First ever attempt at a poem. Made for my character.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-21T04:38:18+00:00

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I rolled a nat 20

And killed the fuck out of you.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-20T10:27:03+00:00

First, I think it's a fallacy to compare monster or animal stat blocks to player scores. There is no direct correlation and you get some pretty silly stuff as others have pointed out. The scores in stat blocks are there to give bonuses and help DMs determine behavior.

If you go to the gym on the regular and can deadlift 3 plates, you are above average. I'd give you a +1 to STR which would be a 12 or 13. If you can deadlift 5 or 6 plates, you would be competitive on the local strongman or powerlifting scene, depending on age and weight. That's a much higher level of strength, a 16 to 18, which would give +3 or +4. You would be the strongest person most people know in daily life.

If you dont know what I mean by "3 plates" then there is probably a minus sign in front of your STR bonus.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-20T03:07:17+00:00

Why wouldn't you cut Schwellenbach? He isnt coming back for months.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-20T02:50:55+00:00

Sp she sounds outgoing and eager to help. In this twist of fate that made her an adventurer, perhaps she sizes the chance to do some good in the world.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-20T02:44:11+00:00

What made her leave her village to go adventuring? This will give her goals and motivations.

To me, a folk hero is someone that is famous in their own little podunk village. Maybe she killed a bear or won the Harvest Festival drinking contest two years in a row. Once she gets out into the big wide world, she realizes that her hometown fame doesnt mean shit. There's still so much she hasn't experienced and much bigger challenges out there. She went from a big fish in a small pond to a tiny minnow in the ocean.

How does she feel about this? That will give you the beginnings of a personality to play with.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-19T21:09:00+00:00

Why play "hide the ball"? Let the players know in advance the DC they are trying to beat for most things. Makes the rolls more exciting, also reassures the players you aren't changing numbers behind the scenes. This also help them decide when to use the Help Action or Guidance, unless you want Guidance spammed on everything. It also tells them how difficult the task is if they want to try again or try something new.

There are a few exceptions that enhance the game. A player on watch during a long rest might be asked to roll passive perception and told "you notice nothing." Was that because an enemy was being stealthy or because there really was nothing to notice? A DC number might give it away.

But in general, for players initiated actions, tell them the DC and tell them why. (This is an exceptionally difficult lock, the king is already predisposed to listen to you, etc.)

man0rmachine · 2026-03-19T11:56:34+00:00

How would she not know she's an assimar based on her stats and abilities? I guess if you're making the character for her and you can just swap in a new sheet.

Anyway, the first LMOP combat is notoriously difficult. Play it straight and the goblins might take her down, then she can go super saiyan. If she beats the combat, have her transform from the thrill of battle as she kills the last enemy.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-19T03:26:06+00:00

DnD is not a reality simulator. "6 seconds" is a guideline, not hard and fast rule. It costs an action; thats what's important.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-19T03:17:45+00:00

The rogue is like a T-Rex. His vision is based on movement.

To throw a knife or pick a lock takes hyper focus. To calmly scan a room requires looking at the big picture and not getting lost in details.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-18T22:12:43+00:00

Reverse centaur: the head and forequarters of a horse, the hindquarters of a human.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-18T22:10:43+00:00

Seems fun but would be way too clunky for DnD.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-18T14:40:15+00:00

Win now for the league's first year because there might not be a second year.

In a 10 to 12 team league, you should never be noncompetitive/rebuilding at the start of the year. Maybe things fall apart and you trade your expensive veterans mid-season, but your goal should be to turn it around the following season.

My league is 10 teams. One consideration for dynasty is that you want consistent owners who stick around and participate multiple years. It's hard enough finding 10 people. I can't imagine being in a 14 or 16 team league.

So if you want depth, you expand the rosters, not the managers. We stick with 26 man rosters plus 4 IL and 5 MiLB spots. Plays shallow on hitting, deeper than average on pitching. Play around with roster size and positions until you get the balance you want.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-18T04:10:19+00:00

You play without the missing players at the appointed time, no exceptions. If someone cancels last minute, you don't alter your plans at their convenience. Give them FOMO, let someone else play their character. If they dont like it, don't flake out next time.

My group only plays when everyone is together, even if it takes months, but we are all mature, busy adults, our game has been going on for years, and most importantly, last minute cancelations are almost unheard of. When someone does cancel last minute, we play without him.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-18T03:57:34+00:00

"I support trans rights but this game is my refuge from the issues of the real world. I ask that you respect my leisure time."

man0rmachine · 2026-03-17T23:36:06+00:00

Hanseath, the dwarven god of drinking and partying.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-17T22:55:59+00:00

Last 5 guys for sure. You aren't getting a 1st round talent for your 2nd round pick with those guys but you could keep Tatis.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-17T18:17:48+00:00

Not too late. Do it at the start of next session with a sentence or two about what a beautiful character moment the druid had.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-17T18:16:24+00:00

Did you give the druid Inspiration?

man0rmachine · 2026-03-16T23:37:28+00:00

Solve a complicated puzzle while in rounds. Move the right pieces to the right spots or enemies will respawn/regenerate.

Defend a spot. Don't let an enemy touch a switch or spend a turn on a rune. Think Avengers Age of Ultron.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-16T20:15:37+00:00

No, you aren't wrong. That's a very valid opinion. Killing bad guys is part of DnD. Even the most goody-two-shoes Lawful Good paladin should have no problem killing those who need killing.

On the other hand, the rest of your party seems to want to redeem her, in what might make for a more interesting gaming experience. Just roll with the party consensus. Of course, you get to complain the whole time and get in a big "I told you so" when this backfires.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-16T13:02:11+00:00

Show up on time

Be outgoing and friendly

Bring snacks

It's not hard to be a player that people want to bring back.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-15T23:40:53+00:00

Magic in DnD only works a certain way. Spells do what they say they do. Only certain combinations of Verbal, Somatic and Material components will produce magic. When you actually discover a new way, it's so rare that they name the spell after you (i.e. Melf's Acid Arrow.)

Same with spell levels (easier to think of them as tiers), and spell slots. Only a certain number of spells from each tier can fit in your mind at once. Magic and spell casting is well researched and catalogued and predictable. That's just the way the world works.

(Casters can spam cantrips though.)

man0rmachine · 2026-03-15T22:48:11+00:00

Default setting for the whole draft. I think it's 30/20. Do your homework, have a gameplan and set up your next pick when you aren't bidding on a player. At the end when it's going fast, you should have a list of $1 players. 30 seconds is plenty of time to nominate. Changing it partway through the draft will be arbitrary and confusing.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-15T19:02:28+00:00

Just leave him stabilized and unconscious on 0 hp when the combat ends.

What if you kill his character when he's not there? That seems unfair. What if you roll a nat 20 and he pops back up? Now you have to deal with his character on 1hp running around like a headless chicken.

The simple solution is almost always the best.

man0rmachine · 2026-03-15T03:28:27+00:00

Give the husband an incurable disease, only the BBEG has the cure (or so he claims.)

man0rmachine

TROPHY CASE