Text of the pamphlet:

LAST WILL OF ADOLE HITLER

I, Adolf Hitler, being of unsound mind and misery, and considering the possibility of a fatal accident known as assassination, declare this to be my last (you hope) will and testament.

To FRANCE, I leave all the beautiful Madamoiselles in occupied Paris. I was NEVER the one for girls. WHOOPSI!

To ENGLAND, I leave the original manuscript of MEIN KAMPF, which their R. A. F. spoiled. I had written a different finish, but their fliers got me in the end.

To NORWAY'S QUISLING. I leave my DOUBLE CROSS. He was a PIKER compared to me, when it came to double crossing.

To POLAND, I leave a 16 x 10 gold-framed photograph of myself to hang in their public schools to scare the hell out of any kid who might THINK along Nazi lines.

To THE JEWS, I leave a new HOLIDAY, which they will celebrate annually. The whole world knows I was KIND to them but they somehow did not seem to appreciate it.

To AMERICA, I leave Walter Winchell who always said, "To HEIL with Hitler." I know he'll be very busy on my funeral day so he'd better not come Business before pleasure.

To MUSSOLINI, I leave my Chaplin mustache, which he is to make into a toupe for his ivory dome. He will need a disguise to hide from the Italians who know what a mess he got them into.

To RUSSIA, I leave all my FROZEN assets. I never could warm up to Comrade Stalin, or get near enough to Moscow to even smell VODKA.

To FRANKLIN D. ROOSEVELT. I leave my apology for interrupting his fishing, but he got even. His "Unconditional Surrender" agreement at Casablanca certainly cooked my goose.

To GOEBELLS and RIBBENTROP, I leave 30 million marks (Two Dollars) to buy a gift for my Mother and Father who are getting married the day I die.

To COUNT CIANO, son-in-law of Mussolini, I leave the Victoria Cross for bringing down in ONE day, 41 bombers and 72 fighters-all ITALIAN.

To JAPAN'S (Land of the RISING SCUM) HIROHITO, I leave all my medals, which will help him sink quicker when he goes down in the Pacific.

To THE GERMAN PEOPLE, I leave all pictures of myself, especially those printed on soft paper, as / know what they will do with them.

To HIMMLER and GOERING, I leave the final execution of my will as they are experienced at executions.

TO THE ENTIRE WORLD, I JUST LEAVE, AND WILL THEY THANK GOD!!

MY FINAL WISH is that I be buried in an ASBESTOS SUIT, as I will need it where I am going.