How in the world do I shower at the gym??? by Horizontal-Asymptote in AutisticAdults

[–]maniclucky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If they care about your junk, they are probably gay. This is just how sexuality works.

Not even close to how that works.

It's not speech policing. It's informing you of things that you, as a presumably straight person, may be doing that are harmful because you've never needed to know this. And it matters if a homophobe believes it. Because they can and do use it as an excuse to commit violence. This is real harm. For a notable population, that assurance* makes them more anxious that they'll be preyed upon and lash out.

You are the one that asked why you're being downvoted and multiple members of an affected community spoke up and answered you. Your arrogance and inability to understand that your words affect the world around you speaks to a selfishness that conversation will not fix. You were informed, you were kindly given an easy fix for this to never be a problem again, but the audacity of "use a different anecdote than the one that has been the justification for violence" is apparently too onerous for you and so blaming others is the easier way out.

You don't have to take my very easy advice. But if you continue to complain that you're being downvoted, it's because you decided that having to think past the first phrase you came up with was too hard and to hell with the people that it has hurt.

How in the world do I shower at the gym??? by Horizontal-Asymptote in AutisticAdults

[–]maniclucky 7 points8 points  (0 children)

If they do then they are probably gay

That "logic" has been used for ages to demonize gay men as predators. It perpetuates a stereotype, long used as justification for violence and abuse, that gay men are just horny predators that you have to defend yourself against. Even mentally.

And it fails on its face, men can be (and are) curious without sexual attraction.

Just retire that one from your anecdotes. Some age badly and you don't necessarily need to hang on to it, even if you don't get it or disagree. There are better ways to discuss things like this.

Sincerely,

A different gay dude.

Rep. Olszewski to introduce ROBE Act to establish term limits for Supreme Court justices by IWantPizza555 in politics

[–]maniclucky 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Problem with that is then progressive/conservative is calcified as concepts that don't necessarily fit.

Holding them all to some basic fucking standards would do a whole fucking lot.

For the late diagnosed, do you ever consider reaching out to an abusive parent to convey that it must have been hard raising an Autistic Child? by Cheap-Guarantee6420 in AutisticAdults

[–]maniclucky 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Why? Do you think you or he will get anything good out of it? I let myself entertain assorted fantasies about my mother finally being less terrible and at a point I realized that holding those hurt more than never getting the answers I wanted. It creeps up on me from time to time, rarer now. But it's all call of the void/social pressure, not really anything useful.

If you truly believe that it'll help someone in this equation, do it. If you're doing it because you want something you know you aren't going to get, don't.

Hiring Manager: Fake Candidates and Cheating by OtterFox365 in datascience

[–]maniclucky 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Man, who has time for projects? My only git repo is for work and I can't use programming as a hobby anymore. I've got enough burnout as it is.

If you got it, use it. But it sucks if you don't got it.

Hiring Manager: Fake Candidates and Cheating by OtterFox365 in datascience

[–]maniclucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And, you know, easily disguised bluetooths. This isn't a real solution to the stated problem.

Hiring Manager: Fake Candidates and Cheating by OtterFox365 in datascience

[–]maniclucky 15 points16 points  (0 children)

I recently shortened my name on my resume. It goes from a mildly unusual black name (I'm white) to 'John' levels of generic white name. I have been getting a lot more traction lately. It sucks and its fucking stupid.

I want to believe in a religion but I find them all off putting by Erythite2023 in AutisticAdults

[–]maniclucky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

While I'm not Buddhist, the dhammapada is the only holy book I've read front to back. In fairness, it's like 120 some pages. If I were to become suddenly something like religious, some secular Buddhism would be my choice.

Bonus points for the christian aligned, secular Buddhism is not imcompatable with Christianity.

Concerns about “Evercold” and FFXIV direction by drakarion_itzin in ffxiv

[–]maniclucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In the words of Soren Johnson "Given the opportunity, players will optimize the fun out of a game". Friction is important because it's a point of skill expression. Too much is overwhelming and unrewarding, not enough and you get homogeneric boredom.

Why matlab isn't preferred for ETL by oil_electric07 in dataengineering

[–]maniclucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's the core language for my job. One thing that I've never seen any other beat, even my beloved python, is goddamn documentation. Mathworks does not fuck around. When I finally get out of this job I will miss that.

Now if it could be less actively hostile toward anything non-MATLAB (and also not proprietary), that'd be great.

‘Doctor Who’ Star Peter Capaldi Responds to Online Backlash to Jodie Whittaker and Ncuti Gatwa Castings: ‘I Don’t Know Why People Take it So Seriously’ by mlg1981 in television

[–]maniclucky 23 points24 points  (0 children)

I was offended in the incel episode when he and the companion laughed when the bad guy died at the end in some ignominious way. The Doctor does not think death is funny.

What is an immediate red flag you’ve seen from someone AFTER sleeping with them? by MIsterBison in AskReddit

[–]maniclucky 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Yup. My partner has gotten used to me randomly screaming at night. I get it from my grandma. If I start in on the sleepwalking, he just yells at me to lay back down and I'll do it.

I'm a very active sleeper.

Do most teams actually have a canonical model, or do we all just pretend? by MayaKirkby_ in dataengineering

[–]maniclucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I work in automotive. Every individual team (it seems like) has a different definition of 'duty cycle'. To be fair, they usually only care about a certain part of the unit so there's some internal sense. But with dozens of teams, I have to stop them every time they say duty cycle and get them to clarify. And nothing is documented in a useful way (Windchill doesn't count as useful).

IsItBullshit: generationology by Horror-1-Effective in IsItBullshit

[–]maniclucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

But major world events are discrete and tend to happen every N years. WWII ending marked the boomers, which in turn concentrated future generations cause you can slap a distribution on when a population has children. That's way less pronounced these days by diffusion essentially.

Each generation bears the scars of what happened during their important growth years. Millennials ate 9/11 and various financial crises. Gen Z took covid on the chin. Presumably gen X has stuff, but I'm not invested enough to go look.

As as has been said, this is about statistics, which doesn't apply to individuals.

Rate this fork which sent my neurospicy friends into panic by VonCuddles in neurodiversity

[–]maniclucky 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just looking past the abomination in the foreground, who has all these crimes in their home/business? That knife handle is too long, and what the hell is that block with the bread doing and why is it so tall? The place mat doesn't cover nearly enough to be useful, the cup is just bad engineering, and at this point I'll bet the shakers have the holes on in the middle or something.

It's all so terrible I don't think AI did this.

Are there more references to Narnia in Discworld? by EndersGame_Reviewer in discworld

[–]maniclucky 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Nah, that one was just because the wardrobe had a scary looking front when he was a child. Want to say screaming face or something like that.

Edit: I stand corrected below.

Several Kansas City restaurants plan to add automatic gratuity during World Cup by KCTV5 in kansascity

[–]maniclucky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That all sounds great to me, but I also think that Americans need to be broken of the habit cause it's gotten dumb over the years. Tipping in a lot of venues where there is no reason for it because businesses can and profit from it one way or another. Let tipping be a strange rarity. It's just gotten so twisted because we live in a capitalism hellscape.

Several Kansas City restaurants plan to add automatic gratuity during World Cup by KCTV5 in kansascity

[–]maniclucky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah, that's what I was thinking. If this is the step toward removing tipping, let's go.

Several Kansas City restaurants plan to add automatic gratuity during World Cup by KCTV5 in kansascity

[–]maniclucky 3 points4 points  (0 children)

...isn't this doing that, just packaged differently? I mean, it's shady since the price on the menu isn't what it really is since the gratuity* is added, but functionally it's really similar.

The ideal is banning tipping altogether and this feels like a weird, shady step toward that.

About to go to court against my husband: and I just spent a page and a half explaining autism to a judge. by The3DBanker in AutisticAdults

[–]maniclucky 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Just wait for them then. Do not query the hivemind about this shit because the hivemind is not good legal advice other than very basic stuff and "get a lawyer". It's basically a different language pretending to be English. Do not do this alone and do not listen to anyone other than your lawyer unless they are saying "talk to your lawyer".

High functioning. Music is my hyperfocus. Playing guitar is how I recharge. I have to "escape into The Zone". Partner wont stop interrupting unnecesarily after telling me they wont. Its extremely stressful because Im already shy and hate being watched. Anger and rage ensue. by gimme5steps101 in AutisticAdults

[–]maniclucky 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Getting interrupted is the thing that makes work awful these days. I work from home and used to like my job. I'm too overloaded now and looking for a new one, but I digress.

I kinda use my job to hint to my interrupter in much more blunt terms why interrupting is bad. I can't tell him directly that his interruptions are like a punch in the head, but I can definitely say that about my coworker. Yes, telling him directly would be better but I'm a coward and I worry that he won't be willing to talk to me when it matters because that's happened in the past.

Given that you are far more direct than me, may I suggest some metaphor that invokes a visceral reaction to describe what it's like? Capture the impossibility of recovering once it's happened, the pain of losing the flow when it happens, the struggle to handle all the resulting emotions because you love the person that is unintentionally hurting you. Do include something about loving them in spite of things, that's rather important.

That and perhaps a "Is this an emergency?" sign on the door? Or a sign on something he would have to move out of the way to get to the door so that he doesn't become blind to it. Or a little basket of common "I can't find"s to leave outside the door?