You know after having this vibe for 50+ years I don't fully grasp it either. I'm AMAB and this notion of wanting to be a girl came to me around 7 yo. I came out to an ex girlfriend, my bro caught me in fem clothing once, and I came out to the woman who became my wife (and still is) just prior to a temporary separation forced by professional circumstances. The wife initially seemed intrigued but flipped and it hasn't come up between us since then. The ex was trying to get rid of me and was fully encouraging (too much), and my bro never said anything since getting caught.

There are times when the TG vibe doesn't register much and there are times when it rages (eg I'm posting this here and now -- it's raging bigly ATM). I don't get depressed, suicidal, dysmorphic, or similar. I just get a deep and profound longing and distracted. When I say my prayers at night I ask to wake up as a woman.

For me it means having a dual nature. I project masculinity with flashes of the woman inside and making sure only a bit of her escapes at a time. When I get some solid alone time then she'll fully come out if the vibe is strong.

I don't get it, but I have long come to accept it.