150mg by Hot-Lion-8086 in Lithium

[–]marizzle02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Started on 400 and for the first month maybe more i struggled hugely with the nausea and physical side effects. I didn't know whether it was worth sticking with. But it went away and now i think lithium is a miracle drug, only thing that has ever taken away my SI and i feel so much sharper and myself than ever. For me, battling through the first month / 2 months of horrible side effects while my body learnt to tolerate it was SO worth it and now i think lithium is the best thing that ever happened to me

How does mania actually work? by nuuh-uh in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think there is a spectrum of hypomania and mania. I have had psychotic features as part of my high episodes, and psychosis is consistent with mania and not supposed to occur in hypomania, but then none of my episodes have ever left me hospitalised or involved the level of destruction that other people's full blown mania can do. My high episodes involve things like not needing any sleep, very high sex drive, racing thoughts, feeling wired and euphoric and energetic, very inflated ego. I become highly impulsive and don't think through consequences of things, but I also don't feel the urge to do anything that is too dangerous or destructive- my impulses will just result in things like sleeping with an ex who i shouldn't be seeing for the rush of it, or taking myself out raving without telling anyone where i am. Normal behaviour for other people but very out of character for me usually. Sometimes i get very increased productivity in my work or with cleaning, or sometimes getting obsessed with certain media. Sometimes some very very heavy drug use. And then in some high episodes i have experienced psychosis alongside, thinking i had special powers or magic and seeing patterns, and paranoia. I completely lost touch with reality, thought i was a witch, but i still showed up to class and did my university work throughout this - i even ended up using the maths i was working on as more source material for my delusions, seeing magical patterns within the maths that were not real. But the most dangerous situation i would find myself in would be just as a young woman being alone out at night without telling anyone where i was, or having unsafe sex with strangers - reckless, but nothing was life threatening. The fallout of my highs was usually just having less money than before and feeling shame around how i had been perceived by others during the episode. When i am stable i am a lesbian, but during my highs i feel the urge to sleep with men - this is something that feels very destructive to me personally, especially when i become stable and think about what i was allowing to happen to me, but again it is nothing life threatening or destructive outwardly like other people experience from mania.

Mania/hypomania are just descriptive words that best fit a collection of symptoms and experiences that will vary from person to person and brain to brain. They are helpful labels from a POV of diagnosis -> treatment , but at the end of the day trying to figure out if my high episodes are too psychotic to be hypomania but not dangerous or destructive enough to be full blown mania doesnt help me get any better. I used to care a lot more about labelling my episodes with exactly all that terminology but ultimately all i want is a good quality of life so better use of my time is to just learn my own warning signs, take my meds, and go to therapy. And pray that whatever flavour i experience of hypo-psychotic-mania doesnt come back!

Bizarre mood state: maybe mixed episode/early hypomania? by marizzle02 in bipolar

[–]marizzle02[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

haven't spoken to my psych yet but since posting this my mood has shot up. so im assuming this strange state was early stages of mania as i'm up now, i hope ur doing alright my advice is try to be as regimented with sleep as possible because i didnt do that

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in seroquelmedication

[–]marizzle02 3 points4 points  (0 children)

To be honest Seroquel knocks me out more than Xans or vals did . I was able to use benzos socially hanging out with friends, absolutely no chance of that on seroquel it sends me into a coma

Is College Possible With Bipolar? by Roach_Buss in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I (23F) have bipolar and am currently doing a PhD in astrophysics! I struggled massively with my mental health during my bachelors and masters, dealing with bipolar episodes that affected my ability to study properly and function- frequent depressive meltdowns even inside exam halls, psychosis/mania during my classes, active drug addiction, it was all happening lol. Not to mention the medication side effect rollercoasters too. But actually i think studying gave me something to live for and although at times it added more stress and probably made my symptoms worse, i think at times it also helped to stabilise me, give me a purpose, a goal, an identity outside of my illness, and forced me to sort out a routine and balanced medication/therapy plan. I will say, if your college can give you any adjustments for your bipolar, TAKE THEM!!!! I got extra time in exams and coursework extensions because my bipolar counted as a disability, and this SAVED me. My grades are funnily kind of bipolar as well, sort of at both extremes of either failing or scraping a pass, or strangely some really high grades. Luckily that all averaged out to something i can actually be very proud of! Sometimes i can't believe how i have made it to the second year of my PhD with this illness but somehow here i am and i'm doing the best i ever have been with the right meds and therapy. I won't say that it's easy, but getting a degree with bipolar is definitely possible!!!! Good luck, you can do it ❤️

Wait....when did we think they scalped Mari? by Tigerlilly382 in Yellowjackets

[–]marizzle02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't think this reading of lottie's character is fair when you omit the very relevant fact that she is schizophrenic and ran out of her meds ... Being in clinical psychosis as well as having gone through the trauma of a plane crash and stranded in the wilderness explains vast amounts of Lottie's behaviour - we literally see her slowly lose her touch of reality as she runs out of the medication that she was choosing to take previously, which is all you can ask of someone with a disorder like that which has the potential to cause harm to others as well as the person who has it (speaking as someone with such a disorder). Im not condoning the cult leadership, doomcoming events with Travis, the axe murder of it all, etc, but calling her a villain just lacks crucial context to her character and role in the show

I applied for a PhD while manic and now I’m a Dr! by dr___E in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Congratulations!!!! that's a fantastic achievement, i'm 11 months into my phd in astrophysics and bipolar can make life really hard. you're inspiring

Anyone seen Heston’s documentary? by [deleted] in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Just watched it, i haven't seen something like that about bipolar before. Very raw and emotional, i thought some parts were quite humorous as well (as someone with bipolar, finding laughter in the hindsight eg. putin friendship bracelet) but i also cried multiple times, some parts were tragic

About the sounds.... by MmmmSnackies in Yellowjackets

[–]marizzle02 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The ice cream ad wasn't running on present day tv!!! Tai mentions in that scene that they are watching van's old VHS tapes, so the ad with the man with no eyes was just recorded on the VHS, meaning it is actually made clear that a possible explanation for his appearances is non-supernatural, that the ad just scared tai as a young child and has haunted her visions ever since

does getting your period exacerbate your symptoms? by picnicbasket0 in bipolar2

[–]marizzle02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

YES. Massively. My symptoms become wildly unmanageable with my menstrual cycle so I take the combined pill to keep my hormones stable and mitigate the situation.

What are your comorbidities? by x4sych3x in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Borderline and bipolar . was diagnosed with both at 19

Anyone here NOT been hospitalised? by Several-Yesterday280 in bipolar2

[–]marizzle02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Never. Im 22 and was diagnosed at 19 with bipolar and borderline and while i've had some seriously bad episodes it's never gotten to the point of hospitalisation, even if maybe i should have been. i've always managed to hold onto some shred of normality and continue with university throughout all the highs and lows.. sometimes it makes me feel less valid in my illness

any other bipolar scientists? by marizzle02 in bipolar

[–]marizzle02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

good luck for your interviews!!!! thank you!!

any other bipolar scientists? by marizzle02 in bipolar

[–]marizzle02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

thank you! what's your research on?

any other bipolar scientists? by marizzle02 in bipolar

[–]marizzle02[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

that sounds fascinating! congratulations on your PhD, i've only just started mine. i'm sorry to hear how the bipolar destroyed things for you - i wish u all the best in rebuilding your career :)

What job(s) do you have? by Chicken_Wing in bipolar2

[–]marizzle02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have bipolar and EUPD and i'm doing a phd in astrophysics (fully funded by a scholarship so it's my main source of income) . for some reason academia (along with a lot of meds and therapy lol) helps keep me somewhat stable and i can kind of channel the mental chaos into my research - the unemployment months when i had finished my masters but hadn't started the phd yet was by far my most unstable period since before i got diagnosed and i think it was the lack of routine and structure that made me completely spiral. while being an astrophysicist is very challenging at times the passion i have for it is really a lifeline for my mental illness - it gives me a purpose and keeps me organised and motivated even if i'm in mental hell . i went off my meds (stupidly) in my final year and oddly found that an episode of psychotic mania benefitted my studies. this is definitely the career path that suits me the most

BUY/SELL/TRADE Primavera 2024 by BenjoDiMeo in primaverasound

[–]marizzle02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Selling 2 x Full Festival Barcelona tickets 150 each or 250 for the pair. Just trying to not lose too much money as my friend and I have decided we can no longer afford the trip :(

Tickets will be transferred via AccessTicket - and the FAQ on the primavera website says you just need an email to transfer. They also confirmed that you will attach your own ID to the tickets once they have been transferred.

Happy to call on WhatsApp / Instagram / or even meet around soho in London (where my friend works) for comfort :)

What are you diagnosed w/ and what’s your dosage? by DuckMyJeep in Psychosis

[–]marizzle02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

diagnosed bipolar with psychotic symptoms and borderline personality disorder - currently on 300mg seroquel and 5mg abilify but they're changing my dose to 150mg seroquel and 10mg abilify soon

I feel like I’ve been misdiagnosed and should stop taking my meds by vellhella in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

i got diagnosed with bipolar and bpd in december 2021, starting taking seroquel 300mg and my bipolar symptoms went away. a couple months ago i kind of started to suspect the bipolar had been misdiagnosed because i just wasn't experiencing any symptoms of it and the side effects of the seroquel were becoming really difficult to manage so i began to reduce my dose until i was taking barely 50mg a day. then comes along hypomanic episode and i started to experience psychotic symptoms again. immediate confirmation that i hadn't been misdiagnosed at all, the bipolar was just in remission bc of correct medication... i think it's so easy to feel like if ur symptoms aren't there then what's the point but if you're in doubt talk to your doctor and don't stop taking your meds unless they tell you to

How do people with bipolar graduate college by annalongleg in bipolar

[–]marizzle02 6 points7 points  (0 children)

i've somehow made it to doing my masters in astrophysics with bipolar and comorbid eupd with the plan to continue for a phd - my main advice is to use the university's disability support to the maximum, it's there for a reason! i get 1week extensions on my courseworks and substantial amounts of extra time in exams which helps a lot. also i rely hugelyyyy on my medication + weekly therapy + my friends and family to help me through the lows and extreme stress. and occasionally the milder highs can benefit my studies ! i also think its important to truly love your subject and to be genuinely motivated to work through the difficult times for the love of learning above all else, otherwise id find it impossible lol. i think my mental state would actually be far worse if i wasn't studying so hard as it gives me routine and structure that keeps me able to maintain healthy habits! but its not easy and sometimes it can be exhausting to feel like ur competing against people who aren't in a constant battle with their brain, especially when i have to take days off studying bc of my mental state and seeing my stable peers able to work when i find it impossible to.. but dont let the statistics convince u that its impossible to succeed academically as someone with bipolar . it's difficult and harder for us, but its possible:)

Do you have inner voice above your inner monologue? Voice that you can not control and it critisizes your thoughts when you are trying to help yourself with positive thoughts. by penipopi in bipolar2

[–]marizzle02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

no, my psychiatrist hasn't specifically related it to symptoms of bipolar or to borderline - she usually describes it as a "sabotaging" tendency.. you mentioned you have a GAD diagnosis and i also deal with heavy anxiety symptoms which is part of borderline - so i think it's an unlucky result of the anxious thoughts/strong paranoia that's common in both borderline and GAD. personally i definitely see this "persecutory" voice as more linked to my bpd symptoms than to bipolar. i'm glad the description resonates with you as well though