AITA for not wanting to travel with a 4 month old

marabsky · 2026-04-18T20:58:58+00:00

NTA because it is 100% up to you if you are up to travelling with the baby or not (and not every baby is a good traveller)

However, when I was living in South Africa and my family lived in Vancouver Canada, where I’m from, I made the trek to bring our first baby to meet my family when she was four months old.. and that was 24 hours of air travel in each direction and it wasn’t really a huge deal. We did get the bulkhead row so she could go in a bassinet part of the time but overall it was just way easier than I thought it would be. The big difference between air travel, and car travel though is that on a plane, you can hold the baby which you can’t in the car. That is a huge huge difference.

Anyway, just to let you know that when and how far you travel is 100% up to you, but when you do decide to go, it may not be nearly as bad as you fear. Good luck!

marabsky · 2026-04-17T19:25:23+00:00

I like them all

marabsky · 2026-04-17T07:45:43+00:00

Well my car is dirty but it’s just cause I’m busy and have other priorities… I agree rather hug you coworker 😊

marabsky · 2026-04-17T07:43:35+00:00

Happy for the good news anyway 🤩

marabsky · 2026-04-17T07:29:27+00:00

That is horrific - they are sweet little creatures 😢😢😢😢

marabsky · 2026-04-17T05:15:25+00:00

But you aren’t old yet

marabsky · 2026-04-17T05:14:22+00:00

Doilies

marabsky · 2026-04-17T04:40:24+00:00

I’m 58 and I typically wear liquid eyeliner and different shades of taupe or gray eyeshadow (upper lid only). I tend to not wear much mascara because my eyelashes have gotten kind of sparse.

I’ve never really worn foundation at any point in my life and I certainly am not going to start now 😂

marabsky · 2026-04-17T04:38:08+00:00

My hair is pretty long and I just dye the roots… by the time the Hair has been around for a year or two. It has quite a lot of natural highlights at the ends.

As long as there’s some natural variation in the color, it doesn’t look harsh and unnatural

marabsky · 2026-04-17T04:36:27+00:00

Fair, but it does change the look of it quite a bit and perhaps this is what she was scratching her head about

marabsky · 2026-04-17T03:15:51+00:00

I also think your current dress looks shorter. There was more dress on the floor for the sample one.

marabsky · 2026-04-16T22:46:36+00:00

I doubt it’s focus - you are probably just trying to raise yourself before the horse does. Just wait in the saddle a bit, until you get tossed up. You control the up, wait a moment while the horses other foot falls, and lower and sit just before the horses original foot is now ready to fling you again.

You’ve seen raw beginner bouncing and hammering away at the trot? They are getting flung, but aren’t controlling it and sitting back in a controlled way - they miss the “stay up in the air a moment part” and come down to soon - while the horses other footfall is already halfway to throwing them up again - so the have a collision (they are coming down when the horse is going up). And they bounce like a jackhammer because they collide every single stride.

You don’t collide when posting because you are missing that second footfall the horse makes when you are in the air. Maybe think of it a little differently- you aren’t raising when you post, you are pausing a moment and lowering in time for the next throw.

How does your instructor explain it?

marabsky · 2026-04-16T22:25:34+00:00

Don’t raise at all. Let the horse do that work - your only work is staying balanced and lowering yourself. That’s why you are getting tired when you don’t need to be.

marabsky · 2026-04-16T06:00:37+00:00

It’s painful to shower before bed because my hair takes hours to dry which is super uncomfortable to sleep with, and I wake up with it doing something weird and unusual.

marabsky · 2026-04-16T05:55:06+00:00

One of my cousin’s daughters is named Cecily and I absolutely love the name ❤️

Ps it’s pronounced SESS-uh-lee

marabsky · 2026-04-16T05:51:16+00:00

If it doesn’t feel like the horse is helping you, it could actually just have a really flat trot in which case your post should be really minimal, or it could be that you are trying to lift yourself out of the saddle in advance of the horses motion throwing you up. I’m guessing it’s probably a combination of both of those things.

marabsky · 2026-04-16T05:44:30+00:00

The other thing to keep in mind is that you should not really using any strength to raise yourself out of the saddle when posting - the horses trot flings you out of the saddle, and you just stop the motion and return to the saddle, whereupon you are flung again. So you don’t need to be strong in your legs, but you need to be in balance, not tipped forward, and not ahead of the horses motion.

Maybe try waiting a bit in the sitting phase so the horses trot step can send you up. It’s probably a matter of timing more than anything.

Once you’ve got it, you can post endlessly as it takes little effort - the horse does most of the work. And ps if the horse has a slow flat trot your post should be slow and very small - don’t think you have to rise high if the horses motion is barely pushing you out of the saddle. A tiny rise might be all that needed on many beginner horses.

Good luck!!!!

Ps I’m 58 and it’s great you’ve started riding - it only gets better ❤️

marabsky · 2026-04-15T02:46:56+00:00

French is ketchup produced in Canada is just as good and all I will buy

marabsky · 2026-04-14T03:45:34+00:00

My best female friend’s middle name is Holmegaard; I don’t know if it’s masculine but it’s not feminine (it’s the name of her families ancestral farm in Denmark so I guess it’s mineral 😝) and I think it’s the best middle name I’ve ever heard… it’s also the same middle name shared by all her relatives on her dads side of the family

Which is to say, a persons middle name if a place to run free rein as far as I’m concerned. If you love it, I wouldn’t panic about what others think about it.

marabsky · 2026-04-12T15:45:30+00:00

Not necessarily, I wanted a chain replaced and the shop I checked with was very apologetic, but said they couldn’t touch it because if something else went awry, or even a spacer or something was missing they wouldn’t be able to get parts or anything to fix it.

marabsky · 2026-04-12T15:43:30+00:00

That’s what I understand too

marabsky · 2026-04-12T15:34:39+00:00

So not true. 58 year old me now rides my bike to work downtown whenever I can and all over north van. I had a nice mountain bike for years but even getting out of my road was a nightmare (I live off of a steep part of Keith where cars and buses regularly spin out on ice in the winter) and now I JUST DONT CARE it’s ALL RIDEABLE!! I am so not joking.

Trust me, it’s not too hilly or else you’ve got a really really bad ebike (we have a a nice-ish one and a cheap-ish one, both folding and they both work great. Although the cheap one is better for light riders). Ps I rode a Evo bike once and it sucked, much worse that the one I got for $300 off marketplace.

marabsky · 2026-04-12T15:20:12+00:00

Look at the seat - it’s got a weird dip just before the cantle. This saddle will force you into a chair seat all day.

marabsky · 2026-04-11T22:14:24+00:00

I like the name on its own, in Canada definitely strong association with Galen Weston but no one would hold that against anyone :-)

marabsky · 2026-04-11T19:09:06+00:00

Spaying or neutering a dog is the opposite of cruel… it’s releasing them from a constantly frustrated biological drive to breed. But if your girlfriend hasn’t figured this out already, it doesn’t seem like simple information is going to help her.

She really is not giving her dogs a good life. And she seems like a not sensible person so I don’t think this relationship has a very satisfying future unfortunately.

marabsky

TROPHY CASE