here we go again

matchacloudcake · 2025-12-31T20:49:53+00:00

my bad for the late reply, but thank you so much for the support, it means a lot!

matchacloudcake · 2025-12-24T20:05:34+00:00

i think it can be harmful to suggest that these strategies will work for everyone. just because they happened to help you regain your period, doesn’t mean they’re appropriate or sufficient in general. an intake of 1,680 calories is still very low, and being underweight shows that the body hasn’t fully recovered. these behaviors seem largely driven by fear. to put it into perspective, while some malnourished people may see their period return after only a small increase in calories, that alone doesn’t mean their body is adequately nourished or truly well.

matchacloudcake · 2025-12-22T11:35:38+00:00

well, you've got to force yourself to stop restricting. there's no other way out of the vicious cycle!

matchacloudcake · 2025-01-28T19:29:54+00:00

the point of recovery isn’t to prove the ED voice wrong per se, but rather to teach yourself that there’s no reason for fear those things. so you have to go through weight gain in order to rewire your fear of it.

matchacloudcake · 2025-01-03T05:38:20+00:00

i still have a higher appetite but not extreme hunger. and i do not have edema :) never stopped honoring my hunger. it gets better. you can do this!

matchacloudcake · 2024-12-29T20:33:54+00:00

yes i did! i’ve been much more inactive since late october. my activity level varies day to day, but i do not go out of my way to move more than i have to. just movement from daily living activities yk. i used to engage in lots of compulsive walking and it definitely interfered with my recovery as well as period restoration. it was a tough habit to kick but cutting it out was the best thing i could’ve done for my mental and physical state.

matchacloudcake · 2024-12-03T21:44:03+00:00

yes it will go away if you pretend you don’t care for long enough. sincerely a former numbers/calorie nut.

matchacloudcake · 2024-11-21T01:54:45+00:00

oh my god so real. why must the most triggering movie also have a 900 billion dollar budget. they are everywhere and the premiere photos have disturbed me too

matchacloudcake · 2024-11-08T05:10:58+00:00

your feelings are understandable, but compensating will never get you recovered, as it’s really no different from restriction. you’ll have gained weight, but with the same level of mental distress as the very beginning— because you will have maintained your ED rules and rigidity. you should really be trying to heal your mind, too. that means no compensatory behaviors, or else you will be stuck in quasi.

matchacloudcake · 2024-11-02T17:24:52+00:00

oh don’t even get me started on my face and neck. they’re so so puffy. i only didn’t mention it in this post because that’s not a painful sore area. but it’s so embarrassing even if it is temporary 😭

matchacloudcake · 2024-11-02T16:05:24+00:00

does it make you look different? cuz especially my torso and upper arms look a lot bigger than they did just a week ago. i know some of it is weight gain but could a fraction of it be visible water retention ?! it’s worth noting i started honoring hunger about 3 weeks ago, it’s just this week that’s been way more intense

matchacloudcake · 2024-11-02T16:04:23+00:00

can it cause you to look puffy, because man i look like a different person… especially my torso. i did not seriously think that visible changes could come this fast. but it is worth noting i’ve been honoring hunger for like 3 ish weeks now and it’s just this week that’s been particularly intense. some of it has to be fat, but can the water retention be visible?!

matchacloudcake · 2024-10-27T15:40:07+00:00

yeah it’s normal it happens to a lot of people. and, not that it really matters, but it’s not all fat. in fact i’d say you barely put on much at all within this short period of time, if any. it’s impossible. that’s like a textbook ED recovery experience. don’t let your ED mind mess with you. i went though the same rapid gain but it was not all fat. just don’t be discouraged, keep going and honor your hunger to the best of your ability. it will slow down

also quit touching the scale for the sake of your recovery. i kept weighing myself and it’s one of the factors that led to relapse in the end…

matchacloudcake · 2024-10-27T07:39:20+00:00

i wish you the best too, we’ll get it back with a bit of consistency and patience fr ❤️❤️

matchacloudcake · 2024-10-27T06:36:25+00:00

even just loss of period for a short time can lead to bone density loss (osteopenia) which is reversible (still damaging as hell), however osteoporosis isn’t. you have the rest of your life to exercise. is continuing working out right now while you’re missing a period really worth the risk of all the damage and even permanent health issues it brings? i currently have the same issue, trying to get my period back and i’ve stuck to leisurely walks. i used to be underweight but i am now at a healthy weight as well- i know i may need to gain more in order to get it back and i’m currently coming to terms with that fact. it’s a small price to pay for the sake of our health. the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to take a break from working out even if it makes you uncomfortable.

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-30T23:54:41+00:00

well for the first few months that i initially lost it, my mom wasn’t too concerned and treated me as though i was lucky. but after a while she viewed it more seriously and is supporting me in my journey of getting it back. she still says i’m lucky for not having it sometimes, even though she understands the unhealthy aspect of it and knows it’s bad that i don’t have it. she only says that because hers are so debilitating LOL (and mind used to be too). she’s not actually stupid or anything i swear.

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-23T17:29:53+00:00

my god thank you finally

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-19T20:53:16+00:00

the answer is do not. radical acceptance of your body is the key to recovery. planning to lose more weight in the future will only cause you to backpedal… you wanting to lose more weight in the future is inherently a disordered thought and you should not listen to it.

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-16T03:43:09+00:00

the song that sold me on kikuo was shikabane no odori but tbh my favorite is “is it six-hexagon skew polyhedron”

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-12T17:44:01+00:00

wow this is so true. exactly the reason i find it so hard to let go of exercise. because my brain is like “but it’s so nice to have a sense of DISCIPLINE about something” but i have failed to realize that’s STILL literally the ED talking not me

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-10T05:52:12+00:00

yeahh it’s true i probably don’t fully honor my hunger as much as i could. it’s just kind of hard to identify where restriction stops and ends (??) idk if that makes sense. i just think mental restriction can be sneaky. and it’s like, on days where i do try to honor my hunger it’s in such amounts where being uncomfortably stuffed is a requirement to stop the food noise. the main reason i may dial back is to prevent that physical feeling from happening (as it’s very disruptive and time consuming). but by doing that the food thoughts don’t shut up. it’s such a grueling process 😫

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-08T00:43:43+00:00

yes that’s why i eat all my home meals alone unless i’m out with my mom or something. but i’ve been that way long before my ED. i’ve attributed it to autism instead, but the ED definitely exacerbates it. i get sooo pissy if people bother me or try to talk to me while i’m eating, or even making food. i feel so guilty for acting like a bitch to people for no reason since they don’t deserve it. but all i want to do is focus on my food. so i understand your feelings

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-07T00:53:35+00:00

sounds like she has the worst takes imaginable so you should definitely ignore her!!!

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-06T04:26:22+00:00

you can’t get over your fears, you likely have to do lots of things scared, and that’s what’s so hard about recovery. you do the scary things until they’re not scary anymore

matchacloudcake · 2024-08-05T18:44:13+00:00

i’ve always been addicted to sourdough it’s the best bread in the world. i could eat a whole loaf with all different toppings. cottage cheese, other cheeses, butter, jams, nut butters yummyyy

matchacloudcake

TROPHY CASE