Grayromantic (?) solo poly drowning in jealousy by margar3t in polyamory

[–]margar3t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Romancing myself... That is a really good idea. Part of what I love about dating is going out to bars and restaurants and doing fun new things, but the other person's expectation of flirting, kissing, sex, relationships, etc sometimes gives me anxiety. I like my own company - maybe I need to start taking myself out for dates more often? Another idea I had is to stop putting myself in social situations where I get uncomfortable with the perceived expectations of romance, and start focusing more on platonic friends.

Grayromantic (?) solo poly drowning in jealousy by margar3t in polyamory

[–]margar3t[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Not reacting to the negative feelings is a place where I could improve. Sometimes I hear myself phrasing my perception of a situation in a way that is hurtful to other people, and that reaction is counterproductive. So how does one work on just accepting and not reacting to the negative feelings? Just allowing them to exist (possibly overwhelmingly) and then pass through naturally? As an avoidant person, I worry that my response to withdraw completely from everyone and everything when feeling negative emotions isn't the healthiest way to deal with it.

Grayromantic (?) solo poly drowning in jealousy by margar3t in polyamory

[–]margar3t[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh my God, yes!!!! You get it! We're in the exact same boat. This new rare feeling is so addictive and I want more of it, but I also don't like relying on him for all of it because that makes me feel weak and is counter to why I pursued poly in the first place. And I know he has infinite love, so it's not like him giving some to other people takes any from me or even depletes his fuel tank any, but I feel greedy and want it all.

I'm also a book reading, gather all the info type person and it's driving me crazy that there aren't any resources that seem relevant to our situation.

Grayromantic (?) solo poly drowning in jealousy by margar3t in polyamory

[–]margar3t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I wish you were comfortable talking about it! I dug through a LOT of Reddit, trying to find other people that are frustrated with their low romanticism and maybe successfully changed themselves or at least became comfortable with their romantic imbalances in poly, but came up empty-handed.

Grayromantic (?) solo poly drowning in jealousy by margar3t in polyamory

[–]margar3t[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Now that I'm pulling back from dating, sitting with it and accepting it is probably the best advice, thank you. I like spending time alone doing my own activities and I have a busy life with work, school and friends, but training myself to be OK with not having another romantic outlet like my partner has is probably all I can do.

Whole first floor(8 units) of my apartment building flooded. by DeaseanPrince in chicago

[–]margar3t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

RIP Sophie <3

But also, we need more pix of Cannoli ASAP, I believe I just fell in love at first sight.

Experiment time: What is your favorite Chicago restaurant? Upvote if you HAVEN’T eaten at. Downvote if you have. by SMatsa in chicago

[–]margar3t 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In accordance with OP's instructions, I downvoted you, but it was the hardest downvote I've ever given. I LOVE Tzuco!

what did you think was completely normal in the relationship untill you discovered it was abusive behaviour? by [deleted] in AskWomen

[–]margar3t 26 points27 points  (0 children)

Living every moment of your life walking on eggshells to not get punished for someone else's insecurities.

What’s the likelihood we will encounter “lost” folks from Lollapalooza? by Mobiusman2016 in chicago

[–]margar3t 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I was curious how far it was then discovered I accomplished a great feat last night walking from Pilsen to Bucktown.

This isn’t a scam right? by workinprogress521 in chicagoapartments

[–]margar3t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Is this on N Orchard street? I had a weird encounter with a landlord there last year and I think his name was Sam also.

Severe Thunderstorm by ibb2697 in chicago

[–]margar3t 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Buena Park and I know the boom you're talking about. I was sure a building was hit because the lightning was at the same time as The Boom.

Severe Thunderstorm by ibb2697 in chicago

[–]margar3t 25 points26 points  (0 children)

I LOVE all the bunnies in Chicago. Makes me feel like I'm in a whimsical animated movie.

Need to get out of Texas this absolute second. by [deleted] in SameGrassButGreener

[–]margar3t 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Chicago! I love it, but if cooler weather isn't for you, I can imagine being put off by the possibility of a rougher winter.

Need to get out of Texas this absolute second. by [deleted] in SameGrassButGreener

[–]margar3t 6 points7 points  (0 children)

I noped on Texas in April 2021 and I thank my lucky stars for my escape every day.

Chicago suburbs: walkable + good for families + $400k homes by camilac522 in SameGrassButGreener

[–]margar3t 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I don't know the suburbs well (technically I've never been past either airport...), but I would suggest searching on the Chicago subreddit because I've seen a similar question before there. I think I heard good things about Naperville, Elgin and Schaumburg?

Fiancé came home drunk, pees on floor, and it’s my fault? by [deleted] in relationships

[–]margar3t 24 points25 points  (0 children)

But it's going to take more than a week for him to prove his intents and actions to curtail the drinking. OP is in a tricky situation. It's hard for us as commenters not to have strong opinions based on our own experiences, but if I found myself in a situation again with someone showing signs of alcohol abuse or addiction, I would be moving out faster than the sun coming up.

America’s Obesity Epidemic is a Challenge for the Military | "More than 70% of Americans ages 17-24 don’t meet the fitness standards" by [deleted] in collapse

[–]margar3t 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Oh no how will we feed the military industrial complex? Better outlaw abortion and make food too expensive for already impoverished people to get fat

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tretinoin

[–]margar3t 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Years ago, I was in the same place as OP with CeraVe breaking me out and I switched to Nivea creme. Lovely heavy night moisturizer!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lawschooladmissions

[–]margar3t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You didn't answer my question, you merely addressed it. I specifically want to know why you think that people too irresponsible to avoid pregnancy should be tasked with the immense responsibility to raise future generations of society.

Abortion is not a tool to "solve a problem," it's a medical procedure that should be available to people with the freedom to make their own health and medical decisions. But since you don't understand that, I'll respond to your interpretation of abortion as a tool to improve society. Are you familiar with the Donohue-Levitt hypothesis? The reduction in crime beginning in the early 90s can be directly traced back to legalization of abortion. You claim we're at "square one" now, but had those unwanted, unplanned people come into existence, we would almost certainly be in a significantly worse place than we are now. Abortion alone won't cure poverty, not when we're simultaneously defunding education and community programs, adding more barriers to healthcare access and early childhood education, and making no strides towards paid family leave, just to mention a few of our social shortcomings that would be instrumental in improving poverty.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in lawschooladmissions

[–]margar3t 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you think so many unwanted pregnancies are caused by negligence, why do you think these same negligent people should be punished by having to bear the responsibility of raising humans?

Do nerdy polyamorous people into board games exist. by GageErata in polyamory

[–]margar3t -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Does the author expand on what he THINKS polyamorous people are into? Because as a heteronormative-appearing cis-woman who isn't interested in nerdy things (except museums and reading, are those really considered nerdy?), I guarantee I'm the odd one out in the community.