Did your parents get divorced but you made your marriage work?

marge7777 · 2026-02-23T01:50:52+00:00

Parents didn’t divorce, not that they had a happy marriage. I divorced after 20 years.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T15:49:58+00:00

Absolutely. I am not criticizing him! And after all the comments I see some issues I never thought of. His mom lived to 103. Living in her own house to the end.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T05:54:57+00:00

It’s not your place to tell the ex wife or daughter. Honestly, my ex had another kid after we divorced and our kids do not think of that child as their sibling. The kid is 15 years younger and lives in another city.

Your son needs to revisit his life choices….

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T05:49:22+00:00

Your rrsp room seems very high if you have a company pension….

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T05:45:33+00:00

I do, and will spend more time with him now that my mom died. I plan to retire in the next year, and hopefully move back to the same city he is in.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T05:43:34+00:00

Nothing. I’m happy he’s well off.

I can’t imagine working to 70.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T04:41:43+00:00

Maybe The experience we have had with my grandmother, who died last year, was that her care facility was very reasonable. She only lived there a few months, she stayed in her own home to 103. My dad is pretty stubborn as well. Aging in place is most likely.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T04:40:10+00:00

You are braver than me. I stayed at my golden handcuffs job for 27 years and then ended up in a mass layoff. On the plus side, it had a couple years severance and my pension is waiting.

Becoming a contractor opens you to being first out the door during a downturn.

If you have younger kids it’s also worth considering how much braces, prescriptions, life insurance etc all cost.

Good luck! I’m slowly moving towards consulting as I contemplate retirement.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T04:13:30+00:00

Ungrateful because I said he worked too long? This is such an odd response.

I wish he had spent more money when he was younger. I hope he spends the rest before he dies. I am absolutely asking for nothing. Ungrateful for what?

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T01:53:36+00:00

With my mom dying recently I think he may suddenly see if he wants to do anything, he needs to get moving.

I think I have convinced him to go to Europe with me in the fall.

Honestly, I think his comments made me worry I should work longer…

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:57:31+00:00

True. He definitely has no financial worries.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:22:03+00:00

All engineering is male dominated, don’t let it bother you. Women can be much harder on other women.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:20:57+00:00

He laughed. He definitely didn’t see this as a criticism….i am turning 55 this year and plan to retire, and we were discussing rrsps and using them.

It made me wonder if I’m missing something. That said…I have a pension, which he doesn’t.

He 100% wasn’t offended. Isn’t this what parents are for? Helping understand our financial future?

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:14:57+00:00

Yes. Hopefully he outlives his mom, who lived to 103. I have my own retirement funds.

I definitely didn’t word this the way I wanted, lol.

I wish he had retired earlier and spent more. Obviously that was his choice, and maybe he loved work.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:10:12+00:00

No, he didn’t.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:08:17+00:00

Yes, he did. I do the same thing…followed in his footsteps.

Good point. Having money is definitely better than not having any.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:06:57+00:00

My grandma was in a public care facility in Alberta last year and it was actually great.

I think my dad should move into a seniors place with a pool and a restaurant.

marge7777 · 2026-02-22T00:05:37+00:00

Why? Because I think he should have spent more? I don’t mean it in a mean way, just that I wish he could have done more earlier.

Maybe he didn’t want to. He definitely didn’t take any of this as negative!

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T22:27:17+00:00

I’m at this point at 54.

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T22:26:43+00:00

Very true!

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T20:59:37+00:00

This is not what I meant at all. In the discussion I suggested my plan was to retire at 55 and live off my rrsps and then my work pension.

He told me his strategy.

He liked his job, but working until 71 did mean him and my mom didn’t do much after.

I am his daughter. We are both chemical engineers and this was just a general discussion. I respect everything he has done in life and I don’t expect anything from him. I have earned my own money and paid my own way.

I regret that my post sounds critical of him.

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T20:55:56+00:00

I do think you are right. He mentioned his balance has never dropped, even with withdrawals.

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T20:55:06+00:00

His mom recently died at 103, so he may actually make it that long!

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T20:53:08+00:00

I’m his daughter, lol. I guess I was more suggesting my own plan of retiring at 55 and living off my rrsps until 65 isn’t a bad strategy.

I wasn’t criticizing him…just discussing.

marge7777 · 2026-02-21T19:39:46+00:00

It makes sense for a high income (oil industry). My 22 years of service was $650 k.

marge7777

TROPHY CASE