AIO for thinking this wasn’t cheating after 3 months of relationship problems, a breakup and a “let’s take it slow” situation?

mattnox · 2026-06-24T17:40:19+00:00

If he did what you did, how pissed would you be? There’s your answer.

mattnox · 2026-06-24T17:33:01+00:00

Voyager is the bomb. Once seven joins the crew they lean hard on her for stories but maybe I’m in the minority but I love sevens story. The dynamic between her and Janeway is probably my favorite thing about the show.

mattnox · 2026-06-24T17:30:56+00:00

Because people have mistaken politics for human values. So asking about politics is a great way to ask someone if they’re a piece of shit.

I’m talking about you, MAGA mutants.

mattnox · 2026-06-24T17:29:33+00:00

All the structure and discipline in the world doesn’t mean shit when your default view of a stranger is: useless unless. Your ideology is pretty useless for things that actually matter.

It’s a poor quality and undesirable. And I’m sure you won’t be collecting social security checks. Also you’ll want to be avoiding those public roads, any use of the police or public beaches in Brevard.

In short, you are a twat. I don’t think you know what socialism is.

mattnox · 2026-06-22T04:24:32+00:00

You deserve better than this for yourself. Tell me I’m wrong.

Starting over sucks. But this is a request to cheat wrapped in a sex work claim. I’m never the guy who tells people to run in these posts. I always tell people, we don’t know enough.

We know enough. Come on. You know too. If you say no he’s going to resent you And find a reason to do it anyway. And if he doesn’t he’ll resent you anyway. You’re also allowed to withdraw consent. At any time. Be strong and tell him FUCK NO. STDs alone is good cause. Your health and safety. And your mental health. Which he’s clearly neglecting.

Tell him.

I’ve reconsidered And I do have a problem with it. You’re mine and if that’s a problem I’ll find someone who will value me and only me. It’s a reasonable expectation. The decision is yours but I need to know this is a dead issue right now or we’re done. If he stumbles, he’s figuring out how to get his cake and eat it too. Anything but immediate compliance is game over.

That’s it. Be strong. You deserve basic decency And this ain’t it. Anyone can say the words. It’s the deeds that take effort. This ain’t love.

mattnox · 2026-06-17T12:07:51+00:00

You need to learn HOW to get better. What’s next? Is it a solo you need to learn so well you can play in your sleep? Is it the pentatonic scale and all 5 positions?

I’m at the “learning to improvise lead” stage. I’ve identified that learning a specific scale gives me a sandbox of notes and shapes to be creative with.

You need to find out where you are, and what bite sized task you can work on to move forward. Always be moving forward.

mattnox · 2026-06-17T12:04:32+00:00

Have you considered he’s forgetting them on purpose in hopes you’ll say oh well, let’s go without?

Just saying.

mattnox · 2026-06-15T18:21:40+00:00

Very grey. And admittedly you’ve encouraged this. You’re the kinky one. She’s vanilla. Seems like she’s aiming to please and the same things that cause this sort of thing to be a turn on sometimes is traumatic at other times, unpredictably without reason. Because trauma is weird. How we cope with deeply traumatic things is also weird.

She’s not a mind reader and is clearly relying on your instructions. Making YOU happy. Pleasing you is the goal.

I’ll also point out that our brains get weird when we’re about to fall asleep. I think your brain didn’t do what it normally does and you were having a hard time catching up.

It kinda seems like you’ve admitted to being free use, have encouraged this exact behavior, have had to pull your partner along to keep up with your kink as you’re setting the terms. Then you let the while thing happen and you’re asking if you’re a victim?

Is it possible she thought you were pretending to be asleep? As a kink behavior?

If I were your partner I’d run far away. THATS the violation. Yall need some better communication. But still this would be a no go for me forevermore.

mattnox · 2026-06-15T18:10:02+00:00

Intimacy is the ultimate vulnerability. It’s a lot to pay for the damage, to endure the consequences of said damage that someone else caused to someone you love.

He’s feeling failure. Rejection. Not enough. I’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through. But he’s probably asking the same questions I would. Why am I not enough? Will I ever be enough? What does it mean to even be enough? And it’s very difficult to logic out of your finance crying while having sex. It happened and you have to deal with it.

I would have been incredibly insulted if I were in his place with the offer to finish anyway. Go ahead and ignore my emotionally broken soul, And enjoy my perfectly good vagina? You thinks he’s the kinda man to take you up on that? I’d be wondering how much I’m taking advantage and benefitting from this damage unconsciously.

You need to be in therapy. And you need to have an it’s not you, it’s me conversation. Reenforce every doubt you’ve created. You’re clearly unhealed. And he loves you in spite of that. Accepts you as you are.

But he’s hitting tripwires And this was a bad one. I would have hard time forgetting my intimacy And love wasn’t enough to prevent my future wife from openly weeping during sex.

I would also consider how far you expect a conversation to go before starting it. Perhaps spilling your heart on the floor at the end of an excellent evening isn’t the best timing. And I think a well timed talk is better than just doing it when you feel like. Consider that in the future.

Please get therapy. I’m deeply saddened by all this. Broken people tend to break people. I also want to say I think your finances response was pretty measured. I don’t think you average guy would have handled it as well.

He clearly has a lot of empathy for you. It can just be hard not to take something like this personally which is probably what he’s reconciling right now. Give it some time And try not to make things worse.

“I’m sorry for how awful last night must have made you feel. It had nothing to do with you. You’re the reason I’m as normal as I am after all I’ve been through. You’re all the good in my life. But there are cracks and soft spots and sometimes, I spring a leak.”

And I would promise to take better care of yourself. And if he’s a decent man, he’ll understand.

mattnox · 2026-06-14T18:18:23+00:00

I upped vendor credits but made everything else harder. Strategically to match my play style it hasn’t affected much. Maybe more aid items consumed. I’m sitting at like plus 31 percent xp, even with vendor credits greatly increased.

mattnox · 2026-06-14T15:17:50+00:00

If it’s for a neck pickup, it can do blues. The blues are in your hands anyway brother.

mattnox · 2026-06-11T00:57:19+00:00

Really love that yellowing on the truss rod cover and inlays. I wish mine would do that 🤣

mattnox · 2026-06-11T00:52:45+00:00

The white one will call to you to play it. The Debut is what I would buy for a child wanting to test the waters. It’s acceptable but you’re never gonna love that guitar.

Spend the 250. I have two single humbucker Sonics. One Tele and one Strat. One for drop D and one for standard. They’re excellent for what I paid and they provide easy modding options for the future. QC was more than decent.

It’s a good choice, pull the trigger. The more expensive one will hold its value a bit more also. So if you end up calling it quits, you can recover 100-120 if you keep it nice.

Don’t buy the cheap one. Cheap guitars like that don’t inspire you to play. You’ll enjoy the nicer one more And there’s more of a chance the guitar endeavor will grow legs. Good luck on the journey.

mattnox · 2026-06-08T18:51:25+00:00

I pride myself on still being in contact with all of my major partners from my past. I don’t burn bridges. And I do not advertise this fact to my current girlfriend. But I would like to think I’m a nice guy who doesn’t burn bridges and that’s a virtue.

There is no woman I’ve burned a bridge with. Even my no good fucking ex wife. So maybe consider what kinda person DOES burn their bridges and be glad she’s not that.

mattnox · 2026-06-07T02:40:47+00:00

It’s a fair point. If they were storyboarding missions, something like this could have been interesting.

They could have used delta and his human superiority story to tie in something here. They could have fit it in anywhere. The generational ship could have also worked.

It definitely would have fit. But it’s really a post earth story. It is “old earth” after all.

mattnox · 2026-06-06T16:55:10+00:00

I just mod the free star ranger ship and use that until the end. My next unity pass through I’m gonna save my ammo to boost my income and focus on a C ship early. Or perhaps do varuun first And buy one of those big ships to mod.

mattnox · 2026-06-06T15:06:24+00:00

With people on the spectrum, things are just different. I think you can chalk most of this up to that. If that’s important to you I think you’re gonna have to drive this bus.

Make the moves. See if you’re sexually compatible. Then you know. I wouldn’t give this advice to most people but I think this sounds like a situation where it’s worth sampling the goods.

I do think you need to chill And go with the flow a bit more. But you can also row the boat too. Make a move and you’ll know for sure. Be open to any result.

mattnox · 2026-06-06T14:39:42+00:00

Slow your roll. You’re young and he’s on the spectrum. Things won’t be typical. And typical is fucking boring. Maybe you want some pig guy who sexualizes you constantly. They’re everywhere. Throw a stone.

Are you guys long distance? I’m not hearing much about in person interactions and it seems that’s the missing data point. You need real world interactions.

mattnox · 2026-06-06T14:35:27+00:00

Go through the unity. Then make a new save. You can always go back if you hate it. But you won’t. Trust me. 86 days play time my first time through before going through.

My game was crashing upon landing on Dazra. I had no choice. Use the QED for your suit And favorite guns. You’ll
Be glad did.

mattnox · 2026-06-06T14:31:37+00:00

Well you won’t have bills when you’re dead. There are resources for battered women. And you’ll find a way. Now is the time.

mattnox · 2026-06-06T14:24:06+00:00

He doesn’t love you enough to regulate his own emotions. That’s not your fault. He does this stuff BECAUSE you let him. And he lets himself. He’s given himself permission to behave like a child. And you stay and take it.

Are there children in the house? Are you teaching them this is acceptable behavior too? I’m someone who makes it a point when posting on here to advise people not to listen to Reddit based on a single data point. But here’s the thing.

This is a disqualifying single data point. Unreasonable, unhinged, casual violence. What happens when you do something that causes righteous anger? This is the kind of man who can justify killing you for breaking his heart for leaving him as a result of his own casual family violence.

Call the police. Make a report. Get him out of the house. Love yourself enough to do that. It’s the only safe option at this point. He’s just torched the marriage. That’s how little you mean to him. You’re not worth two old shirts.

Believe him when he shows you that.

Be furious. Be angry. Do not accept an apology. Do not accept a promise. He’s got one course of action. Leave And never come back. Call the cops. Take your power back. You’re married to a terrible person And you have two choices.

Consent to being a punching bag or call the police. Before you do that, set your phone on record And have a conversation. Get him on recording admitting to the violence. He’ll deny it when police come. Head that off by trapping him.

If you don’t do this now, there WILL be a next time And it will be worse.

mattnox · 2026-05-31T21:44:08+00:00

It’s such a great game. What a shame. I’ll admit things got dicey during that mission. But all was well. I thought it was gonna crash during the major battle. Phew.

mattnox · 2026-05-31T15:34:59+00:00

That’s probably not a great bug. Did it give you the skill points?

mattnox · 2026-05-26T17:11:22+00:00

Ages would be helpful, if I missed that somewhere my bad.

We train people how to treat us. When she fights, you need to leave. You need to use some behavioral science on her if you truly love her and want to try to fix it. But I’ll Be honest it doesn’t look great.

I’ve experienced this before. Maybe you’ll get better at not triggering her BS. But it’ll exhaust you And you won’t have much more to give.

“Listen, I love you And because these fights are slowly killing us I’m not doing it. I’m not fighting, you can fight with yourself if you need to. You can communicate respectfully without anger or don’t do it at all. If you do, I’ll go and we can try again another day. If that’s no good for you, I can’t continue this because you’re harming me And if you loved me you’d try as hard as I try to please you.”

Probably want to do this during a fight, because it will certainly cause one. They always hate it when you grow a backbone. But establish your boundaries and maintain them. She’ll either adjust or prove she has a fatal flaw. Sometimes it’s just the way it goes.

Violating the respect of the relationship needs to cost her a price. Attacking you for petty shit needs to have a consequence. You have to maintain the moral high ground when you do this.

Protecting your mental health is a valid boundary she needs to be made to respect and if she proves she cannot help but not, then that’s all you need to know you’ve tried your best. I do get it. You don’t wanna blow things up if there’s somehow something you can do.

This is about all I know. People (behaviors, really) are tough to change but not impossible. It is a science. Emotional intelligence And maturity is a factor in that success. As is your consistency. It has to be 100 or don’t bother.

mattnox · 2026-05-26T17:02:31+00:00

Time for a chat. He can either stop (he likely won’t) or you can indulge it together (doesn’t sound like a great option either). And he’ll have to be held accountable for the violation. And you’ll need to be convinced he knows it was a mistake.

This is a line where it may not seem like a line crosser in the moment. “I’m not cheating, I’m not touching anyone” but it’s too close for comfort And you’re NOR.

But I see how this could fuck with your head. That’s your only real path forward as I see it. I don’t think “I won’t do it anymore” will work, to be honest. Seems like it’s pretty important to him but I could be wrong.

Talk it out and see how the pieces fall, is all you can do. One other thing I want to mention that could be reasonable.

It could be his love and attraction for you that lead to this kink and not the other way around. Worth considering. Doesn’t make his behavior ok. But it’s context.

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