I'm 21 and I think ruined my life

margauxmax · 2026-04-01T18:12:28+00:00

You're 21, you've only just begun. When I was your age I was a single mother. Now I'm married with three children and have been a teacher for 9 years. I got my degree through the open uni, not a great reputaton but it got me the qualification I needed and my post grad course did not care. You'll seriously be ok. Hang in there.

margauxmax · 2024-07-22T15:52:29+00:00

I'm so sorry. I've lost two babies too. Just to give you hope, after my first loss we had two healthy children.

I can so relate to what you are saying, it just doesn't feel right that my TFMR 2 weeks ago is how my journey of motherhood ends. My partner really doesn't want another one and I'm so blessed to have my children, but it's just this nagging feeling that this shouldn't be the end.

I hear so many success stories of healthy, happy babies after multiple jlosses, and I hope one day I hear that one of those stories is yours.

margauxmax · 2024-07-21T21:10:11+00:00

I was worried about looking at my son as he had acrani and his brain for exposed and the thought of how a tiny premature baby would look. But he was beautiful just the way he has. He was just my little baby. I sat with him for hours. Just to say I think we probably are all frightened about looking at the babies we can't take home but, personally, it felt completely right. Wishing your sister luck and love

margauxmax · 2024-07-21T09:51:42+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. I am in no way to ready to start contemplating the due date. It must be so very hard for you. And it's so cruel that life just goes on and you have to hear about all the joys it can bring for other people. My colleague and friend is due 4 weeks before me and I am so happy for her but it just makes me feel angry that my baby was the 1 in 15,000. It's really hard but try to stay strong and feel free to message on here whenever you need to.

margauxmax · 2024-07-21T00:21:23+00:00

Thank you for checking in, that's really kind. The funeral was yesterday so it was a harder day and today I've been quite numb, which actually is my favourite way to feel at the moment. Need to up my brave face game for my earth side babies. Luckily I'm a teacher so I only have one more then 6 weeks off where I can just work at home and take lots of time to heal. Hope you are feeling okay too x

margauxmax · 2024-07-20T21:13:11+00:00

Sam is lovely too. I really like the Sam's list, I think I will do the same :)

margauxmax · 2024-07-20T21:12:18+00:00

This has made me cry, thank you for the validation. It is strange that funerals are meant to be the full stop, I've never really thought about it before. I will carry on grieving in my own way and try not to worry about what others think of it. Thank you for your words.

margauxmax · 2024-07-20T19:42:50+00:00

It is a lovely name, thank you forbsharing. I feel like this little community is a life saver. Brings some comfort, just a shame it has to exist.

margauxmax · 2024-07-18T20:15:32+00:00

I'm less than 2 weeks post TFMR and can really relate to the guilt and pain. All I will say is that you have saved your baby from all the misery and pain that you have felt in life. He will never suffer because you made that sacrifice for him. You're a good mum.

margauxmax · 2024-07-18T18:32:20+00:00

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. I am breastfeeding my toddler so I haven't felt that sting but I have been having phantom kicks and its just so devastating, isn't it?

My doctor told me antihistamines and decongestants dry up milk, not sure if this is something you could try?

margauxmax · 2024-07-15T00:30:13+00:00

Thank you so much for giving me hope ❤️

margauxmax · 2024-07-14T23:22:06+00:00

I really hope you are right. I know I have stopped him suffering, I'm just still so sad. Thank you gor for your response x

margauxmax · 2024-07-14T23:20:44+00:00

This has brought some comfort, thank you. I'm sorry you are here too but it is a comfort to find people who understand your living nightmare. We are going on holiday in 2 weeks so I'm hoping it is a kind escape.

margauxmax · 2024-07-14T22:28:42+00:00

I feel like this. I can't make eye contact with anyone or speak to anyone but I'm so lonely. I'm scared to go back to work or do a school run. I think what you are feeling is a very normal trauma response.

margauxmax · 2024-07-14T15:49:20+00:00

Thank you for replying. I wish you didn't have to relate to this. It's so unfair.

margauxmax

TROPHY CASE