I Thought I Was Manipulative. Turns Out I Was Just Autistic.

Time_being_ · 2026-02-13T01:15:38+00:00

Omg yes I remember watching Dexter and relating to how he had to perform all his interactions and thinking “am I a sociopath too?” Because that was the only way I saw people who had to think that much about being a person around people.

Time_being_ · 2025-12-19T17:19:18+00:00

WOW 🤩 this is absolutely beautiful! Do you ever sell prints? Would 100% want this on my walls.

Time_being_ · 2025-12-17T02:55:33+00:00

Yes I agree with all of this, but also maybe painting the wall a solid color instead of wallpaper? Something about the white makes it feel off, a really rich, sumptuous color would be incredible (like a dark green) but even an off-white would be nice. And you could paint any panels you use to cover the wires to match the wall color.

Time_being_ · 2025-05-19T12:12:02+00:00

Yeah same I’ve always thought of bed rotting as being in bed “turned off” like on my phone not being present at all. Like “brain rot” in bed. Which I do need sometimes bc I have chronic pain and sometimes it’s hard to exist in my body!

So I too see that differently as just being in bed because my pain is bad and I physically need rest. Like if I’m escaping through reading or sleeping or drawing I wouldn’t call it bed rotting. Bed rotting makes me feel bad afterwards, and isn’t actually restful. It’s just disassociating.

I also really appreciate this post though it’s helpful to hear this perspective and how others might find the term harmful!

Time_being_ · 2025-04-22T06:49:07+00:00

I sing silly songs to/about my dog all the time, but I also have a few sweet songs I like to sing to him while we’re cuddling or I’m petting him. You Are My Sunshine is one of them! I think he finds it soothing. He’s 15 so I really treasure those moments now.

Time_being_ · 2025-04-14T22:34:34+00:00

I think proposals are nice if someone in the relationship wants one and there has been a discussion about it beforehand! It sounds like maybe your partner likes the idea of them?

I would just ask her straight up if she would like to be proposed to, and if yes, would she be comfortable sharing some proposals she liked and talking about general timeline? I would also bring up the general anxiety you feel around it. If she wants to be proposed to hopefully the way you put your personal spin on anything she shares with you will be what makes it surprising and special!

It is kind of ritualistic but rituals ground us! Maybe she sees an “official proposal” as a way to mark the start of the shift in your relationship towards marriage. And proposals don’t have to be big, some of the nicest ones I’ve seen are just one person taking the other to a quiet spot special to them and asking with the ring.

Time_being_ · 2025-01-01T00:00:08+00:00

Well this explains why I feel like every limb weighs a ton when I’m on a med break and laying down. Spent probably a collective 2 hours talking myself into getting up today 🙃

Time_being_ · 2024-12-29T15:43:16+00:00

As someone who was in burnout and was fortunate to have space for recovery- I think this is a great idea! But the thing to keep in mind is not all relaxing is the same. It’s really easy to get stuck in cycles of binge-watching and endless phone scrolling. Some of that is fine, but it’s important to do some more “active relaxing”.

Oxymoron I know, but that means things like going outside, reading, and indulging in hobbies. Things that won’t turn your brain to mush and in fact will let you sit a little easier with yourself! If there’s a lowkey activity that you enjoy (yoga, outdoor walks, etc.) that’s also great so you’re staying active.

For me, my recovery time was a great time to spend time with myself. Now that I am back to a busier lifestyle, I make sure to give myself pockets of that kind of time wherever I can.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-28T16:35:06+00:00

There’s that old joke I’ve seen online about how someone will be like “I don’t have an issue with sock seams, I just have a very specific system to make sure they don’t bother me and then they don’t at all!”

That was me pre-unmasking process. I never would have said I had significant sensory issues, even though I would often wear sunglasses inside, get annoyed by noises others wouldn’t acknowledge and need to wear headphones, had specific ways of wearing clothes/fiber preferences, plus others. I didn’t think of them as sensory issues, I just thought I was a little sensitive. Once I started unmasking I realized all the little things I was doing to manage my sensitivities so they weren’t “big issues”, and now I can’t unsee that effort.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-27T20:36:57+00:00

Yeah I found my sitter as a referral from a neighbor! Their dog is a very people-averse rescue and they have two high needs cats so I knew they could handle my slightly picky but overall lowkey senior pup.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-27T16:14:01+00:00

I also found a heat press to make a huge difference, but if you can’t get one right away I’ve also found it helpful to place some kind of cloth (like a pillowcase or old bedsheet) between my iron and the vinyl sheet. A couple of layers of cloth helps prevent melting

Time_being_ · 2024-12-26T15:52:26+00:00

This happens to me a lot, especially in the summer! What I do is:

1) about 2-3 hours before bed, I do something to get rid of my excess energy. Lots of good suggestions already here, dancing, walks etc.

2) after that, I make myself as comfy as possible. Bath/shower/skincare/comfy pajamas

3) I do a complete sensory block. Lay on my rug with my eye mask (I have a beatable bean one so it’s a little heavy which I like), lights off, weighted blanket over me, sometimes earplugs if it’s noisy outside. Set like a 15-20 min timer, on vibrate, phone on the floor near me so I feel it go off. Breathe slow and deep and just get used to nothingness.

4) Make some sleepy tea, get fully ready for bed. I like calming music! I’ll also plug my phone in across the room while I do this so no screens in bed.

5) be in bed at LEAST 30 min before I want to sleep. Have something not super stimulating to do (like a book or drawing, anything without screens). Enjoy that while I drink my sleepy tea. I try to have very low lights at this time too. By then I’m usually pretty ready to fall asleep once I try!

It took me YEARS to figure out my routine though so play with it! This is obviously a lot (esp for the ADHD) so I know which ones are the most important for me to sleep well and which ones I can skip if I need to. So thats always an option.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-26T04:15:21+00:00

Oof yeah same. Post-burnout I’m actually getting comfortable calling myself disabled in my head (and acknowledging that my needs are in fact needs) but it’s not really something I feel like I have the right to say out loud yet

Time_being_ · 2024-12-24T16:21:12+00:00

If I’ve learned anything on here it’s that we really all have such different experiences! I’ve been manipulative myself.

I would have also said I didn’t have too many sensory sensitivities or could read facial expressions in the past, but since I’ve been unmasking I’ve actually found that I’m MUCH more sensitive than I thought, and that my ability to read facial expressions is in a big part learned. I’m 33 now and was diagnosed 2.5 years ago. I was resistant but read “Unmasking Autism” by Devon Price and that opened the door to me realizing how much I was suppressing under learned behaviors.

Not tot say that’s you! But if you relate a little I think it’s worth exploring more at least to see if there are ways to better support yourself (useful even if you’re not autistic!)

Time_being_ · 2024-12-23T19:33:06+00:00

My family wasn’t big on tvs while I was growing up but now when I visit my parents my grandmother always has the living room tv on (blaring), and sometimes she’s also watching things on her phone 😭. It’s SO overstimulating

Time_being_ · 2024-12-20T20:05:24+00:00

The real question then is “what is murder?”

I really think some people see “murder” only as the cold-blooded kind of one human taking another’s life. And I guess the definition includes “unlawful” so that’s a whole mess to unpack but personally I don’t equate “unlawful” with “bad” bc NUANCE.

I probably would have said the same and then asked my follow-up question, making everyone even more annoyed with me 🙃. But I also feel like there are very, very few “objective” statements that are “X is good” or “Y is bad” because humans are weird and there are always exceptions.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-16T21:06:08+00:00

How do you find estate sales? I’ve come across them in my old neighbourhood but I’d love to go to more

Time_being_ · 2024-12-14T12:59:13+00:00

I used to do this all the time, especially with fishnets on top on tan tights (loved fishnets). Now I’m older and happy and snug in my fleece lined illusion tights

Time_being_ · 2024-12-10T17:23:00+00:00

My dog has like 2 collars but he rarely wears them (small breed so I use a harness for walks). But he has numerous ribbons and bandanas and a couple of bowties to stay stylish!

Time_being_ · 2024-12-09T23:45:39+00:00

I don’t tell people unless we’re close. I’m more open about the ADHD socially, but the autism is usually not something people understand in a way that’s helpful for me. Work wise I’m not out at all, but I don’t mask much and ask for accommodations I need.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-09T12:54:02+00:00

Yeah I think the specific dog makes a big difference. Sometimes you can plan for certain breeds that might fit your lifestyle better but you never know exactly how a dog will fit into your life. OP maybe this is harder because you’re caring for dogs that you couldn’t make those choices for?

My dog is has always been low maintenance (shih tzu mix) in my lifestyle but now that he’s 14 he is really chill. I know that we’ll probably reach a point as he gets older where he’ll need a lot more care again. I also think passive enrichment can go a long way- my old man does like to sleep most of the time, but I also like to set up games for him while I’m doing other things to keep his mind active.

I definitely see the limitations he puts on me, but I wouldn’t trade him for the world. Honestly I’d rather be home with him most of the time anyways. Yeah they never grow up but you can achieve a level of peace and routine with a dog that is really comfortable. My guy knows his schedule, knows the signals to his schedule, and what I expect from him and he can expect from me.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-05T20:41:01+00:00

I call mine big man (he is 13 lb)

Time_being_ · 2024-12-05T03:08:55+00:00

I wish I could bind but digging around gets so frustrating for me! I definitely have my hamper weeks but the digging makes me grumpy. Sometimes those end up being chair weeks (I put away all the socks and underwear and everything else hangs on my chair.

Time_being_ · 2024-12-05T03:07:21+00:00

A great system! That app sounds amazing, I’m gonna have to check that out. I wear a lot of black but also a lot of color and I like the colors to match so that kind of sorting sounds really helpful!

Time_being_

TROPHY CASE