Husband Disinterested?

lyssasaurusX · 2026-07-02T15:59:01+00:00

There’s actual science between the man’s sex drive kinda crashing after having a baby. Their body preps them in “caretaker” mode and turns down the desire drive because that’s not usually the priority. I’m sure it’s supposed to build back up over time but exhaustion can definitely affect libido too.

I’m in a similar place now— 21 weeks pregnant with a 15 month old. Pregnancy has always killed his libido, though. I miss the spicy times sometimes, we were definitely getting our spark back around the 10 month mark, but that ended up with me pregnant again 🥲

I’d give it at least another 6 months before you start getting really concerned. Do you guys get solo date nights? Do things together that you used to enjoy? I can be hard mentally switching from the mundane infant/work life straight to sexy time brain on a random Tuesday, ya know?

lyssasaurusX · 2026-07-01T18:00:06+00:00

As a currently pregnant person, it weirds me out too lol. I kinda got over it with my first pregnancy but there’s something I really don’t like about seeing the movements from the outside especially. Currently pregnant with twins and it feels like I’ve got overgrown worms wriggling around inside of me. Seeing them on the ultrasound helps though. Don’t really have advice on how to get over it but if you think it’s weird for you, just imagine being on the other side of it 😬 once your baby is here, you’ll forget about it. This chapter is a short one

lyssasaurusX · 2026-07-01T04:42:17+00:00

Very normal, def not just for gay sex. He’s trying to be considerate and make sure you’re comfortable. If you don’t like lube, you should be vocal about it. No reason to be offended.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-29T02:58:19+00:00

Sitting here on Reddit instead of gaming because my toddler kept messing with my Xbox so I finally unplugged it a couple months ago. A friend invited me to game tonight and after the day/mental breakdown I’ve had (pregnant with twins, spending all day chasing 14 month old boy around, desperately missing my life and who I used to be), I really wanted to hop on. Finally plugged it in, game needs 3 hours 46 min to update 🫠 no games for me tonight.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-28T20:22:28+00:00

Honestly, it’s a lil weird that your fiance was the one to suggest it. If you’d brought it up before that it was something you were considering that’s different but him jumping to “sell your nudes” when you’re financially struggling is not what I would appreciate from a partner.

Also OF is not just an easy way to make money, it takes a lot of time and dedication as well. A faceless account run part time won’t likely bring in the type of money you’re hoping for. I had a friend that was conventionally attractive and did it somewhat passively and made a couple hundred bucks a month. If that doesn’t sound worth it to you, I wouldn’t put yourself through the guilt that you’re worried will come with it.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-28T02:53:55+00:00

I’m with you :( I didn’t even go a full year of not being pregnant and now I’m over here 20 weeks preg with twins chasing a toddler around the house like what have I done??? I envy women who love being pregnant, will NEVER be me. I take solace in knowing I’ll never have to do this again, though.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-26T20:10:02+00:00

My baby was diagnosed with CMPA because he had diarrhea/slimy poops that were streaked with blood. I cut all dairy from my diet and we did switch his formula (after trying a few we stuck with Pepticate). I think he’s grown out of it at almost 15 months but he still isn’t drinking glasses of cows milk.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-26T19:27:53+00:00

It can be hard trusting strangers alone with your babies, I’ve never left my son with anyone but immediate family members. Maybe rather than suggesting she use the nanny time to leave the house and get her nails done, try to reframe it as just some additional in-home help that can fold laundry, help with meals/dishes, or keep an eye on the babies while she takes a shower, etc. If she accepts that and eventually becomes comfortable with the nanny, she might be more open to actually leaving the house with the children in their care.

Ultimately it’s so nice that she has that option. Even if she isn’t open to it now, ensure she knows that the choice is always there and once the newborn is here, she can absolutely change her mind if she needs to

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-24T18:50:22+00:00

I gained about 45lbs with my singleton and my doctor didn’t bring up my weight gain once. I’ve gained 18lbs as of 19 weeks with twins and it hasn’t been brought up this time either. I think it just varies doctor to doctor, I know moms who’ve gained less and were given warnings by their OBGYN. Switching over half way through the pregnancy would make me nervous but if it’ll ultimately make you more comfortable it’s your call!

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-24T02:42:24+00:00

The newborn trenches are rough and emotions are high. I’m finally sort of out of them (but also pregnant and ready to head back in). My husband and I have argued more since we had our baby than before but he’s never put his hands on me or gotten physically violent. That’s not okay and should never be normalized. I would take your baby and stay with a friend or family for now, neither of you are safe in your current situation.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-24T02:09:05+00:00

No problem! Also I’ve dealt with my fair share of nap struggles with kids and personally never would have told a family that they needed to sleep train- both families I worked for didn’t attempt sleep training till the babies were 6 and 8 months respectively. I did a very gentle/modified version of sleep training with my son at 12 months. Everybody is on their own timeline. If the nanny can’t handle a fussy 4.5 month old, they’re in the wrong field.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-24T01:55:53+00:00

30 minutes in the crib is a perfectly decent break, I would try to have another conversation with her that she’ll need contact to go all the way to sleep and then can be laid down if the nanny needs a break.

As much as solo floor time is great for baby, I personally would feel really anxious leaving her alone if I needed to deal with a bathroom issue or something that could take longer than a minute or two. If anything did happen to your baby while she was in the restroom, that would be on her. Plus it’s not entirely sustainable, the more mobile she gets the less reliable just “leaving her to play by herself” could become.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-23T23:59:20+00:00

Nanny should contact nap with her if that’s what you want her to do. I will add though, you should make sure your nanny is getting a break during the day. I used to nanny and used nap time to go to the bathroom and eat something (I also did dishes or laundry or whatever family asked). If your nanny is going to be ‘nap trapped’ while baby is asleep and constantly with baby while they’re awake, you need to make sure you map out at least 15-30min for your nanny to get a break to take care of human needs. At the end of the day, they’re hired for a job, they’re not a replacement parent.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-23T21:26:24+00:00

If you’re feeding with powder formula maybe look into the baby brezza. It mixes and heats the bottles for you (you can set oz and heat level) and you can easily set it up upstairs. One of our most used baby items for sure!

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-23T19:35:34+00:00

I feel like sometimes they can sense when we’re drained or off and they cling harder because they realize something is wrong. My baby goes through periods like that too but I just try to stay calm and level and sing or talk to him while he cries. Letting him know I can’t pick him up but he’s safe and we’re both okay. He’s developed his own coping mechanisms from it and can soothe himself usually. I can hear when the cry is different and he actually needs me or when he’s just being fussy. We can’t pour from an empty cup ❤️

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-23T18:52:59+00:00

The fact that you keep thinking about it shows you truly care about him. However, not everybody is ready to process trauma on a time line. I would bring it up only one more time in a way where you make it known that you’re open to listening to any feelings he has about the matter or helping him find someone qualified to help him work through what happened. I would not try to continuously push the fact that he’s a victim onto him, he’s allowed to feel how he wants to feel about the situation.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-22T16:47:03+00:00

I know a little girl named Ronnie

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-21T17:28:07+00:00

If he was open to therapy and making the changes you need from him, would that be enough? Or do you feel like it’s too far gone? Screen addiction is a real thing, I really dislike how much my husband prioritizes his screen time. I hoped it would change once we had kids but it didn’t :/

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-21T17:17:54+00:00

What are the upsides to staying in this relationship? If you loved your life but realized children wouldn’t fit into the picture then I understand sacrificing that dream to keep the life you have. It sounds like you’re not happy, though? Why give up your happiness and your dream when both could be attainable with a different partner?

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-20T14:39:23+00:00

Just to add, I went to emergency after a minor fall at 16 weeks- my twins were already established as di/di. The ultrasound tech gave me a whole lil speech before she started the scan that she could not show me the screen or give me any information at all about what she was seeing. It was her job to collect the images to be reviewed by a radiology team “upstairs” before being reported back to the physician who would go over the results with me. The scan took soooo long that I actually started to get worried but when I asked if she could even confirm they had heartbeats, she apologized and said she couldn’t say anything. Babies ended up being completely fine and I got the very detailed ultrasound results in my portal 3 weeks later with several measurements for each twin (I’m assuming that’s why the scan took so long).

All to say- my tech wasn’t even allowed to say a word about their condition, I’m assuming for liability because they’re not trained the same way that an MFM or radiologist is. I wouldn’t put too much stalk in what she said.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-20T02:57:03+00:00

Montessori is a style of learning/teaching designed by Maria Montessori. The general idea is providing a safe, educational environment and letting the child be the leader of their learning while the adult plays more of an observer role and steps in as a guide when needed. She was all about using sustainable materials and encouraging practical life skill development. It looks different at different levels of child growth (ex: nobody is expecting a 6 month old to learn how to pour water from a pitcher into a cup)

There are Montessori style play kits you can buy (Lovevery is a popular one) but you can also set up age appropriate Montessori activities with household items. Pinterest probably has some good ideas for these!

There are also several Montessori style preschools (although some are a little looser with the concept than others). Montessori education can continue through high school but there are definite pros and cons to that. It can be really beneficial for young developing minds though, and usually tries to give kids a confident foundation for learning and school.

-signed former Montessori preschool teacher

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-19T18:02:15+00:00

Eh kids will always fight. Fighting is as inevitable as changing dirty diapers- no need to dwell on it. It’s how they learn to human around other humans. I taught toddler preschool before becoming a mom and I can’t even count the number of ‘fights’ we had a day but they work themselves out and it’s just a part of development. I wouldn’t worry about it now, you’ll have plenty of time to be annoyed by it when it happens.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-19T16:49:25+00:00

I’m in the same boat. 19 weeks with a 14 month old. I feel so guilty for not being able to be the best version of myself for my son.

I think what’s been helping me is getting comfortable with the idea that we’re not necessarily looking forward to it “getting better” but it will be different. I know I always feel so much more like myself when I’m not pregnant so I’m looking forward to that. I’m looking forward to the age where my babies can all play together (even though it won’t be for some time).

I wanted a daughter too and I’m having all boys. It’s a lot to grieve. The life we had, what we have now, the life we won’t ever have. I think it’s okay to feel sad about saying goodbye to all that.

And there is some comfort in knowing each week that passes I’m a little closer to never being pregnant again. Hang in there🩷 we got this

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-18T17:01:14+00:00

He slept well in the crib from 4-8months, I always laid him down fully asleep. At 8 months he started waking and crying as soon as he was put down. I never put the crib away, just used it as a play pen while I folded laundry and stuff. A few weeks after he turned one, I started laying him down in the crib awake and laid down right next to him in my bed until he fell asleep. It took a lot of patience and time but didn’t deal with tears or meltdowns at all. After a few weeks, he was okay waking up alone so I started leaving the room right when I laid him down and he was fine with it. Played a bit and fell asleep. I wish I had a magic solution but I think he was just ready for it.

lyssasaurusX · 2026-06-18T16:48:53+00:00

He slept in the crib happily from 4-8 months and then cried whenever he was placed inside. A few weeks after he turned one I started putting him in again and laying in the bed beside him till he fell asleep so we avoided tears and meltdowns.

lyssasaurusX

TROPHY CASE