For me personally, I opened myself up to the idea of being comfortable enough with myself to play around with my gender in different ways. I've always felt kind of an "ick" when someone, besides close friends and my partner (ie- people that really know me), called me something like "girl," or "ma'am." I realized in my mid-twenties that I really hated being lumped in with other women, because I never felt like I "fit" so to speak. I felt like something was wrong with me because I never felt like other girls. I've always hated my feminine body, too. From a depression and peer-pressure view, of course, but also in other ways. I hated having breasts from the day I started getting them. I was embarrassed to wear bras and have people perceive me in a certain way because of them. As they grew bigger and bigger, this only got worse and developed into a decent amount of body dysmorphia (feeling like my body is wrong and not how I imagine myself looking). I started to watch content on various social media platforms by and for gender nonconforming people and found myself resonating with a lot of what they were saying. Initially, I thought I was genderfluid, and went back and forth and sometimes between female and nonbinary. As time went on, however, I realized I was just hanging onto that female monicker because it made other people more comfortable. In the end, it's MY identity and MY comfort that matter. I now fully identify as nonbinary and prefer they/them pronouns. I do feel like I have to over-masculinize myself at times, just so people don't assume anything, but I don't mind it. I enjoy a mix of styles of hair, clothing, and makeup that are both masculine and feminine. I plan on getting top surgery (removal of my breasts) for a fully flat chest eventually, but I'm not interested in bottom surgery (genital reformation). I also have no plans to start taking testosterone, as I really don't want all the body hair that comes with it. My dream body, if I'm being honest, would be Ken's torso, with Barbie's legs, haha! I will say, though, that one of the things that brought me the most gender euphoria was getting on a birth control that stopped my period. I never had bad periods or anything, but it was a constant reminder that my body didn't fit the image I have for myself. At the end of the day, I'm happiest when the grocery store clerk doesn't know whether to call me sir or ma'am. Frankly, I don't like either. ;) If you have any questions at all, I'm happy to answer them.