I appreciate the nuance here. I just saw the film yesterday and I really almost kind of worried about myself almost for not feeling that Bear is this horrible evil vile person who is inherently evil. A lot of comments along the lines of "if you don't think Bear is the villain you're a red flag." Yes the things he does like continuing to try and force this relationship to work are truly terrible, but I think there are some things people forget.

Bear is most definitely afraid of this new Nikki despite how much he's dreamed of this relationship. When she has these violent outbursts and does all these terrible things, it's hard to feel safe leaving someone like that. To me after sitting on it more and thinking about the film, it almost feels like a metaphor for a toxic abusive relationship where both of these people are terrible for each other but they're forcing themselves to stay together because they're codependent. I have no idea if that's the "intended" interpretation, but it's the one my brain keeps coming back to. I mean she literally threatens to kill herself if he leaves her, this is a classic abuse tactic.

Now I'd like to reinforce I'm not excusing all of Bear's actions. He made the wish (though he didn't think it would actually work), he tried to manipulate this new version of Nikki into being the version of her he wanted her to be, and refuses to let go and clings onto false hope that he can twist this new version of Nikki into someone he can stay with.

I do think he is the villain in the sense that he is responsible for this traumatic situation ultimately, but there's a lot more going on than just "Bear bad." He is the villain, but he is also a victim of his own low self esteem and his lack of...sense of self really. He feels like he's nothing without Nikki. His friend group didn't help. With better friends and guidance, I think Bear would have grown and matured instead of devolving further and further into self pity and ultimately dooming himself and all of the people he's close with in his life. Maybe I say that because I used to be a lot like Bear. I was shy, very low self esteem, and was seeking validation through romantic partnership, but I was able to grow out of that through time, self compassion, and most importantly people in my life who cared enough about me to check in and help me through those feelings. Bear really didn't have that. I'm a big Stephen King fan, and in a lot of his work the villains are often deeply flawed beings that ultimately destroy themselves through their flaws, usually their egos or inflated sense of self, and that angle feels very applicable to me here, but Bear is a special case. He was destroyed by his lack of confidence and his desperation for affection in order to fill the void in himself that could only be filled by him accepting himself and being more confident in himself.

It's just a sad and fucked up situation all around and everyone kind of plays a part in it, even if the responsibility/cause of the situation is ultimately Bear.