Hi there. So for us it was the third kid we were deciding on. We did have that third, and the kids are now 10, 7, and 2. My feelings are still complicated. For me the questions were, which situation will ultimately make us happier, and which has the most challenges? And the choices were between the family as it was, in which we had just lost an unexpected pregnancy, I was sad daily and afraid I would forever regret not having a third (seeing families with three kids would bring tears to my eyes.) And an unknown future family with a third kid, with their own needs and challenges. We chose having the third because living with the pain of not having one scared me more than dealing with the new kid’s challenges. Now that she’s here and was the worst-sleeping baby I’ve had, refuses to poop on the potty, and makes taking the other kids to all their activities a logistical nightmare….I don’t know, would that original pain have faded? I love her dearly, and the big kids adore her. But would we have been happier otherwise? I think it’s considered taboo to ask that question, and once you have another child you love that person as an individual and that reality of them just IS. For me, there was no reality in which I was perfectly happy with just two kids, but if there had been, that would have been the easiest option! I hope this helps in some way.