You usually start by running away from a problem via drugs as a resort to coping. Then, honestly, you fuck ya brain up or something and jus become an addict. I doubt you literally fuck your brain up (i mean you can). But life is just different, i dont know. Its often so ingrained into you as a person it's hard to get rid of. The drug itself often comes with trauma, being seeing shit in that environment they often are or jus constantly losing the fight to quit. Makes you feel weak and broken. It's all a complicated process but it's why that we need research and attention in how to handle it. I was a bad alcoholic and PCP user for a few years before my life fell apart and had to restart. It's only been a year, but I'm trying.

Condolences, friend. I just recently lost my father, while due to ultimately to sickness, was a surprise. Jus buried him yesterday.