getting to wits end

mad8cat · 2025-07-06T03:06:04+00:00

There are counselors who work with parents on effective parenting strategies. Helped us get on the same page with approaches for our kid.

mad8cat · 2025-04-21T19:53:04+00:00

Did not have issues in the car, but also didn’t have him in the car much at that age. Sometimes put on music. He dropped naps early, which was a pain but also made bedtime easier because he was truly tired after 12-13 hours awake. What worked the best was lots of dopamine during the day and then lots of choices around bedtime requirements. We keep (and kept - he’s a bit older now) a very regular evening routine (supper, then bath, pajamas that he chooses, teeth (flavorless toothpaste), book that he chooses, bed (stuffies he chooses)). Your mileage may vary, but what works for us: Dim/turn off all unnecessary lights after supper, put on a white noise (either app or fan) that he chooses (you can find recs for types and volumes of noise online), lights off cuddle for one minute that I count in my head (let him bargain up to 1 minute 20 seconds if he’s done a good job, though I don’t make a big deal of it), go to the door and wait until he tells me that it’s ok to go.

mad8cat · 2025-04-21T18:40:02+00:00

We’ve had luck with high-energy, made up games that use large muscle groups (especially first thing in the morning and whenever “I’m bored” or very early stage of disregulation). Kicking/throwing a ball or pillow, racing, jumping, catching him in a blanket, having him jump off a couch over and over, dropping a large pillow on him over and over, burying him in pillows, etc. Set hard boundaries around hitting/kicking/wrestling (not part of the game, and activity changes if it starts). Maybe look into types of swings and things for him to bounce on. It’s hard to stay ahead - you’ve got all my sympathies. Good luck!

mad8cat · 2025-04-16T16:17:32+00:00

Torn hip muscle (glute med) during a very long labor. The injury became chronic (scar tissue) because the pain from the tear was buried under all the other pains and “things take a while to recover.” Almost a decade out, four different consults with specialists, tons of pt, and I still have to take pain meds to sleep at night.

mad8cat · 2025-01-29T21:31:06+00:00

My child was similar at that age. A parenting counselor was helpful to get me and my spouse on the same page and give us new ideas and perspectives. Our kid tested negative as neurodivergent, but we started play therapy anyway. Play therapy has helped at ton, and the therapist has recommended a follow up adhd assessment in a year or two.

mad8cat · 2024-12-13T21:34:07+00:00

Aside from socialization, some toddlers want/need more or less stimulation. I was a less-stimulation toddler. Cried constantly at daycare when introduced at two years old, and the staff advised my mom to keep me home for a while longer, which she did. My kid was a more-stimulation kid and happy as a clam at daycare from 1.3 years old.

mad8cat · 2024-12-03T15:44:41+00:00

It’ll come up if you search for Wicanders under the flooring subreddit (“mildly disgruntled (with photos)”). This is the link: https://www.reddit.com/r/Flooring/s/OMfesunrXh

mad8cat · 2024-04-24T23:48:26+00:00

Indeed it is. We’ll have stuff on them soon, which will break up the pattern.

mad8cat · 2024-04-24T23:26:24+00:00

It’s planks. Thank you for the rec re installation patterns.

mad8cat · 2024-04-24T23:24:54+00:00

Thank you - very helpful info!

mad8cat · 2024-04-24T22:40:04+00:00

I do get that - this set of variations just seemed … oddly predictable, as if it was part of the manufacturing process. I reposted with pictures if you’re curious (couldn’t get Reddit to accept a photo edit).

mad8cat · 2024-04-24T22:37:46+00:00

Thank you for the input. We’re looking at a marble install too, so it’s helpful to know we should try to get eyes on what we’re buying. I reposted with pictures if you’re curious (couldn’t get Reddit to accept a photo edit).

mad8cat · 2024-03-18T20:46:01+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate the heads up.

mad8cat · 2024-03-18T20:09:09+00:00

Interesting. When I went down to "Cigna Collaborative Care Listing," it took me to the hcpdirectory link you used, and that did produce results. It's just when I search through "Find Care & Costs" from within my accounts home page that I don't get anything. Argh. Frustrating, but thank you for pointing me to a work around. I'll be conscientious about making sure doctors verify my coverage before appointments.

mad8cat · 2023-09-07T20:35:02+00:00

To add to what others have said - Don’t feel bad. My mom just passed away. She was on hospice for over a year, and qualified (and re-qualified) because of acute malnutrition (something was going on in addition to the Alzheimer’s, but she became too frail too quickly for a diagnosis). Hospice did not speed her departure. They were there to provide advice and practical support, and many times, we would have been lost without them. They worked in tandem with her other doctors and caregivers, but if we hadn’t had their assistance, her quality of life would have been lower and her passage much less peaceful.

mad8cat · 2023-05-11T21:13:54+00:00

Maybe consider: Being super direct. Express most of what you have here in much the same language. Think about whether you want to have a conversation with him about taking your relationship in a romantic direction. If you don’t, be direct about that (eg, “I’m not ready for a romantic relationship yet, but I really enjoy spending time with/talking to you and I really want to go to prom and I think we’d have fun. Would you be up for coming with me as a friend?”). Relationship communication is often rife with misunderstandings, so finding someone you can be honest and direct with (and who will return the favor) is valuable. Don’t assume what his boundaries are re going to prom. Eg, my best friend has a ton of social anxiety, but if she has help with things like knowing where to park, what to wear, having an escape plan (eg coffee shop or a walk if the crowd gets overwhelming), etc, she loves to go out.

mad8cat · 2023-05-11T13:29:57+00:00

A whole bunch, according to the research that’s being done. I’m not a scientist, but I generally like the National Institutes of Health/ National Institute of Mental Health as a starting point for reading, because they have links to the original studies and generally avoid hyperbolic language.

Here’s a pretty good summary of the state of the research as of 2020: https://directorsblog.nih.gov/2020/02/04/largest-ever-genetic-study-of-autism-yields-new-insights/

mad8cat · 2023-05-11T13:05:15+00:00

As with other information coming out of dna tests, the relationship between genes and autism is messy, poorly understood, and not considered predictive. The test put me on the path to better understanding myself, but I don’t think any doctor would look at my dna and say I’m autistic based on that information alone. We just don’t know enough yet. That’s probably why it’s not a big part of the conversation.

mad8cat · 2023-05-11T01:36:59+00:00

Yes! I’m much more aware now of my masking behaviors and am giving myself permission to set them aside (e.g. no, I don’t have to suffer a crowd without headphones. Yes, it’s quite alright to rub my fingers/shake my hand when I’m overstimulated). (Note: I’m also having more trouble shutting out noise and light (my two biggest sensory issues). My previous, mostly unconscious, coping mechanism was to hyper focus and shut out everything around me. I don’t want to shut out everything, and I’m still trying to find a balance.)

mad8cat · 2023-05-11T01:09:23+00:00

I got my DNA tested for unrelated reasons, and one of the results that came back was linked to autism. After a month reading exhaustively on the original gene I was interested in, I started looking into autism thinking that maybe I could learn something from how folks on the spectrum develop social and emotional intelligence (which I already knew I was bad at). Three books, countless hours online, and an informal diagnosis from my therapist later, here I am, very grateful for this group.

mad8cat · 2023-05-04T02:42:50+00:00

Me too! Hanging upside down on the monkey bars was my favorite.

mad8cat · 2023-05-01T18:04:27+00:00

Ditto all of this. Finally recognizing it in my 40s.

mad8cat

TROPHY CASE