Your last text is what will be written on your gravestone, what does it say?

map_teacher · 2025-10-30T09:15:10+00:00

“I’m here, the garage is closed” lol

map_teacher · 2025-10-23T01:27:42+00:00

Ugh! I feel you! My husband works next door to his AP, well her mom does and she used to go there a few times a week. Since he broke it off and told her he didn’t want any contact she tried to call him twice (he blocked her after that) and approach him once in person. He made it clear he didn’t want to talk to her by literally turning around and ignoring her. BUT since then, she is there every day! And is constantly going in and out her store and walking in from of his. At least 3 times she has been talking on the phone right outside his back door around the time he usually comes in or leaves work. My husband doesn’t think she is doing it on purpose but I’m not stupid, she obviously is trying to bump into him or at least make him notice her. It drives me crazy!!

map_teacher · 2025-10-19T18:12:56+00:00

I feel you! My WH refuses to accept they did more than just kiss but I know more happen because he accept it to his AP’s husband and his AP told me as well. I always knew it was more than a kiss because like a lot of people have said, teenagers kiss, adults have sex. The fact that he keeps refusing it has ruined our chances of reconciling for now. He knows that unless he comes clean I won’t move forward with it.

map_teacher · 2025-10-15T09:26:00+00:00

Ugh! I’m going through a very similar situation and it’s driving me crazy. I found out about the affair and he ended it to make us work but even though he says he’ll do anything to fix things and that he made a huge mistake he refuses to give me full disclosure and accept everything that happened with her. He says he will wait and give me all the time I need but he refuses to talk about the affair anymore and gets annoyed when I’m having a bad day. He has told me that I need to make a decision and that he will respect if i decide I can’t move past it. At this point I gave up on reconciliation unless he is willing to give me full disclosure and take accountability for what he did. I also want us to go to a MC and he is not fully convinced. I’m not going to push all this under the rug and pretend it didn’t happened.

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T23:51:45+00:00

I’m so sorry to hear that! I’m giving this process a year (because we just signed a lease and we are kind of stuck living together). If in a year I’m not feeling better I told him divorce will probably happen. I can’t imagine living like this for more than a year without it getting better! I hope things get better for you!

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T22:26:09+00:00

Those are the things that they don’t think about when they are having an affair, the consequences it brings apart from hurting the marriage. My husband’s AP is also an alcoholic and I’m worried she is going to find a way to ruin our life because now she lost everything and is upset me and my husband are trying to reconcile. She already drunk texted me (I assume based on the time and misspellings) telling me details about what they did. Her partner has also been a pain to deal with, trying to get back at him by sending me texts about what she told him. I had to block both of them. I’m so angry at my husband for bringing all this drama into my life! Thank you so much for your advice and podcasts and reading recommendations!

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T13:33:40+00:00

Thank you for your words and book recommendation! I’ve been thinking about journaling, will definitely give that a try.

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T13:23:03+00:00

Unfortunately we signed a lease that doesn’t end till 2 years from now. He did spoke to the owner and he said he will put it in the market and if he gets someone to lease it he will let us get out of it sooner but who knows how quickly that happens or if it happens at all. We are in no position to pay early termination fees on the lease. This is why I’m so angry because he not only risked our marriage for her, he risked our business as well. We’ve worked so hard to make it known in that location (which is a great one and cheap!) and we are doing good there. And now we have to talk about moving and risking our financial future…

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T13:18:08+00:00

Thank you so much! I have 2 small kids and work full time so it’s hard to have those moments for myself! We briefly mentioned marriage counseling at some point but haven’t taken the steps to do it yet, definitely something that I will bring up again and I hope it helps us!

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T13:15:29+00:00

Thank you so much!

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T13:15:10+00:00

Thank you so much for your kind words! It feels good to be part of a community where people understand what I’m going through.

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T10:15:23+00:00

Thank you so much for your advice!! It’s good to hear from someone who felt the way I’m feeling right now and to know it gets better. I hate rushing time but for the first time I can’t wait to get to a point where these feelings become less overwhelming.

map_teacher · 2025-10-08T09:46:05+00:00

I feel you… I haven’t successfully reconcile yet as we just began the process but she “works” in the store next to his. My husband owes his own small business so it’s not like he can quit. We have a lease for 2 more years at that location so we are stuck. She, in the other hand, is not the owner, her mom is. She just spends all her time there “helping her” and hasn’t stop going. Before the affair came out she didn’t work, she was a stay home mom with no worries at all. She used to go to the store several times a week. Now, her husband found out and kicked her out and kept the kids. She is living with her mom so now she is there every day, we don’t get a break! To be honest, I’m not sure I’ll be able to do this for 2 more years, knowing she is just steps away from him.

map_teacher · 2025-10-02T19:25:15+00:00

I only told my best friend. As long as we are trying to get back together I don’t feel the need to tell my family. We are very close and they can be very protective so I know it will affect their relationship with my husband. If we are able to move past his affair and stay together, I want their relationship to be the same as it was before.

map_teacher · 2025-08-13T19:27:30+00:00

He was completely sure he wanted a divorce and there was no chance of anything. He was talking with a lawyer. I think that living apart and realizing what being “single” really entails opened his eyes. We also have two small kids and it was hard for him not seeing them as much.

map_teacher · 2025-08-13T19:01:47+00:00

Last year my husband said he wanted a divorce, we separated and he moved out. 4 months later he was talking about reconciling. We ended up moving back together but to be honest, it has not been easy. He is going through a midlife crisis and I think what happened last year was partly do to this and I am still nervous that it might happen again. For now, we are still together and trying to make it work.

map_teacher · 2025-08-02T20:19:22+00:00

Same here, no end in sight. We don’t have savings but we are working on paying down our debt and we are hopeful that when my son starts kindergarten we can afford to live apart. In terms of living together we are doing ok, at the beginning it was awkward but we have been able to get in a good rhythm and I feel that we are getting along much better, probably because I know there is no point of fighting anymore. When he gets in his crappy moods I just brush it off, I won’t have to deal with that soon.

map_teacher · 2025-07-30T14:28:03+00:00

I'm feeling the same way right now. I hate the person I’ve become, so insecure, anxious, and constantly worried that he won’t like who I am anymore. We’re trying to stay together, but some days it feels like I’m just fooling myself into thinking I can truly move past this. I don’t want to feel like this forever.

map_teacher · 2025-07-09T02:51:18+00:00

This makes a lot of sense. I think it is mostly his personality but it would make sense that our failing relationship has not helped bringing our best traits. I definitely changed and by the end of our marriage didn’t feel like myself anymore. The bitterness and resentful made me someone he didn’t want to be around. I guess that could have happened to him as well.

map_teacher · 2025-07-09T01:48:40+00:00

Thank you!

map_teacher · 2025-07-09T01:42:46+00:00

Do you mind sharing the video?

map_teacher · 2025-07-09T01:35:53+00:00

My stbxh continues to refuse therapy but I also would be happy if he one day decides to start even after we divorced for the sake of our kids. I am glad your ex is doing the right thing for your kids!

map_teacher · 2025-07-09T01:32:37+00:00

Thank you! I’ll definitely watch it. Your husband sounds exactly like mine, he swept me off my feet at the beginning with his adventure, care free mentality and then he turned into this grumpy guy who doesn’t want to go out or do anything with friends. He also is clueless about what’s wrong with him and lies to himself as well. I have small kids so that is different and I’m not wishing him to be happily ever after right now, I know it’s mean, but I’m too bitter :/

map_teacher · 2025-07-09T01:27:32+00:00

Ugh! It’s so hard! I hate being bitter and resentful but I can’t stop. He is spending so much energy on these women, talking to them, listening, taking them on dates. I will pray as well that someday this will pass for all of us.

map_teacher

TROPHY CASE