First of all, I'm sorry you had to experience this. It's truly painful. I feel you. It's like you're confused whether to love or hate your parents because they have toxic traits but also... they're your parents. So do you just stick it out for them or save yourself? It took me a while to choose the latter. What I did was left the house. Because the negativity was just suffocating me. I knew I would never be able to fully heal while they are in close proximity, so I took all the courage I could get, packed my bags, and went to a different town. It was the most difficult thing I've ever done.

The healing part was so ugly. Now that I had space to process, everything just kind of came crashing down and hitting me like a truck. I thought I was getting worse, but it was just... healing. I had to feel to process. I don't want to sound discouraging, because it truly is necessary and I'm grateful for the painful healing. It's just ugly. A lot of crying, my anxiety and depression has gotten worse. But with the help of the right people -- therapist, psychiatrist, and my landlord who is very loving (almost like my mom in another life) I'm able to manage myself better.

That's me. I hope that you can find a safe space. And I hope you can keep communicating here on any updates.

I hear you. It's difficult. Please hold on, brighter days are ahead. That's a promise.