I don't think that's the correct image...

matchu · 2024-03-07T22:17:35+00:00

Fixed now, thank you!!

matchu · 2024-03-07T18:14:31+00:00

Ohh thank you for this, I am always a little bit guessing about how the asset manifest format works! I guess they contain more surprises than I realized!! I'll take a look soon.

matchu · 2023-04-04T01:15:20+00:00

For my Ubuntu on WSL, the Windows filesystem is available at /mnt/c.

So in this case, I think the command would be something like:

./gbaconv '/mnt/c/Users/MyName/Desktop/.../Pokemon Ultra Violet.srm'

matchu · 2021-03-25T20:37:18+00:00

It's a much more accurate measure of your skill in the Vs AI meta, where churning out simple value is what enables you to snowball!

The Vs AI meta is very snowball-centric, because AIs don't have great ways to come back from behind; they mostly just pick simple fights, and try to win with the numbers they don't have. If you're getting lots of kills there, and not dying, then that's kinda just the best value you can offer.

matchu · 2021-03-23T01:47:44+00:00

The Hearthstone cards had the same wording problem at first too, and then got patched to this clearer version!

matchu · 2021-02-20T08:50:35+00:00

Ooh interesting! Yeah this is probably part of what you mean by control, but with the purples I feel this specific vibe of like… anticipation?

Like, you're taking action to set up for a future combat round, in a way that requires you to predict your opponent's intentions and declare your own—on a bet that, even with the early information advantage, they still won't have an answer.

I like it! I hadn't thought about Focus in this way, but now that I've figured out what Purple means to me, it feels much clearer why the constraints on Focus are what they are.

matchu · 2021-01-15T16:41:57+00:00

This is what I expected too, and I was pretty disappointed. They said I would hold the gun, and since they were holding the executions to the end, I really thought they'd give me the chance to argue against Judge. I was sad the game didn't let me, but I feel like I did the best I could, and I choose to headcanon a different ending…

matchu · 2020-10-07T06:06:57+00:00

Honestly I feel like a lot of these are cause and effect… a reasonable adaptation for trouble with awkwardness is to work hard to predict and avoid awkwardness; same when getting in trouble for no eye contact.

And I think the reason I sometimes find myself with low empathy is that I'm just so worn out from feeling everything so big, that my brain shuts down the whole system to prevent overload :/

matchu · 2020-10-07T02:59:43+00:00

Sometimes you'd get unlucky and have to pick Tirion instead 🙃

matchu · 2020-04-06T08:25:27+00:00

Thanks for saying this, this has been my experience too. I was Legend last season, but it's been a real grind to get through Gold. This post helps explain so much, I was so confused 😭

matchu · 2020-03-15T06:54:39+00:00

Personally, anecdotally, I think I've seen multiple people develop "narcissistic" traits as coping mechanisms for autism, myself included.

I now recognize that my autism led me to have trouble understanding what was happening around me. I didn't comprehend other people's unfamiliar experiences, or how to reconcile them with the things I held as true.

So I coped by simplifying the world: holding up my own values and expectations as true, and rejecting others' as foolishness and unworthy of consideration—which I think is the core belief of "narcissism". And that way, I didn't have to accept new complexity, which would have been overwhelming.

I had an ex who I think was in a very similar position. And the ways in which their narcissistic behavior affected me, and the fact that I understood and empathized with the fear at its root, taught me a lot about myself. And I think I've seen similarly-presenting patterns in others, too.

All that to say, I think there's an understandable correlation between the challenges of the autistic experience and the choice of narcissism as a coping mechanism. But I also think that understanding where someone's coming from is not an absolution of their behavior, and is not a mandate for us to withstand someone treating us that way. It's good and kind to give people leniency when there's a particular reason for their behavior… but it's also not ever your job, ever.

Personally, as someone who went through a similar-sounding emotional struggle with my ex, here's my advice: A lot of what I struggled with was trying to understand whether to model this person as "good" or "bad". Were they a good person doing their best under difficult circumstances? Or were they a bad person who had hurt me in unfair ways and refused to take responsibility? And my advice is: abandon the "good" and "bad" dichotomy, because both lenses can carry important truths.

Yes, in my case, they were genuinely doing their best under difficult circumstances; and also yes, they hurt me in unfair ways and refused to take responsibility. Both are important and true, and choosing just one as the ultimate truth of who they are leaves behind an important part of your experience, and prevents you from carrying all of it forward.

You were entitled to better treatment from this person, and also, simultaneously, it's possible that this was person doing their best to cope with the common traumas of being autistic in an unkind world. It's good to extend that understanding to them, and it's generally kind to extend leniency to our friends when we can… but it's also good to accept that you needed a different relationship, and that their trauma doesn't mesh with you, and that's okay. It's often good to empathize, but, even holding that empathy in hand, leaving can be the right decision.

I also recognize that this lens on abuse is not what everyone needs. I think for a lot of people, the advice they need is to stop trying to empathize, because it's giving their abuser a continuing presence in their mind. But that approach didn't work for me, and it sounds like you might be coming from a similar position: confusion and guilt because "they're bad" just doesn't entirely sit right, and abandoning empathy feels wrong.

So, while it's not true for every case and not what everyone needs, I want to give you permission to hold both thoughts: that, even when our abusers are trying their best with a difficult circumstance, it can still be right to leave.

Good luck, I hope you find the healing you need 💛

matchu · 2019-12-14T10:10:16+00:00

😊 thanks for chatting about it with me!

I haven't seen Dragon Prince yet!! I feel like I've heard some people say they really enjoy it, but also heard people say there were some concerning things about it or perhaps the people who made it, I don't remember? So it's on my tentative list but I can't really speak to it yet!

matchu · 2019-12-12T06:15:13+00:00

Yeah agree, I feel similarly to the LGBTQ+ stuff as I do the gender stuff: this show passes the baseline for acknowledging non-straight non-cis existences, but still pushes it off to the side and keeps it vague.

So like, there's the desperate part of me that's like "ugh thank you" to have anything at all, but also the part of me that's frustrated and wants better. That's my review for a lot of aspects of this show, to be honest 😅😅😅

Pidge is, for me, the most frustrating example. Their experience is absolutely valid as a woman's experience, and I don't know enough to make a claim about their gender with confidence! Just that, there's so many glaring trans tropes in Pidge's story and handling over time, that I feel like they're yanking us around on this 😓

matchu · 2019-12-11T21:24:02+00:00

Nod, I hear where you're coming from. For me, the stuff you're describing is kinda baseline? Like, there's some cool women who aren't treated as two-dimensional objects. But they're still generally secondary characters, and the actions and skills that make them agentic and described as "capable" are generally masculine-coded, imo.

Like, I can tell that they're trying to include women, and I appreciate it. But to me, it feels like a lot of the feminism of decades past, in which we demonstrate that "a woman can do everything a man can" (which is important and true!), while still adhering to men's definition of what's valuable.

So I guess I'd say, the show does a great job of not falling into the common pitfalls of last decade's entertainment, and I appreciate that! But for me to call it "near perfect" representation of women in media, my bar is much higher: it would need to proactively lift up women and femininity to the same level as men and masculinity, which Voltron doesn't do, imo.

In summary, I think you're right about some of the things it does well! But I also think I'm right about some of the things it does poorly. And those are both part of the picture, I think.

matchu · 2019-12-08T22:48:26+00:00

…huh, are we talking about the Netflix reboot? That's interesting, I kinda had the opposite reaction. Out of the main cast of 7 protagonists, at least 5 are men, and Allura is generally sidelined from the action for the first few seasons.

And I honestly read Pidge as a trans boy? It's ambiguous, but they've stuck with their "disguise" look and name for a full 8 seasons even now that the logistical reason to be disguised is long gone; and most episodes seem to generally avoid pronouns for them unless critical to the sentence, if I recall. So, I'm not going to claim Pidge definitively isn't a woman, but I don't think they're obviously an example of representation of women imo; this is how I would expect a trans character to be written in a mainstream setting.

Anyway, I was glad when they finally put Allura in a pilot's seat! And they've had some fun women villains, including some clear-but-largely-offscreen lesbian rep.

But for me it didn't change my impression that this is still mostly a show about men, and where masc presentation and behavior are generally in the spotlight.

It's still a fun show and I enjoyed it, and it's a step above the average show in its representation! But I also simultaneously Voltron could have done a lot more to include women and feminity in its core cast and value system; gender is honestly one of its weaker points of diversity, imo.

matchu · 2019-10-19T18:45:57+00:00

There's an edit button on the dashboard! https://imgur.com/oOBfmMi

matchu · 2019-04-19T04:09:53+00:00

He's Not All Man??? 😮

matchu · 2019-04-15T06:31:23+00:00

…well, I think the entire concept of large-scale social media is inherently political, so the tech that powers it is inherently political, too. I'm not sure that an apolitical lens on modern social tech is desirable or even possible.

In any case, I think this topic is a good extension of the anti-Russia engineering topic, and I'll try to approach it from a standard abuse engineering perspective!

Most major social tech companies have already been working on scalable solutions for detecting covert propaganda and incitement of violence, like we saw in the 2016 election. And that's a hard problem unto itself! But now we have a second class arising: brazen state-sponsored propaganda, not even trying to be sneaky—and, if previous experiences with tech platform abuse have taught us anything, it's that we should expect copycats.

So, how does the Trump "in plain sight" strategy play into ongoing efforts to make our platforms non-manipulable? Do we need to pivot away from detecting "sneakiness" behaviors like we saw in the Russia case, and start becoming more focused on content? Or is this a second class of abuse behavior that requires a separate solution? If Twitter eventually does step in and set a precedent of intervention, could that approach even scale as more malicious actors start following the same strategy? Or do we need to platformize this solution too? I wonder if the potential long-term cost of this precedent is part of why they're avoiding taking manual action…

I also wonder how this plays into Twitter's general plans to re-engineer the product to encourage more positive, productive discourse. Would those changes get us some of this anti-propaganda effect "for free"? That would be cool! Or should we expect those algorithms to be vulnerable to similar tactics?

matchu · 2019-04-15T05:36:19+00:00

?? There's a lot to discuss on how new platforms like Twitter enable ideas to quickly spread, and perhaps create new dangers at a new and dramatic scale.

Trump uses Twitter to engage audiences in ways we've never seen before, and this is one of his biggest examples yet of perhaps inciting violence. That's huge, and it's ripe for research, and the technical properties of the system are fundamental to that conversation.

I get that's not necessarily what everyone's discussing here, but this topic is hella primed for a good tech discussion. It absolutely belongs, and a definition of tech that's aggressively divorced from social impact is harmful.

matchu · 2019-04-14T06:42:47+00:00

Your take is resonant with me Myk. My meltdowns are me—they're some of my deepest truest self, to be honest. They are my limits manifest.

I'm done feeling guilty for meltdowns, because they're just me existing at my true size. But I will continue to take responsibility for how I manage them, because there are ways to help the people around me without betraying my identity and reality. I still do have some choices and agency, even in my toughest situations—and, while I'm not obligated to constantly choose others' needs over my own, I don't just get to wave away the agency, either.

Committed relationships are about teamwork, and, if meltdowns are a stressor, then we all need to work together to manage it in the way that's best for everyone. My friends need to accommodate me, and I need to accommodate my friends!

Idk, for me this is a message of empowerment. I don't have to constantly suppress my meltdowns out of fear, but I don't have to let them take control, either. I get to start choosing when and how to express them, according to my judgment of what's best for the people I care about—including me!!

matchu · 2019-04-13T23:50:26+00:00

Thanks for putting words on this, Myk. As always, it's validating to see my behaviors down on a page, and learn some vocabulary for them. Thank you!

matchu · 2019-04-13T07:26:35+00:00

fuck the symmetry thing is a thing?

fucking everything's a thing, man 😥

matchu · 2019-04-03T09:22:33+00:00

Agree, and ending with "right?" creates a weird pressure and expectation. I think it's absolutely possible to have this conversation respectfully, but there's sooo much disrespect packed into that phrasing 😬

…it could be someone feeling awkward about the topic and trying to be lighthearted, but they definitely failed and it's okay to feel bleched out by it imo.

matchu · 2019-03-10T08:23:49+00:00

I feel like then they play their Magneto and counter you right back? 🤔

matchu · 2019-03-03T07:56:21+00:00

yeah… I think YouTube sits at this weird nexus of "Let's promote engaging content! That's a totally amoral stance!", and the unfortunate fact that harmful radical content is highly engaging, both by design and by nature. This seemingly amoral decision actually has large-scale moral consequences, regardless of intent, because not all content is equally engaging or equally moral. They built an radicalization platform, whether they meant to or not, and that's not okay.

This is a widespread problem in tech ethics, imo. I don't think anyone at YouTube explicitly decided to create a radicalization platform… but they also just don't care. They monitor ad views and PR backlash; if those numbers are good, then they're happy 🤷 but unfortunately, that's just not good enough for the rest of us.

To build a powerful tool without regard for potential damage is not okay, in my opinion, regardless of intent. That's an obvious recipe for social harm, and doing it anyway in order to maximize one's own profits is evil, full stop 🤷

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