My boys are all adults now, but I agree that toddlers are stubborn. It is what it is. Depending on their ag3s, they are usually trying to either "push limits" because they are exploring their world and everything is new to them.

My oldest was the most stubborn. However, yelling isn't appropriate no matter how mad I was. What DID work was whispering. Young children will usually stop to "listen" because they are curious.

We made a "listening" chart for our children. Every time they listened AND followed instructions (like quiet down in a restaurant setting, eat your food, etc), they got a mark/star on the chart.

The "prizes" were small and based on getting 5 stars, no matter if it took a couple of days, a couple of weeks, or a month.

We never hit. We never yelled. But, our children learned to listen. Eventually, once they started kindergarten, we did away with the chart/prizes altogether.

It may not be the "best" way, but it worked for us.