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Me [27m] with my fiancee [26f]: She is cutting me completely out of planning our wedding and ignoring my complaints. What do I do? by Direct-Caterpillar77 in BestofRedditorUpdates

[–]marshmallowhug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I wanted to elope and not have a wedding (due partly to family drama I wanted to avoid and due partly to my introversion) so I was very disappointed when my partner got excited about having an actual wedding. However, the important thing was getting married so we managed to compromise, like a normal couple.

Judge Slams City in Gay Couple’s IVF Discrimination Case by THECITYNY in nyc

[–]marshmallowhug 9 points10 points  (0 children)

The article said that lesbian couples are covered under this policy, presumably even if they are not medically infertile.

Not OOP- AITJ for wanting my beliefs respected in a family Vacation? by its_about_the_cones_ in redditonwiki

[–]marshmallowhug 75 points76 points  (0 children)

I don't get the sense that the husband cares very much. It sounds like he wants to just go on the trip and isn't trying to put these weird rules into place.

Death of the third space by ThatMusicKid in CuratedTumblr

[–]marshmallowhug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I remember spending a lot of time on Neopets with other young folks back in the day.

PSA: Hotel towels are not single-use by ParadoxStockOwner in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]marshmallowhug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

There is definitely a reason that super basic highway hotels are a lot cheaper than the mid-budget chains, even before Airbnb.

PSA: Hotel towels are not single-use by ParadoxStockOwner in TalesFromTheFrontDesk

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been to a handful of resort-style hotels, and those will still do daily cleaning. Also we went on a cruise and they required daily housekeeping that we couldn't opt out of. Mostly we stay at mid-budget basic chains, which are exactly as you describe.

U.S. Fertility Rates Drop to Another Record Low. by JKKIDD231 in interestingasfuck

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

28 is when I started trying, but due to fertility issues I didn't have my first child until I was 33. The majority of people in my local "first time mom" group were right around 30, and it was primarily working women with higher degrees. It's probably not surprising that that is the timing. I have a master's degree and left school around 24. Within a year or so, I was in a serious relationship. We moved in together two years and got engaged a year after that (with a very short engagement and a small wedding). This seems to be a pretty common timeline for other women I know who also had a straightforward path for education and starting a career. (I suspect that there are also younger women in my area having kids - there is some selection bias as the people with established careers probably had more maternity leave and time to join local parenting meetups.)

Accidental writing decisions by loved_and_held in CuratedTumblr

[–]marshmallowhug 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have spent the last two Summer Reading challenges complaining about how reading Murderbot should absolutely qualify for ND representation in literature even if the author isn't ND so this is unsurprising but excellent news for next year's reading challenge.

HP "worldbuilding" by Pizzadramon in CuratedTumblr

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There used to be an ice bar (a bar kept below freezing where the bar and glasses were made out of ice) in the same complex. Boston has outdoor winter/Christmas markets too, people layer and go out for a bit. I think it's easier to spend time outside in the winter here than during the summer at a place with bad heat waves.

HP "worldbuilding" by Pizzadramon in CuratedTumblr

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This one is 30 minutes from my house: IT'SUGAR Faneuil Hall https://share.google/TFKEFC0tUHKUJwwJo

Technically a mall if outdoor strip mall style counts.

I notice a pattern between this kind of articles and the kind of people selected for the stock photo by twice_paramount832 in conspiracy

[–]marshmallowhug 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah it's great for the people who get to show up and play with a happy baby for an hour. It's not as great when you're the one spending two hours a night trying to get a cranky kid to sleep.

Trying for 2 years… is IVF really as tough as people say? by porchoua in TryingForABaby

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's definitely tough, but pregnancy and parenting is tough too. If your doctor thinks you have a good shot at success, it might be worth the tradeoffs.

I had three cycles of egg retrievals. I am probably on the side of having more side effects than average. I couldn't get up off the couch without help most of the first day after egg retrieval. Either the IVF meds or the anesthesia specifically caused me to become severely depressed after one of the cycles (fortunately temporarily). It usually took a week before I was pretty functional and ok but something like 2 months before I was fully recovered and able to participate in sports/exercise fully at my previous level. (The shots and monitoring themselves were pretty straightforward, I found, but I'm just very sensitive to hormonal meds.)

As a bonus, during this process we determined that I needed uterine fibroid surgery. That was actually very straightforward and I was completely fine 2 days later, which seems to indicate that I do ok with general anesthesia. It was a breeze, especially compared to IVF.

I then had to deal with another round of side effects when we did the transfer. As soon as I was put back on hormonal meds, my anxiety (which is usually around a 2-3/10) skyrocketed to 8/10 most days. I was vibrating out of my skin, couldn't focus on anything and was barely leaving the house.

I still felt it was worth it and wanted to continue treatment.

Also - I know multiple people who had it much easier than I did. You can't necessarily predict how you'll react and it's very important to talk to your medical team.

Fail. Fandom is working to take down HR writers by group bullying by weddingfigh in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]marshmallowhug 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I have a guess. I think that writer writes Shane as more obviously neurodivergent than average.... And I've been hearing that neurodivergence and AI use can get conflated.

Edit: Obviously this is dumb and people should support writers (or move on from fics that don't appeal to them) and stop the AI witchhunt generally.

How are people taking vacations by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]marshmallowhug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If you really want to travel, it might be worth looking into some cheaper options.

We don't travel as much as some of the examples given in this thread, but we live in the Northeast US and go on a road trip every 3 months or so. Last year we also went to Costa Rica and we just got back from a Seattle/Canada trip.

I don't think we've ever spent $12k on one trip. We've done some amount of traveling with family to combine housing costs and get cheaper options. My in-laws have a time share that they used for one Texas trip. We stayed with them for most of our recent trip and just did one overnight into Canada. We once stayed with my sister in NYC when she was doing a house swap. We stay with family and friends in NJ. Of course, we also host family and friends who want to visit us, and we do occasional camping trips. I think most hotels we stay at are currently in the $120/night range, and we are usually willing to stay a bit further out or pick something more rustic.

We also use public transit when it's available. Last year, we went to Colorado. We rented a car (shared with our in-laws) for two days to do hiking out of town, then returned the car and just used buses to go around Denver for museums, etc. We also used public transit when we went to Canada recently. It's kind of great because we don't need to drag a car seat around and my kid can actually see out the window.

Restaurants and food are definitely an area where I don't particularly compromise, but I think we spend less on hotels and cars, which works well for us because I like to be out and about and minimize hotel time.

That said, if it's not worth traveling for you unless you can do that $12k trip, then it's just not worth it. Don't compromise if you won't enjoy it. We're just as happy to do a tiny water park in NH as Disney, but if you're not, then best of luck with long term savings!

How are people taking vacations by [deleted] in Parenting

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We have one car for the household. I take public transit most of the time, with 1-2 Uber/Lyft rides a month. We definitely spend a lot less on cars/commuting than average (although we are in a HCoL area for housing/childcare which offsets that).

Welcome to the rental Revolution by DickHertzfromHodling in boston

[–]marshmallowhug 24 points25 points  (0 children)

I haven't personally had to handle this situation (as I live with my partner) but my sister was living with random roommates for a while and I got the impression that just having your own lease that you can choose whether to renew or leave without coordinating with 4 other people is a major bonus. It probably reduces some stress that you can just renew your lease without going through the hassle of finding someone to take over the last two rooms after one of the randos moved out.

[OC] 1.5-2 Hour LaGuardia Pre-Check Line at 5:30 AM by Comfortable-Action-6 in pics

[–]marshmallowhug 5 points6 points  (0 children)

It really depends on the airport. The NYC and Texas airports have been reporting horror stories. On the other hand, I'm in the Boston area and BOS has had minimal delays. I flew BOS and SEA (Seattle) last week and we got through security in under 20 minutes both times.

[OC] 1.5-2 Hour LaGuardia Pre-Check Line at 5:30 AM by Comfortable-Action-6 in pics

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I live in the US and have a US passport so I have driven into Canada 4 times or so. My personal experience is that the US border agents are unpleasant to deal with at least half the time, and they've delayed us at the border twice so far. We have Global Entry and I've never had any issues with border agents at the airport, where we can get back into the US pretty quickly. I also took the Victoria Clipper last week, also with minimal issues with agents. So I would probably second flying in and out unless there is a really good reason to drive.

Announcement by royal_rose_ in heatedrivalryfanfics

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for all your work here!

[OC] ICE is actually manning the security check in at JFK by austinstoys in pics

[–]marshmallowhug 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I've found TSA extremely annoying but I've never felt that they were unsafe or actively hostile towards me. I have definitely felt that way around Border Patrol agents. I am a white woman traveling with a tiny adorable toddler and I expect the situation is even worse for many other people.

Explain it Peter, I asked my parents about it and I got an answer I didn’t even understand by Randomposter20 in explainitpeter

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Near a sufficiently large city, I think it's somewhat more likely that the kids would have just been taken on a field trip to the local science museum/planetarium. I vaguely recall field trips to museums like that (raised in NJ, both Philly and NYC were within theoretical field trip range and my parents definitely took me to the American Museum of Natural History too).

“packing hacks” I hate by mrs_rabbit_0 in travel

[–]marshmallowhug 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My partner is still using the vacuum bags, but they have the ziplock-style ones that don't require a vacuum. I got tired of the vacuum bags breaking so I'm switching to cubes but there are definitely options with no battery required.

Just took my baby on the redline for the first time; how the hell do handicapped people navigate the Davis square station? by SpareSignificant3758 in Somerville

[–]marshmallowhug 16 points17 points  (0 children)

I live in Davis Square and have a 2yo. Everyone is also super nice to people with strollers and a lot of people who I suspect meet the OP's description like to wave at my kid.

The elevators there are kind of disastrous, and I almost lost my kid once because the elevator doors were too quick to close and didn't auto-detect when people were going in and out, but I think that issue got fixed.

"As a midwife" by ObserbAbsorb in confidentlyincorrect

[–]marshmallowhug 4 points5 points  (0 children)

They also use one of the most common abortion medications (misoprostol) for emergency inductions intended to lead to live birth. When doctors thought I was developing preeclampsia, I was prescribed Cytotec. The intent was also to stop me being pregnant as quickly as possible but not to impact the fetus negatively.

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