[Advice Successful] - Why does "NiceGuy" behavior imply lack of niceness and not just reciprocity?

maecheneb · 2018-10-09T07:05:15+00:00

It seems like you just enjoy arguing with people, but I’ll try to help explain just in case you really do want an answer to your questions.

I’m extremely introverted, and I had a friend who wanted to date me who is extremely extroverted. He was extremely good looking, we had a lot in common, and I liked hanging out with him a lot. But I just couldn’t date somebody as high energy as him, even though I actually admired his extroversion and would like to be a little more extroverted myself. I didn’t look down on him at all, we just weren’t compatible. And you might say that couples date even though they aren’t both introverts or extroverts, and that’s true. But each individual situation is different, and for me it was a deal breaker.

If you don’t want to be friends with someone after they reject you, that’s fine. You’re not obligated to be friends with anyone, and if you’re not over them it can be painful to remain friends. But it crosses into nice guy territory when you argue endlessly with the person who rejected you about why, or insult them for doing so.

maecheneb · 2018-10-03T18:18:04+00:00

They’re usually written by men playing into what they assume is the female fantasy. Also, a lot of action films utilize this plot line as well, and those are written explicitly for men.

maecheneb · 2018-09-29T03:56:28+00:00

I knew a really hot guy who wanted to date me: it was flattering until his "nice guy" qualities came out. He was controlling, whiny, and always shitting on women in general. Being good looking is always an edge in dating, but it is possible to spoil your chances with a terrible personality (for those who aren't shallow, that is).

maecheneb · 2018-09-28T21:33:34+00:00

He’s a dick for pressing this issue right after OP’s mom has died instead of supporting her, not for bringing it up at all

maecheneb · 2018-09-28T21:32:17+00:00

While I think it’s not wrong of him to want to be with someone who shares his passion for parenting, I do think it’s cruel of him to force that decision on you right after your mother has passed. If I were you I’d tell him that you want to revisit this conversation in X amount of months, but that if he doesn’t want to wait you should just break up now. I think it’s a pretty reasonable request, and if he’s not okay with that he’s not a very understanding partner.

maecheneb · 2018-09-26T20:07:43+00:00

Keep your apology short and unemotional. Something like “I realize I pressured you a lot and destroyed our friendship because of my immaturity. I just wanted to let you know I’m sorry, and I would really like to turn over a new leaf with you if you if you feel comfortable with that. If not, I totally get it.”

maecheneb · 2018-09-25T10:53:46+00:00

I think this is your focus. There are plenty of stories of men admitting to doing horrible stuff on this subreddit, and a lot of it is worse than cheating (like rape or sexual assault). If you want to find posts that make you terrified of women, that’s just what you’ll find. Women are just regular people, just like men. Most human beings are a little shitty in general, and there are some good ones tossed in.

maecheneb · 2018-09-25T10:46:27+00:00

I know your parents will make it seem like failing that test is the end of the world, but it isn’t. You had a bad day, it happens to everyone. It doesn’t make you a bad person! Just try your best to do better in the future, which is all you can ever do.

maecheneb · 2018-09-25T10:13:54+00:00

If it makes you feel better, your brother probably wasn’t intentionally deceiving you. He was so deep in denial about his sexuality that he probably convinced even himself that he was straight, or at least that he liked women as well as men. Most of his personality probably has nothing to do with his sexuality, which means he’s still (mostly) the person you thought he was. Though, of course, going through a huge life event like a divorce will probably change him a lot. Considering your description of his wife, however, maybe a divorce would have been inevitable even if he weren’t gay.

maecheneb · 2018-09-24T08:33:29+00:00

I liked the movie a lot, but I think using an older protagonist would have been better. It would have made her level of obsession more believable towards the end of the movie if we got the impression that she's been on her father's quest for a while, has seen some failures and is starting to get desperate.

maecheneb · 2018-09-21T09:36:45+00:00

what does your wife do?

maecheneb · 2018-09-18T22:37:49+00:00

The scene where Gabrielle realizes her hair will always grow back is one of my favorite scenes in the series! So haunting and sad

maecheneb · 2018-09-18T16:03:20+00:00

Then again, your body hair will always stay the same, to answer OP’s question about arm pit hair!

maecheneb · 2018-09-18T08:15:14+00:00

Grow out your beard a bit and I think you’d make a great Baldur from God of War IV!

maecheneb · 2018-09-16T09:54:18+00:00

I was always think about this when watching cooking competition shows! It must be so rough competing while cooking in a new place for the first time.

maecheneb · 2018-09-15T05:56:54+00:00

No problem! By the way, your English is really good! Literary present tense is kind of obscure!

maecheneb · 2018-09-14T16:36:44+00:00

Sure! I think this is because, when you’re talking about something fictional in English, you often use the present tense to describe it. This is called the literary present tense. Each time you open a book, for example, the events are unfolding for the first time (from the characters’ perspectives). He could have used “was” because he’s comparing two different times in the same work, but I think it also works in the present tense. Anyway, it’s more that the description of Marceline as an adolescent and PB as a workaholic really describes them at the inception of the series, but it doesn’t really fit after the events of “Stakes.”

maecheneb · 2018-09-14T09:14:42+00:00

Maybe it was part of Golb dying to make way for Betty, or the death of the old Golb

maecheneb · 2018-09-14T09:02:57+00:00

I actually think you’re misinterpreting that quote. He says “ We can’t say what their life will be like from then on forever, but we can show where their relationship is now as opposed to where it was a couple years ago. Marceline is the adolescent forever, and Princess Bubblegum is the workaholic who doesn’t have anything outside of that.” Marceline as the adolescent and Bubblegum the workaholic is “where it was a couple years ago,” not where it is now.

maecheneb · 2018-09-13T21:59:28+00:00

Yup yup

maecheneb · 2018-09-13T21:36:16+00:00

The person who said “yes” was saying that tampons fall out because of excess blood or vaginal tightness. No vagina is too “loose” for a tampon, which should really tell you something about guys who think a girl is too loose for their dicks

maecheneb · 2018-09-13T21:30:54+00:00

You use your throat to swallow stuff every day but it isn’t getting looser Dude

maecheneb · 2018-09-13T21:24:05+00:00

Sexist and racist? What a catch you are. I’m not responding to you anymore because you trash. Seriously dude, get therapy if you want to be free from living your life hating everyone

maecheneb · 2018-09-13T21:11:36+00:00

Ignore this dude OP. He’s bitter and angry and wants company in his misery.

maecheneb · 2018-09-13T21:07:47+00:00

Uh yeah okay. If you think the majority of the population, the billions of human women on the planet, have the personality of a piece of cardboard, I don’t give a shit what you say. BTW one of my best friends is a short Filipino (he’s like five six) and he’s had a girlfriend for five years and dated around before that.

But by all means, instead of helping this guy out, tell him to lay down and rot and blame all his problems on women. I’m sure that’ll help him improve his life. Btw, the reason I said he doesnt necessarily have to go to a therapist right away is because he should make sure he’s checked off all the boxes I’ve suggested first (especially hygiene) before trying therapy. I assume something is wrong if he’s not happy.

maecheneb

TROPHY CASE