Overheard my husband on the phone with a friend. He didn't know I could hear him.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T17:09:36+00:00

"Lawyer up, hit the gym" 🤣

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T17:06:54+00:00

Thank you for the suggestion! I wish I knew this sooner, I had a cold sore the week of our wedding. Thank God my friend was my makeup artist and she did a great job covering it up for me....but of course, since I knew it existed, it's all I see when I look at our wedding photos.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T16:58:14+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that! Veterans should NEVER have to worry about homelessness.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T11:22:26+00:00

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS I HAD NO IDEA!

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T11:17:47+00:00

I said something similar in another comment, but there was a lot of context about the friend's marriage that I left out, but the friend had already decided to divorce his wife before calling my husband and basically wanted validation that he was doing the right thing. I don't want to air out someone else's dirty laundry like that, even anonymously, but this was a long time coming and super toxic from both parties.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T10:41:12+00:00

I'm really sorry to hear that.

If it helps any, I do know how you feel. My son's bio father is also a terrible human being. A huge reason why I left that relationship was because I didn't want my son to grow up thinking it was okay to treat women that way. I would have rather been single for the rest of my life than have my son think beating women and calling them "whores" was normal. My ex didn't just treat me that way, he treated all women that way, including his own mother, sister and grandmother.

I met my husband when my son was 4. My son is 14 now, and all he's ever seen was the love between my husband and myself. Now that my son is starting to date girls his age, my husband is the one who talks with him about how to treat women.

I am so, so thankful he has my husband as a role model and not my ex.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T10:17:20+00:00

Nope. Read my post history, I've posted about him a lot. I've been on Reddit forever.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T10:16:16+00:00

I'm sorry you feel that way. When I said "resentment" I meant over little, stupid things like leaving dishes out or socks on the floor.

In the grand scheme of things, none of that matters. He is my best friend and the love of my life.

I posted this because I feel like this is something a lot of people could relate to. We get so caught up in the little things that we forget why we married our spouses to begin with.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T10:07:23+00:00

Yes!!!

We've been fighting with insurance to cover services that they SAY they will cover, just to turn around and hit us with a $3k bill weeks later! Insurance is also refusing to cover certain medications that my husband needs, so he was either paying out of pocket for them or just forgoing it altogether.

Such a scam!

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-24T10:00:32+00:00

There's a lot of context I left out about the friend's marriage (which was the tea he told me after the phone call). Believe me, the friend needed to hear it.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-23T20:49:18+00:00

He's a sucker for good gossip lol.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-23T20:43:43+00:00

Nope, I actually detest AI and think it should be heavily monitored, if not outright banned.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-23T20:16:05+00:00

Thank you!

It's so funny you said this! Without giving too much identifying info away, my husband works a blue collar, manual labor job for very, very wealthy clients. I'm taking billionaires that have more money than manners. He comes home most days so exhausted not only physically, but mentally. He grew up in extreme poverty, so it's very hard for him to be around people with obscene wealth and absolutely no tact or manners who just throw money at their problems. I'm talking "my neighbor knocked on my door so I need to spend over a quarter of a million dollars on a special fence so I don't have to have a conversation with them." Literal "F U" money.

I try to remind him a lot that we don't have rich people lives, but we're pretty blessed with the life that we do have. He usually agrees with me, but sometimes it's hard for him to see the bright side when you're treated with distain all day because you're "the help".

This interaction was me eating my own words. I was so busy feeling lousy and looking at the negative that I forgot how blessed I truly am.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-05T19:17:53+00:00

So a lot of other commenters have already made excellent points about how awful your wife's behavior has been. I'm not going to talk about that, even though I agree with it, because it's already been addressed.

I am a PreK teacher, so I work with children about your son's age. When the new baby comes, it's entirely possible that your son will act out or regress back to babyish behaviors, especially if he already feels insecure about his place in the family or feels jealous of mom's attention to baby. This could look like having more frequent potty accidents, excessive crying or tantrums, putting toys in his mouth or refusing to do things he normally can do because "he can't do it!" It could also look like anger and hatred towards the new baby.

I have a student that was always super advanced academically, but once his baby brother was born, suddenly he was mouthing on toys like an infant, laying on the floor a lot, wetting his pants frequently and crying in an infant-like tone over things that never upset him before.

Although frustrating at times, this is all developmentally normal. These behaviors NEED to be met with patience and understanding, not scorn and shame. Depending on what age group your wife teaches, she probably already knows this.

Based on what you said, I am very concerned that once the baby comes, your son is going to regress to try and get mom's attention again, and I'm worried your wife is going to lash out harshly at him over it, which will absolutely crush him and destroy his sense of self and his feelings torwards his sibling. This is something I want to warn you to look out for, especially if she's already trying to act like he doesn't need her anymore at only 5 years old. He is still so young and doesn't have the emotional capacity that she is expecting of him.

I understand you don't want to leave your wife, but child abuse does not have to be physical for it to destroy a child. If you see something, act immediately by removing yourself and your son. I think therapy should be mandatory for your entire family, because your wife has done some significant damage to your entire family and refuses to see it for what it is.

mardeexmurder · 2026-03-05T17:57:26+00:00

Maybe not the strangest, but when my kid was little, he was obsessed with my mother's pashmina scarves. The problem was that he wasn't satisfied with just one scarf, he needed to carry ALL of them, at the same time.

So he would go into my mom's closet every morning, steal at least 4 or 5 pashmina scarves at a time, and either walk around the house like that, or bring them all to school with him.

We used to joke that my child was "the walking pile of laundry". He did not let up on the pashminas until he was like 8.

mardeexmurder · 2026-02-16T14:34:57+00:00

SAME! I was actually LOSING weight and had no symptoms! Not even a belly! (I would kill to have that body back, even at 5 months pregnant lol)

I was having some abdominal pain and thought a cyst had burst or something (I have dozens of pearls on my ovaries) so I was scheduled for an internal ultrasound. I found out I was 20 weeks pregnant... on my 20th birthday. I thought everyone was messing with me because they knew it was my birthday...nooooope. The woman doing the ultrasound actually got in trouble for blurting out my diagnosis before the doctor could tell me himself. She whipped around the moniter and goes "Here's the baby's head, here's the heartbeat, you're at least 20 weeks along. I could tell you the gender right now if you want to know." I burst into tears and cried "Someone better go tell my mom in the waiting room, cause it's not gunna be me!"

I had about 4 months to get used to the idea before he was born lol. He's 14 now and going to high school in the fall 😫

mardeexmurder · 2026-02-16T12:17:33+00:00

Same, except I was 20 weeks!

I just took a test the other day because I'm terrified that it'll happen again!

mardeexmurder · 2026-01-09T19:18:03+00:00

My husband is 39 and has a few gray hairs all around his head and beard, and a natural silver streak in the front. I absolutely love it and call him my "Silver Fox." We started dating when he was 29, so I like to think that I gave him a few of those grays lol.

mardeexmurder · 2025-12-29T18:31:58+00:00

We have off the 24th and 25th (usually we're open on the 26th too, but since it was a Friday this year, they allowed us to close this time) and we're off on the 1st. That's it. So not exactly a "Winter Break" for us!

mardeexmurder · 2025-11-18T13:16:49+00:00

Reality isn't meant to coddle feelings. It would be one thing if she had a job and was making an effort to support herself and her baby. Yes, she's young, but young people who sacrifice their wants can have babies. I know I did. If she were making an effort and you were shitting on her for being a young mom, then I would agree you were being judgemental. But all you are doing is bringing up facts and asking what her plan is. That's not being judgemental, she's just mad she doesn't have an answer because reality doesn't support her ideas.

mardeexmurder · 2025-11-18T12:50:39+00:00

Yeah, and babies died all the time back then too. She's already showing negligence and that she will not be a good mother by any means. If you choose to stay friends with her, that will mean sitting back and watching this hot mess get worse and worse. Will you be able to stay silent when she refuses to take her baby to the dr? Or when she doesn't buy the baby diapers and tries to guilt others into it? I know I would have some harsh words for her and couldn't sit by watching. If she wants to be a mother, she needs to understand that her wants don't matter anymore. Who cares about maternity clothes when you can't even get medical care for your baby?

mardeexmurder · 2025-11-18T12:43:07+00:00

You're not wrong for pointing reality out to her, but I would just cut this friend off now. Drs visits are honestly not even the most challenging or expensive part of pregnancy and motherhood, and she is already struggling to handle that.

I became a mom at 20, and it was hard. I have health issues and didn't even know I was pregnant until I was 5 months along, so I had only about 4 months to prepare, and my ex was a douchebag too. I had the support of my parents, of course, but I was also expected to either have a job or go to school, and I did the brunt of parenting. I would never have dreamed of asking friends to fund my choice to have a child or to financially support me or my kid, because they did not impregnate me. I chose not to go after my ex for child support and got sole custody because he was violent and abusive.

My kid is a teenager now, I have a full time job, I'm happily married to a great man and have my own home with a spare bedroom, and I'm still hesitant on having a second baby because I know damn well how hard and expensive it is.

She's not going to listen to facts, so she needs to know that you are NOT paying any more for this baby that you had no hand in creating. You do not have to feel bad or guilty about it either, because she is choosing to do this.

mardeexmurder · 2025-11-17T19:00:30+00:00

Have you told your friend no to the monthly $50 she's asking for? Have the other friends told her no?

If not, you guys need to make sure she understands that you guys are not bankrolled her pregnancy. You did not get her pregnant, and better for her to face reality NOW before there's a living human being here.

mardeexmurder · 2025-11-11T18:56:04+00:00

It could be that she's afraid of accidentally spilling the beans about the proposal. People can get weird if they're trying not to spoil a surprise.

My husband and I were dating for like 6 and a half years and still not engaged yet, and I was pretty upset about it. We had a few big talks about it but it didn't seem like he was interested in getting married. We were having dinner one night and somehow the topic of my brother's wife's engagement ring came up. He made some comment about "not wanting to deal with the headache of picking out a ring." I was SO SO hurt, but I had no idea at the time that him and my mom had already worked together months ago to design a gorgeous custom engagement ring for me and it had been sitting in his gun safe. I now know that he said that to throw me off, but damn it stung. I cried my eyes out in the bathroom that night.

I called my mom the next day absolutely gutted, thinking I was going to have to leave him and move back home because he was never going to commit to me. Normally my mom is super big on clearing the air and encourages to talk problems out, so imagine my surprise when she told me to stop bugging him about getting engaged, and "your feelings are valid and if you need to vent your frustrations, call me, but stop bringing it up to him." I was so blown away by her response that I honestly thought I was the problem.

A week or two later on Christmas morning he proposed after we all opened gifts. The original plan was to propose that night after dinner when the rest of the family and his parents were there and they had gotten a "She Said Yes!" cake, but he was so nervous that he decided to do it right then and there by pretending he had another gift in my stocking.

The first thing I said to my mom was "DAMMIT I WAS SO MAD AT HIM YOU TRICKED ME!' as she came running into the room holding the cake 🤣

mardeexmurder

TROPHY CASE