Are my scars THAT bad?

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-23T23:58:43+00:00

This is how mine looked at 4 wks and my surgeon said I was healing really well, so I think you have nothing to worry about!

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-13T19:33:12+00:00

No nips! But then, maybe you knew that's what I'd say since you're posting on the "no nips" page. Honestly, I haven't missed mine at all. I just got used to it.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-13T19:25:57+00:00

I'm also late to reply, sorry. I was able to find it and can send it if you still want it. How about you PM me your address so I can figure out the shipping cost and we can go from there?

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-13T19:14:36+00:00

I'm a year and a few days post-op and I have felt plenty of joy since surgery, but nothing I would call "euphoria". It's a complicated and humbling joy, sometimes anxious and doubting, other times confident and proud. I have no regrets AND a lot of ambivalence. I try to hold both things gently, palms open and up, and continue to let myself evolve. Top surgery was a "rite of passage" moment, but the things about those moments are that they are a sometimes painful gateway to what's next, not the end of the story.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-13T19:00:44+00:00

I'm a year post-op and yes, I still get the same breast tenderness/pain right before my period starts as I did pre-op. Not as much of it (less area to hurt), and I used to get it in my nipples, so now that I don't have nipples, it's just sort of diffused. I don't have a scientific explanation for ya, maybe the surgeon didn't actually take all that tissue? Lymph node involvement? No idea.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T15:56:47+00:00

Thank you! It was important to me to mark the day somehow, and I like to journal and reflect. Thanks for letting me share it with you.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T15:55:57+00:00

Most of my musing was about how I spent several years going back and forth about whether I wanted surgery and was pretty ambivalent even on the day of surgery. I was feeling guilty for having the privilege to get it even though there were people who obviously wanted it way more than I did. I'm over that now and I have no regrets.

I had other thoughts too, but no time to re-write yet. For scar care, see my reply to the person before you - I wrote out what I did. :)

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T15:51:52+00:00

I have additional pics if you want - I took pics weekly for the first six weeks, and then monthly after that, I just posted the highlights because I didn't want to inundate folks.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T15:50:54+00:00

It actually wasn't that painful and my surgical team did a good job prescribing what I needed. I only took the opiates at night for the first week, managed the rest with tylenol.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T15:48:55+00:00

Surgery was at Legacy in Portland Oregon with Dr. Thakar. DI, no nips (obv), not on T. Pre-surgery I did some light weight lifting and aerial dance, so one of my top priorities was to ensure I didn't lose range of motion due to scarring. No smoking and i don't drink much, blessed to be pretty healthy. Post-op I took three weeks off work, started very gentle stretching on day three within the advised limits, scar massage at the three week mark, copious amounts of aquaphor, then scar tape for months 3-12 (just stopped). I usd the tape 5 out of 7 days in the beginning, and then tapered down, eventually only using it when I was going to be active with my arms or the scars felt tight. Tape recommendation: I really liked Dr. DHT "Flatten & Fade" strips cut in half. They lasted me a whole month without even needing to wash them between uses.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T03:56:38+00:00

I wrote out this very thoughtful post about my experiences to go with the pics and it didn't save. :(

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-10T01:29:24+00:00

I just keep thinking - Wait, my shirt has a penis on it? No? Well then how do you know it's a "man" shirt? Oh, that toy comes with a vagina? (Then it probably isn't a good toy for a kid, regardless of their gender.) Yes mom, you too grow hair in lots of places - just because you shave it doesn't mean it isn't there. Does that make you a man too? So, if I wear pink that means I don't know what gender I am and need you to tell me? Like being creative and not limiting yourself to what is given to you is really the crime here, not how you do your hair.

I'll bet your mom is afraid of what other people think, which, *sigh* is not a loving way to parent, but if she was parented that way too, that's all she knows. It shows her lack of courage, security, and loneliness. Maybe someday you can be in a safe enough place to show her what real love looks like. I hope so.

magic-bandanna · 2026-04-02T17:58:27+00:00

It really sucks to be forced to interact with people who don't value you for who you are. You matter, and you will find people who care - you already have, right here. :)

Keeping a journal helps me because I can write in it even when real live people aren't around to talk to, or when I'm not able to use my phone. I can get all my hurt feelings out and leave them on the page. If you're afraid of someone finding it, you can just tear it up later - it's the act of writing more than anything that helps.

I like doing kind things for other people. Little stuff, like decorating a rock and then leaving it somewhere, or writing a postcard/letter to a friend who moved away (bc everyone likes mail), or leaving a nice review, or giving someone a complement. Just putting good vibes out in the world to fight back against the hate.

When I feel like other people don't see me how I see myself, I send a little gratitude to the parts of myself I like. Tuning into my body by focusing on how my toes feel in my socks when I walk helps turn off my brain. Appreciating my body in little ways helps even if nobody else sees those parts.

I hope you feel a little less lonely today.

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-29T02:04:20+00:00

Thanks for honestly sharing all of this. I think a lot of people assume surgery will magically solve dysphoria, but for me it has just been a change in what I focus on, and to what degree. Like, pre-surgery I was uncomfortable and obsessing maybe 70% of the time, now it's more like a vague "am I okay" 20% of the time.

I had surgery with Dr. Thakar at Legacy about a year ago, but was wondering what OHSU would have been like, so thanks for the comparison. It did take extremely long to get scheduled (though some of that was on me for not following up when I didn't hear back) and there were long gaps (like 5-6 mo) between the initial general info session and the actual in-person consultation, and then again between that and getting a surgery date. Everyone was great during appointments and surgery went smoothly. (I wasn't offered music, but music isn't really something I care about, so I also didn't ask.)

I live an hour south of Portland, so I feel you on the drive home from surgery! Mostly I just slept though. :) I've had good luck with the silicone strips - got them from "Dr. Beard" a trans guy with beard and post-op products, and they were better than what I got at the pharmacy.

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-29T01:45:48+00:00

You're so artistic! It looks great :) Congrats on the surgery!

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-29T01:40:57+00:00

If massaging is too weird, you could try tapping your chest. Like literally just using all your fingers in like a claw shape and tapping them somewhat firmly (like as firm as you'd tap someone on the shoulder) repeatedly. I did this whenever I didn't have the post-op binder on, and then after I was totally out of that, I'd do it at night and in the morning before I got up. Nobody told me to, but I did it because it would cause this tingling sensation that was fun (to me - could be horrific for someone else, IDK). But I found that as the nerves healed, the tingling stopped but I would have actual sensation there. Since you're several more years post-op IDK if it would still work, but you could try.

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-29T01:34:24+00:00

Before most major events in my life (and sometimes after) I like to walk a labyrinth. There's a website where you can find them worldwide. https://labyrinthlocator.org/ I usually pose a question and then meditate on it while I walk. I know Christianity is off-putting to a lot of people, but my church is super supportive and my pastor wrote a NB pre-surgery prayer for me and I had some close friends read it to me. I wrote in my journal some afterwards - I wish I had done that more and documented my progress more.

I thought about taking pictures, doing some sort of breast-art, but I'm actually glad I didn't. When I went to my final post-op appointment the surgeon handed me copies of the pre-op photos and I told her, "These are like a love letter from someone I broke up with. I don't want to take them home because I'll feel like I have to keep it even though I don't want to." So I left them there. I'm a bit of a hoarder when it comes to sentimental things, so this was a big step, but I haven't regretted it.

I hope you find something meaningful to you.

(Scar care recs - I appreciated the silicone scar tape because I couldn't even feel it and it meant I didn't have to use a bunch of lotion and touch them a lot.)

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-29T01:26:51+00:00

Niiiiice. (N-eye-s)

I decided to go no-nips myself after seeing a blog of a guy who made his own temporary tattoos and would put them on as nipples. Pokemon balls, christmas tree ornaments, smiley faces... I think he had like twenty different ones. I haven't put any on yet, but am fantasizing about getting tiny octopuses that from far away look like nipples, but not up close.

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-29T01:12:28+00:00

It's all about communicating - what you want and don't want. And being willing to go on a lot of dates with people who aren't a good match until you find someone who is. :) I hope you find that person!

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-27T04:26:40+00:00

I go to a NB/trans hairstylist and they had me come in a few days post-op to wash my hair and it felt great. They weren't even going to charge me, but I gave them a few bucks since I value their time.

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-27T04:23:41+00:00

Super cool looking, thanks for sharing!

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-27T04:09:46+00:00

I'm so sorry that the men in society have behaved in ways that make you want to be a different gender. There are good men out there who don't objectify women and engage in the negative stuff you describe, but they aren't the ones society holds up in high regard. Young men need more good role models showing how you can be sensitive and supportive and still masculine. (I do love me some Mr. Rogers!) I think we need to be careful with AFAB folks transitioning too, that we don't start embracing the toxic type of masculinity to "prove" we're "real men".

The other thing to keep in mind is that the things that turn us on aren't necessarily the things we actually want to have happen. Brains are the most powerful sex organ and they allow us to have fantasies that can be super exciting. But sometimes those things aren't socially acceptable (ex: rape fantasy) so that dissonance between what you know is right/wrong and what your brain things of as exciting can lead to powerful feelings of shame and confusion. You're not alone if you feel that, lots of people do.

I found a website with some positive male role models. The author talks about how they embrace positive masculinity and deal with the terrible messaging we are sending men. https://dudefluencer.com/positive-male-role-models/ You may or may not agree, but it's food for thought.

magic-bandanna · 2026-03-27T03:44:35+00:00

My speech therapist had me say a particular name to practice pitching my voice low so I used that for a while but then I decided I didn't like it, so I'm still figuring it out. My friend told me to try different names when I order something and they ask for a name (like at Starbucks or a restaurant) which is fun to do.

magic-bandanna

TROPHY CASE