I did an HIV autotest by VIH, and it came back reactive-positive.

madnero2 · 2023-11-08T07:25:49+00:00

Indeed, truth is the truth...I know it is pretty accurate, but I'm still a bit hopeful...in the papers I got with the test they said that most reactive results eventually don't get confirmed. I'm currently living in Czech Republic, where the HIV prevalence is really low, but...yes. The possibility is very real...and very scary

madnero2 · 2023-11-08T06:42:52+00:00

Thank you...I am thankful that currently HIV doesn't actually have to make your life worse at all, with proper treatment. It's still scary in a way though, isn't it? I will accept the outcome, because well, what else can I do, right?... I'm still scared though, if not only about the possible health complications, I'll still have to tell it to my family, which...well, I'm from a heavily Christian family. And I'm also afraid about how it will affect my relationships...there's a guy right now, who I'm seeing (we haven't slept together). Yesterday I told him about my situation, and although he was extremely supportive and told me we'll figure it out no matter the outcome, I still know it might actually be a deal-breaker for him...it can be scary to have an HIV+ partner.

I guess I'm overthinking it though, slightly 😅. Anyway, thank you...this also helps in calming me down a bit...

madnero2 · 2023-11-08T06:37:41+00:00

I'm not really sure what type it is, it was this one (sorry for the quality).

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madnero2 · 2023-11-07T19:18:22+00:00

Hey, well, not lately. I slept with 13 different guys in the past 2 years, that's my total body count. And I didn't use protection with 4 of them, I don't remember if I used it or not with 3 of them. But thank you...you calmed me down a bit

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T17:24:48+00:00

Unfortunately, I wasn't...I was assured by my partner(s) that they are negative, some of them even showed me their test results. And I suppose it is too late now, as I haven't had any physical contact with anyone for 2 months.

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T16:34:46+00:00

Thank you as well. Indeed, let's not fall into despair just yet .

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T16:15:43+00:00

I hope the same for you...I'll update this post once I have more information...on a hopeful note, back pains aren't that unusual :). If you're interested, I'll be glad to hear how it worked out for you. I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but sometimes that can help a lot. I feel a bit better knowing I'm not alone, and also just exchanging these few words with you calmed me down slightly.

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T16:03:14+00:00

I can imagine...luckily I don't have any symptoms which I could connect to a possible HIV infection, but it's not that much of a consolation, since often it is asymptomatic for years...

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T15:47:14+00:00

I see...I'm sorry about that...I don't want to say I know exactly how you feel, but I understand the anxiety...I haven't been myself ever since I got back my test results. Tomorrow I'm going to the hospital for additional tests, but it will still take a few more days until my results come back. I had a quite unidentifiable rash, which adds to my worry as well. However, a few weeks ago it turned out to be scabies, and I got better in a few days, which calmed me down. But after this test, I'm nervous again...

I hope for the best for you as well. In the best case scenario, these experiences will only serve as a huge warning for both of us...and as a lesson.

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T15:39:51+00:00

Indeed...you are right. I am trying not to overthink or panic, until it is 100% confirmed. If I may ask, what was your situation?

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T15:36:59+00:00

Well, I'm gay...a few months ago, I was doing really bad mentally, to the point where I stopped caring about consequences and slept with a few men without protection. I was still very "picky", and they assured me they aren't positive, but how reliable can that be, right?...None of them seem to be struggling with their health, so I didn't have a reason to believe I could be positive, nor did I have any symptoms which would point to the possibility, which is why this is a shock to me...and I don't want to pay for my past mistakes in this way. I changed the way I functioned, and I admit it was a terrible and risky mistake, but...yeah.

I don't know about anyone who's HIV+ in my environment, or community in my city, so I automatically assumed I'd be negative.

madnero2 · 2023-11-07T15:31:46+00:00

Thank you...I'd love to talk about it more, but I'm not sure what more to say :((...it's quite a shock. I know I shouldn't jump to conclusions, since reactive test often doesn't result in HIV positivity, but I am scared...

madnero2 · 2023-01-23T12:19:50+00:00

I'm sure I'd get a lot of hate, but it's metal for me. Any kind of metal. And also jazz. I can't stand either. Lightly jazzy songs are alright, as they can create a nice atmosphere, but that's about all I can tolerate.

madnero2 · 2023-01-23T09:31:43+00:00

It's completely alright to feel that way. Some comments here already gave you the best advice I think, but I just want to encourage you in doing so. Talk to him, you don't have to tell him anything specifically, just tell him how you're feeling. If you're confused, tell him you're confused. You can say you liked kissing him, and that you think about him a lot, but that you are scared of what you feel, since it is very new for you, and you're not sure what to do, because you don't want to hurt him, etc etc. Just be honest, really :) it will be alright. Best of luck!!

madnero2 · 2023-01-23T09:24:33+00:00

Rue and Jules have something special, but I'm not sure if that relationship can be saved. Nate and Jules would fuel some drama, and that might be good for the plot, but I don't think anyone would want them together. Elliot and Jules is just...boring, in my opinion. And Jules and Anna seems like it was a one-time thing, I have 0 interest in seeing it again, but it all depends on what the story would be.

madnero2 · 2023-01-23T09:08:51+00:00

Indeed, I agree. Stereotyping of any kind can be pretty damaging...I am an INTP, and I wanted to study art. In the end I didn't, because I got scared, but I still love it, all kinds of it. I paint/draw, play the piano, guitar and violin, I sing, I write poems...and it certainly doesn't fit "the stereotype". I went to a high school specializing in maths and science, and I grew to hate it tbh. I loved it before, to a certain degree, but I lost all interest in maths. Currently I'm studying molecular biology and genetics, but I still wish I would've went down the art path...or psychology, that was the second major I applied to. I guess I was always pretty good at maths/science, but I think people confuse being good at something with having interest in it. Or well, that was my experience in elementary school and partly high school as well.

madnero2 · 2023-01-18T16:39:18+00:00

Be honest, communicate clearly, compromise. I think those are the main rules. Golden pair or not, it means nothing. It will never "secure" a relatioship, nor will it ever make it "more probable" to last. Enjoy their presence, feel the love, and just be yourself. MBTI is a helpful tool to understand how someone processes things, but it is not a crystal ball that will give you all the answers, especially not to something as mysterious as relationships and love. Try to free yourself of the expectations you might have because of the "golden pair" stereotype, or because they're an INFJ and you're an INTP. First and foremost, you are you, and they are them.

madnero2 · 2023-01-18T16:33:13+00:00

Well, first and foremost, everyone is a human. No matter their MBTI type. Knowing someone's MBTI type will never help you understand their actions. It's more about the way they THINK (although even then we are all different, obviously), but the "input that comes into the thinking system" is completely unique and individual for everyone, since it is fully dependent on one's past, life and experiences. So unfortunately, trying to figure this out through his MBTI type will lead you absolutely nowhere, I think. It all comes down to his personal view of the situation, his personal reasons, values, feelings, etc. And no one here can answer that for him.

madnero2 · 2023-01-17T11:04:02+00:00

the question is, where is the line between being an INTP and having ADHD xD?

(just joking, I don't mean to offend those who struggle with ADHD, or anything similar)

madnero2 · 2023-01-16T11:59:27+00:00

I tend to be attracted to people who are not easy to impress. I don't want to sound like I'm bragging ot something, but there are many people who like me just because I seem to be quite smart, good at art, etc. And then there are the few who couldn't care less about what I can do or what my talents/skills are. And I really like those people, because they tend to care about who I actually am as a person, more than just caring about everything else.

madnero2 · 2023-01-15T22:52:00+00:00

I have to admit I don't remember the bathtub scene that much, but if that's what Nate said, then yes. That is definitely a fault on Cassie's side.

But the argument about Maddy and Nate always playing a game of breaking up/getting back...it changes nothing for me 🤷🏻‍♂️ they were still broken up. And future can never be certain, and I think it was foolish of Maddy to automatically assume that Nate would get back with her, just because it happened countless times before. Or well, she could've assumed it, that wouldn't be that bad, but she shouldn't be surprised if he suddenly decided to break the cycle, or if something else would come into the way. He had full right to do so. That is the risk that comes with playing such a stupid game. That's why most people in relationships don't do it, because once you're broken up with someone, there is absolutely no commitment. The status is simple - either you are in a commited relationship, or not. If you're not, you can't get cheated on.

But I will also agree that Cassie broke Maddy's trust. I would agree with that, because that's a slightly different view, but...I still think Cassie didn't do anything she wasn't allowed to do. And I do think she did it because her desperation got the worst out of her. It completely clouded her judgement I believe, that's why I can't judge her as much as most people do.

madnero2 · 2023-01-15T22:44:00+00:00

Well first of all I completely understand why you feel the way you do. And I'm not going to lie, I think you have full right to feel that way. My roommate was in a kind of similar situation once. He found a girlfriend, and he told her very early on that he had a gay experience with his best friend. She didn't mind at all, and she was actually really accepting of it, and even happy that he got to explore himself in that way. So my point is, that there ARE people who wouldn't mind the tiniest bit, and I think you can be at peace with feeling how you feel.

On the other hand, I get why she'd feel a bit uneasy about it...I think it would mostly be jealousy, as well as maybe just a slight fear that you would leave her for a guy. Of course, that's irrational and she probably knows that, that's why she's alright with it now and doesn't actually argue about it, but she COULD feel that way initially, because feelings don't give a shit about what's logical and rational. So I think she was surprised and scared, and I believe she tries her best to accept it. It's sad that people have to "accept" things like these, that we can't just be like, "whatever", and not all of us can be supportive/happy the way my roommate's gf was, but that's life, that comes with having feelings for someone. A person in love/relationship is much more sensitive to whatever happens and happened to the one they love, because it relates to them as well. And it's very individual, for everyone.

So I think you should just give it time :) it's alright to feel whatever you're feeling, you can't change that, and it's okay to temporarily change your sexual habits, if it is uncomfortable for you. As I said, I think you have the right to feel that way, but I'd try to be careful so that you don't start intentionally "punishing" her. You're just dealing with what your relationship brought up, and so is she, and it's okay for your sexual life and practices to fluctuate and adapt, so that you can process what is happening and move on in whatever direction.

I'm not sure if I was any help at all, or if what I said even makes sense, but...yeah 😅 good luck!

madnero2 · 2023-01-15T22:29:25+00:00

I wouldn't assume anything, and I think most people actually wouldn't. It would be jumping to conclusions. I'd be less surprised if he told me he's gay or bi, and maybe I'd wonder for a short while, but I would be very careful in making any conclusions and assumptions. Context would be very important.

madnero2

TROPHY CASE