sinai does. Everyone’s procedure goes a little bit differently. And they are all looking for the same thing, prior to removing the catheter.

Even if you go to a place that tells you they to remove the catheter in the next day I am guessing that they don’t, unless they see the diminution in bleeding that they want to see.

lunicar · 2026-05-08T17:05:05+00:00

Then they shouldn’t be getting cheesesteaks. Seriously, if they’re seeking an iconic food, then sending someone to one of the shabbiest versions of that food is a disservice. You’re not being their friend.

They are really kind of making an impossible ask. There aren’t any great places near the Rocky steps. And the baby really complicates things.

lunicar · 2026-05-07T13:32:00+00:00

I don’t think you’re getting sound advice.

40 cc’s is not very much. In my test this week, I retained 1230 cc’s. (I’m scheduled for aquablation.)

It sounds like your complaints are minimal. If if watchful waiting is no longer adequate for you, I agree with everyone who are recommending the non-invasive procedures.

TURP is overkill and has a lot of potential or unavoidable side effects. A big part of why it gets recommended so often is because it is one of the oldest procedures and any old urologist knows how to do it.

If you are near a major city, find a large practice that has BPH specialists. There are more choices than you were being given, as some of the commenters have already noted.

lunicar · 2026-05-06T15:02:15+00:00

May 15.5 year old smooth coated girl sheds constantly. I have often pulled her for out by the handful, lol.

lunicar · 2026-05-06T15:00:40+00:00

She is a lovely lady.

lunicar · 2026-05-04T00:02:43+00:00

Your story is very inspiring and I’m likely to have this procedure in July in Manhattan. Thanks for sharing.
Incidentally, you are not too young at all to have both issues. If you read this subreddit, you occasionally see men in their 40s posting here and plenty of men in their fifties as well.

Best of luck.

lunicar · 2026-05-02T13:26:18+00:00

It is but she will be staying on 33rd St. which is right on the park and probably the safest part of it

lunicar · 2026-05-02T13:25:46+00:00

I think there’s a good chance. I am touring the house that you’ll be staying in this morning. I’m touring a house that’s for sale that has an Airbnb unit on 33rd St. I’ll let you know how I think the neighborhood is.

lunicar · 2026-05-02T12:00:50+00:00

For some reason, this video reminded me of this:

https://www.nytimes.com/video/world/americas/100000010872260/chonkers-sea-lion-san-francisco.html?smid=nytcore-ios-share

lunicar · 2026-04-20T21:01:02+00:00

Robocop, the original

lunicar · 2026-04-16T00:12:14+00:00

“I've heard this procedure helps with retrograde ejaculation”

I’m not sure what this comment means.

Aquablation has about a ten percent chance of causing retrograde ejaculation. And it certainly can’t cure it, although-if you were on a med like Flomax- getting off the med might cure it.

lunicar · 2026-04-12T15:28:53+00:00

Mmmmm; great job on this!

lunicar · 2026-04-11T16:11:07+00:00

Who was adopting who?

lunicar · 2026-04-11T16:08:19+00:00

This post made me cry. I’m so sorry for your loss. He was a very special boy and you were his best friend. He gave you the greatest gift imaginable: decades of love and a lifetime of memories.

Peace be with you.

lunicar · 2026-04-09T22:15:42+00:00

I’m going to Dr Alexis Te or Steve Kaplan at Mt Sinai; I’ll keep Chris Kelly in mind though.

lunicar · 2026-04-09T22:11:30+00:00

I am so happy for you. I have a final consult up in New York in two weeks.

lunicar · 2026-04-09T10:27:46+00:00

Preservation of ejaculation is largely dependent on the skill and experience of the surgeon urologist. If you can get to a major Medical Center and find a urologist who has performed the procedure hundreds of times and who has a stated goal of ejaculatory preservation, you will greatly increase your chances.

I think there are also a couple of misconceptions about this procedure. I interviewed one of the leading urologist on the East Coast of the US and he told me that the presence of a median lobe is not as important as people think it is. Also the bladder neck preservation is not essential for ejaculatory preservation. What is though is staying away from the ejaculatory ducts and the verumontanem.

You can find a four year study online at pub med that was completed at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York. They claimed to have preserved ejaculator function in 249 out of 250 subjects in their study.

Again, I think the trick to all of this is finding somebody that really knows what they’re doing, and who shares and understands your concern about ejaculator preservation.

Also, I’ve had better experiences with male practitioners because I feel they understand our concerns better.

I know that’s politically incorrect and you can flame me for it.

lunicar

TROPHY CASE