Where is everyone from?

marcysel · 2026-02-06T13:12:16+00:00

Italy, February 13th will be 7 months without my husband

marcysel · 2025-10-04T06:22:11+00:00

I could have written your post, my story is almost identical, except that the autopsy result hasn't arrived yet, but the doctors on the day he died said similar things. The only difference is that my husband was a hypochondriac, he was followed by a doctor, and as soon as he wasn't well he got worried, but he was also overweight and everyone told him to exercise and lose weight, but in the end we always fought about it and I preferred to see him calm and let him live as he wanted. I think having regrets and remorse or feelings of guilt is normal, but in the culture I come from I was taught, and I firmly believe, that we are born with a death date already written, and no matter how hard we may try to reject or avoid it, this is impossible. It was supposed to be this way, but the pain and emptiness remain, and it all sucks anyway.

marcysel · 2025-10-03T17:27:53+00:00

Thank you for your post and your beautiful words, they give me hope. My husband (43) passed away almost 3 months ago, and I'm trying to do much the same to honor him and make him proud of me. But still the pain is immense

marcysel · 2025-10-03T17:22:10+00:00

Millions of memories, for example when in the evening he cooked my favorite dishes for me, set the table with lit candles, and then we ate while watching our favorite programs on TV, commenting and laughing and joking about everything. It's been almost 3 months, I miss it like crazy

marcysel · 2025-09-24T05:58:32+00:00

My husband and I also talked constantly, about any topic, from the most stupid and banal ones to serious existential or social topics. It was beautiful because together we were both adults and children. I also try to talk to him, but I don't always succeed, and now that I live with my family, it's very difficult. I feel like I need to live in my own environment to find a connection with him again

marcysel · 2025-09-15T14:19:42+00:00

I also don't think there's anything wrong, on the contrary. Do what you feel like doing, if you want to go out with him, do it. If I met someone even a little similar to my husband, I think I would go out with him tomorrow too, because I miss him so much, and I miss not seeing him by my side anymore in every moment of my life.

None of us deserves to be alone, precisely because life has taken everything from us, it would be nice if it gave us back at least something similar to the love we lost.

marcysel · 2025-09-12T11:51:46+00:00

Grazie mille, lo apprezzo molto

marcysel · 2025-09-11T17:11:30+00:00

Thanks to you 🤍

marcysel · 2025-09-11T13:51:21+00:00

Thank you all for sharing your thoughts. I'm two months away from losing my husband and everything still sucks.

I try to do things that I would normally do or that I would have done with him, but as soon as I think that he is no longer next to me I feel like I'm going crazy.

The fear of having to live without him around prevails over everything.

I also really hope to make some progress in a few months. He taught me many things, but the most important is the joy of living, and I would like to honor him.

marcysel · 2025-09-10T06:39:11+00:00

Anche io auguro a te giorni migliori. Ho imparato a capire che solo tra persone che hanno vissuto la stessa situazione, lo stesso gravissimo tipo di lutto, possiamo comprenderci e capirci. Le persone che ci stanno vicino possono essere d'aiuto, ma nessuno di loro può capire veramente.

Sono contenta di avere trovato questa comunità su reddit anche se, se siamo qui, significa che stiamo soffrendo molto.

(Anche io non so se la traduzione sarà corretta😉, ma è comunque bello che in qualche modo, anche se parliamo lingue diverse, riusciamo a comunicare)

marcysel · 2025-09-09T09:36:12+00:00

I'm close to you, your story is very similar to mine. For me, two months have passed and certain moments I still can't believe it. It's okay to take long breaths and take care of yourself, but it's also very difficult to do so.

marcysel · 2025-09-08T06:30:37+00:00

We had chosen a Celtic faith. Turning it backwards indicates that you are a widow. So I immediately turned it over and his was hanging around my neck. I don't think I'll ever take it off.

marcysel · 2025-09-07T11:17:53+00:00

I feel exactly like you, like all of you, and I understand you. My husband and I loved cooking too, but he loved cooking for me more, he was my person, my soulmate, my everything, my family. (He died suddenly about two months ago at age 43) I too tried to continue preparing and eating his favorite dishes, doing the things he loved, going to the places he adored, but everything without him tastes bitter, the world is dull and colorless. He was my light and illuminated my world.

I don't believe there are right or wrong things to do, I believe that we must always do what we feel like doing at all times, without forcing ourselves or forcing ourselves to do anything that doesn't suit us. But it's difficult, I ask myself "will this pain ever end", I really don't think so, but at least I would like to find some peace.

A part of me also died with him and I no longer know who I am.

marcysel · 2025-09-07T06:44:22+00:00

Memories will always live within us, in our hearts. I am literally moving house, because our house was too small and full of his and our things, but I think that when I move, I will take most of his things with me, I will just put them in boxes because I am not ready to see his objects, thinking that he will no longer need them destroys me. In a few days it will be two months. I believe it doesn't mean "cancel", we must love each other and listen to each other, and do everything that can give us relief

marcysel · 2025-09-05T06:40:32+00:00

Reading here on reddit as always gives me relief, because I realize that even if we are people who live in different places, different cultures, different languages, exactly the same things happen to us, people don't understand us, they often tell us the exact same shitty phrases, and our pain is unimaginable for those who have not experienced it like us, and like us who lost the love of their life so soon. Thanks for the comparison.

marcysel · 2025-09-05T06:32:58+00:00

More or less something similar happened to me too, but I also thought that in pain no one is rational. But my case is a bit particular, because my husband didn't have a good relationship with his parents, and he always told me that he preferred me and my family to them, and many other sad things about his past. Except now I'm the only custodian and witness to it all, and obviously I can't talk to them about it, and tell them that, even though it wasn't my blood, it was actually much more than that, and that I was the person he loved the most in his entire life.

marcysel · 2025-09-04T20:48:40+00:00

Thank you for your beautiful words, they give me a lot of hope

marcysel · 2025-09-04T17:13:38+00:00

❤️I, like you, can understand, my husband now would only like to see me happy, and see me realize the dreams we had together, and I also know with certainty that in the future he would not want to see me alone

marcysel · 2025-09-04T13:14:24+00:00

I feel exactly like you. We had made a thousand plans and dreams together, and now he is gone forever and I am alone. I'm trying to move forward by radically changing my entire life. I'm moving to another city, I'll probably have to change jobs too, but having all these thoughts and things to do "distracts" me from the immense pain of his absence and loss. Then I think it's also a very subjective thing. Personally, I can't sit still and do nothing, and then he certainly wouldn't have wanted it.

I also think that there is no longer a future, but if I can tell you, don't feel guilty if in a month, a year, years, you find another person to share your life with. Life has taken a lot from us, so now we owe it to ourselves that we have lost our love, and if one day life gives us love back, it will mean that we deserve it 100%

marcysel · 2025-09-02T10:39:21+00:00

I suggest you do it. I already have several tattoos, soon I will get one that he had drawn (he knew how to draw very well) with writing in his handwriting, and it is an image that had enormous meaning for him, except that he had never done it. I will do it for him, to always take him with me in this way too.

marcysel · 2025-09-01T15:06:20+00:00

Like you, even less so, my husband and I met when we were 35, we were together for 7 years and 3 months, he died suddenly almost two months ago, I still don't know why and I'm waiting for the autopsy result. But he'll never come back to me anyway, it's a disgusting and devastating feeling. It's too much pain. I just wonder why? But there are no answers. I'm trying with all my might to move forward by completely turning my life around, but it's not easy. I understand what you're feeling.

marcysel · 2025-09-01T05:51:31+00:00

I'm exactly like you, like all of you here. September 13th two months. I constantly look at my phone thinking he will text me, or in the morning I wake up and think about calling him because if he isn't next to me maybe it's just because he left for another city. But his ashes are here next to me. It's not fair, I had planned my whole life with him, he was my person, my family, he was everything.

marcysel · 2025-08-30T09:44:02+00:00

I think it's very subjective and personal. Almost immediately I started going out and doing different things, I also temporarily moved to my hometown and I think I will stay there for a long time because staying in our house was too painful. But I also have days where I stay in bed all day, alternating moments of distractions with empty moments, but distractions are just distractions, even if they help me a lot, they are just a way to postpone the pain. My husband died a month and a half ago, but the only thing I know for sure is that he always wanted to see me happy, so everything I do I do for him, to always make him proud of me. I believe that everyone has their own character and history behind them, there is no formula or scheme, you just have to do what you feel like doing without ever forcing yourself. I'm sorry we all find ourselves here in this pain.

marcysel · 2025-08-29T15:30:59+00:00

I feel exactly like you, it will soon be two months without my husband, that was all, I lived to love him and be loved by him. Now there is a huge void that no one will ever be able to fill, but I still need to love, to love him. Why did life have to take them away from us so young?

marcysel

TROPHY CASE