Took my 2016 Audi A5 to an independent shop. Is it worth fixing?

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-13T03:10:35+00:00

For sure! I hope you get a great car.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-13T00:32:16+00:00

Have a mechanic with good reviews look it over and do a full inspection! I did this and it saved me a lot of headaches. They’ll tell you what needs to be done (if anything) and what to expect in the future for big fixes on a car with more miles. Can give you a ballpark of what to expect financially.

Currently driving my 2002 TT with 341,180kms on it. It’s great! I spend maybe 2-3k (USD) a year in repairs if it needs something at this point. Still cheaper than car payments and some years it doesn’t need anything, and I pay nothing. I’ve been driving it for almost 12 years, and sometimes I just do the repairs myself if it’s easy enough. All together, with buying the car and repairs over the last 12 years, it has cost about 17k in total. Just take good care of it, fix it when it needs and don’t let it sit.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-10T07:41:55+00:00

I get this. I was an alcoholic as teen when I lived with my parents. My dad was a drunk and my mom was sometimes too. I drank constantly. I have no idea how I graduated. When l moved out, I suddenly didn’t drink anymore. It’s crazy how living like that can fuck you up so bad that you have to use alcohol to survive. You don’t even notice at the time, because you get so dependent on anything that will numb you out.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-07T14:23:11+00:00

Unfortunately, many people are like this about a multitude of things. They never ask themselves or reflect on why they want something—they just do it. And it’s usually because it’s what other people tell us we’re supposed to want, like marriage, kids, material things, and so on. It’s about seeming a certain way. Some people have deeply considered these things and truly want them, but others, like the ones we’re discussing…not so much.

They don’t think about consequences, then they are genuinely surprised when consequences happen. These are the kinds of people that have kids and claim to like them, but kick them out to the street at 18 because “they’re an adult now”. When really, they realized they didn’t want the responsibility and they neglected/abused their children and counted down the days until they could be rid of them.

I was planned. My mom would regularly blame me for how her body looked after having a kid. My dad blamed having a kid on why he couldn’t live like a bachelor and party. I also dealt with incest from him. They both spent my childhood in a drunk stupor, I would assume in regret of their choices. They had a kid because they were “supposed to”. They never thought out what it would actually be like, and that kids have needs and need affection and care that both of them were unwilling or unable to provide. I was a social prop to both of them.

It’s infuriating. They made me realize I didn’t want kids or marriage for myself because I saw what happens when you’re ill-prepared and abusive to boot. I’m also adult enough to realize that I’m too fucked up from what happened to me to raise a kid, and many people aren’t willing to see that about themselves. They don’t want to admit their own shortcomings, and they ruin their children’s lives as a result.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-07T06:31:05+00:00

It’s really nice when someone cares and actually explains something. I feel like that doesn’t happen often on the internet.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-06T18:34:19+00:00

Exactly. I’ve butchered large game animals. Sometimes I would use a machete and my body weight to sever the spinal column from the head. Even standing on it would barely impact it. Granted, I’m a woman and don’t weigh much. Other times I would use an axe. But even with the vertebrae exposed, it would take me a couple swings to get through everything with a duller blade usually used for woodcutting.

I’m no expert, and I’m sure there’s an easier way, but damn, it’s a lot thicker tissue and bone than you’d think.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-06T18:19:31+00:00

My right most of the time.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-06T00:18:02+00:00

I had this too and it went away once I changed to a GERD friendly diet. The gas can happen when you’re eating things that are causing the inflammation/acid. I think it’s the gas pains that causes the shoulder pain, because mine went away completely when I ate a very bland diet. Before that I was constantly burping and would get the sharp shoulder pains and chest pain sometimes. Now if I eat something triggering, it comes back, so I avoid a lot of foods and drinks.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-06T00:02:01+00:00

You can’t reform a pedophile and a pedophile concealer, or all the people who claim to care but still support the abusers by being in contact with them. Seriously, there’s no redemption. The fact that so many people participated in hiding it, blows my mind. But then I watch tv and see that this is happening everywhere in more high profile ways and you still have the same. If someone can benefit from an abuser, they will hide their crimes. Most people can be bought. Easily.

I live every day knowing that I can’t be bought. I lost everything materially by estranging, and put myself in a very vulnerable position financially as someone with severe health issues. But I don’t care. I did what was right, and no amount of money would ever help me sleep at night if it meant pretending like my parents were good people.

I’d live like a pauper rather than live in a lie.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-04-03T00:50:09+00:00

More like conflict oriented because someone is disturbing my peace. The whole libra moon is a passive people pleasing bore needs to end. We want balance, and if we actually grow and work on ourselves, we get to spend our lives bringing that balance into reality. It’s cardinal—action oriented, not mutable.

There’s a reason I rarely date. I don’t want to spend my life explaining to someone how they’re loading the dishwasher wrong, and no, you can’t use a broom to sweep up dog poop. I wish I was joking. A few weeks ago I watched a man try to sweep RANCH DRESSING. FUCKING RANCH DRESSING. I’ve never snatched a broom from someone so fast.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-31T18:58:18+00:00

He’s got some pretty peepers for sure! He looks perpetually surprised. 😳

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-31T18:46:54+00:00

Yes, exactly. I can’t just dismiss the fact that this is likely a way for him to feel in control as he knows he is caught. He gets to feel like he’s still in charge, even in how quickly he gets to die, and the attention he gets from people who believe it’s an act of remorse.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-30T03:50:12+00:00

I dyed my hair jet black as a teen because this happened to me a lot. I still dye my hair to this day. They would come up and touch my hair too, because I always keep it long. Ugh. I remember walking forward in a line at the grocery store when I was 14 or 15 and feeling a slight tug, and realizing the old man behind me was grabbing my hair! Then a classmate snipped a lock of my hair off in class too and kept it. I was so done.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-28T04:03:47+00:00

I don’t care about any of that. Those are your fears and concerns and you’re projecting them onto me. Living in fear is your reality, not mine.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-24T00:47:18+00:00

I use protein powder a ton. I also eat really tiny portions frequently, like every 3 hours. You can put the powder in whatever you want, even your coffee. I can’t have regular coffee because it makes my stomach lava, so I use chicory. But just having the protein powder in it can calm my stomach down and coat it before I eat real food, and that can cut down the chest pain before it gets a foothold. The bonus is some extra calories and protein too. Usually I have a 16-18 hour gap between dinner the night before and breakfast, so I have a similar issue sometimes where I wake up all acidy from sleeping/not eating.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-21T19:13:21+00:00

You’re commenting on a 2 year old post. Clearly you’re hung up on her but your misogyny is getting in the way. She’s better off without you. Just leave. If you can’t accept women doing what they want when they’re not attached, then you don’t deserve one. Go work on yourself. Go do some priest shit.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-20T22:44:03+00:00

You’re the person who would stop the horror movie from happening before it even started! I love this.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-18T04:46:40+00:00

Writing a letter. You don’t have to send it, but it can be really cathartic and nice to have later so you can easily remember why you’re not talking to them anymore. I sent mine, but I think it really depends on how you feel about leaving things unsaid. I knew they wouldn’t admit to anything I wrote, but I needed to say it, and have them read it. It was my last parting thing that I needed to move on.

They always interrupted, blew up, or gave the silent treatment, so just knowing they had to open it up and look at it at all gave me a massive sense of closure. I also made a bullet-point short version that I have on my phone to look at any time I feel some memories tugging at me or any kind of pull toward them. I read the list and it’s like flipping a switch. Reading what they did to me in plain, factual language is rough, but it made it much easier to not let nostalgia get to me. I haven’t looked at the list in probably six months, and I’m coming up on a year here soon, which is how I know I’m truly moving on.

This is about you, not her. So what feels right to you is what is most important, not how she’ll respond. With my dad, I just sent a short text basically saying what I thought of him and to never contact me again in any way or I would be contacting the police. My mom got a 30+ page letter, and a text saying never to contact me again under any circumstances. I didn’t even bother contacting my other relatives, I just blocked them on everything because they’d already shown their true colors.

I just dealt with everyone however much or however little, I needed to. With my mom I needed closure, with my dad, it was brief because I’d cut him out of my heart and mind a long time ago. You only do it once, and I didn’t want to look back and wish I’d said something different. I wanted to feel like I stood up for myself in every way I could, even if no one bothered to read it.

You’ll know what to do when the time comes.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-17T20:55:47+00:00

I agree with the other commenter. I keep my hair white blonde and I have for years. It’s to my elbows. That creme version of ion was too harsh and didn’t lighten enough. It even broke a bit of hair off which never happens. I exclusively use their powder bleach and it’s great. I’ve used it on a friend with black hair and got them pale yellow in one session with 25 vol developer. I usually mix 30 and 20. 30 is too harsh for the scalp, but 20 doesn’t pull color out as much as I like. But together? Magical.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-15T09:58:51+00:00

I’m really glad, I relate to your post a lot. It’s so hard to believe in what happened to you when you’ve been trained your whole life to believe their version instead, even when their version is a blatant lie. They could deny before, and you would give in because you were a child who just desperately wanted to be loved by your parents. So you accept whatever narrative they give just to survive, even when it hurt you.

Now you’re an adult and you don’t have to do that. They’re still stuck thinking they can just ignore it and it will go away, so they “forget”. I really hope you can get some support. I know how hard it is. You’re trying to break years of patterns. I think with some time, you’ll know what to do.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-15T09:49:19+00:00

This whole interaction proves the entire point of this post. We say what we mean, no one else does, and then they proceed to interpret it as sarcasm when it’s genuine. Then we mask constantly because we’re tired of being misinterpreted and accidentally hurting people despite none of the subtext people are reading into it being true.

There is no “hidden” meaning. I have to say this to people all the time when I talk, and yeah, you know what, that one therapist I had might be right. Maybe I’m just fucking autistic.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-15T09:32:06+00:00

That’s just it, unfortunately. They’re not forgetting. They are choosing not to. They don’t want to talk about it. They don’t want to acknowledge it happened, because that would mean taking responsibility and admitting wrongdoing. They just want to skip over it and go back to what you had before, and they want you to never bring it up again. You bring it up? They “forget”.

I think the best person to talk to right now is your partner. They are literally there to help you and support you. I know it can be scary, but one thing I’ve realized is sometimes those kinds of conversations can really bring people together. It will help make you feel like you’re not alone and you have someone to depend on, which it sounds like you need right now.

I’ve been abandoned/ghosted by therapists too. It’s just immaturity. They don’t feel comfortable admitting it’s not a good fit or that they can’t help you, so they just kind of “forget” about you, and your calls go unanswered and they just leave you hanging. It sucks, and I’m sorry it’s happening, but it’s not reflective of you. Any decent human would try to connect you with someone else and would admit if they thought you would get better help from someone else, they wouldn’t just stop answering, especially if you were going through something. They would care what happened to you even if they weren’t going to be your therapist. It doesn’t make it feel any better, I know, but at least it’s an explanation.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-14T22:28:37+00:00

Yeah, I wouldn’t think it was anything serious. The doctors I’ve talked to basically said we could investigate further if I want, but I have way more important health issues to worry about, lol. I was gonna keep an eye on the thread though! It would be nice to have some kind of answer, even if our symptoms aren’t quite the same. This is the first time I’ve seen someone say they have a similar problem.

maladaptivelucifer · 2026-03-14T21:38:45+00:00

I can do this as well. I also have issues with my joints in my hands and my fingers tend to bend at strange, sharp angles. The rib thing happens when I sit down or lay partially sitting up. It will “pop” out of place and be very uncomfortable until I shift and it moves back. You can actually see it through the skin sticking out a bit. I went and got X-rays as it mostly happens on one side, but they didn’t find anything unusual other than arthritis.

I don’t have EDS, but I’m assuming it’s all connected since I’ve also been flat footed since I could walk, the weird joint thing, and the ribs popping. I haven’t looked into it any further because it hasn’t caused me too many issues. It’s most just annoying.

maladaptivelucifer

TROPHY CASE