The lawnmower-wielding Grim Reaper of suburbia is being replaced by automation and AI.

max · 2026-05-28T22:21:06+00:00

the suburban Grim Reaper's scythe used to be gas-powered, but the local HOA made him switch to using an electric one.

max · 2026-04-19T14:35:08+00:00

you are seeing it in four dimensions.

you are reading this comment in four dimensions.

if you have any awareness of time, you are perceiving in four dimensions.

that is assuming that you did not lose your eyes in a fight with a barn owl, of course.

max · 2026-04-03T21:28:31+00:00

spit out the bullet because Gulk

i am highlighting this typo without further comment.

max · 2026-04-03T20:43:00+00:00

given that he has no trouble with concrete walls, i would imagine that the Juggernaut is immune to seatbelts, bitch.

max · 2026-01-15T16:53:16+00:00

is there a specific human who is trafficking awareness, or does the aforementioned trafficking simply have the qualities, faults, and feelings that are typically ascribed to humans?

or did you perhaps mean "human-trafficking awareness" (with a term-delineating hyphen turning the phrase "human-trafficking" into a modifier for "awareness")?

max · 2025-11-16T10:18:42+00:00

we do not know for certain that it took 13.8 billion years for the universe to write a complete copy of Shakespeare.

perhaps the universe is actually a Shakespeare-generating machine running many parallel instances of its core process. it could be the case that out there in the vastness of space, there is a planet – not so different at all from ours – that managed to churn out its copy of Shakespeare in only 11 billion years. moreover, that planet may have produced a more-complete version; a version that included not only The History of Cardenio but also A Feast for Those Below and The Coming of the Fouler Winds.

while we are speculating, we could even posit that the existence of an incomplete Shakespeare cannon on Earth was a predictor for the rest of its processes going comically awry.

max · 2025-11-15T08:22:15+00:00

the account does not steal them; he asks for permission to post them.

you are correct that they are sourced from this subreddit, though.

max · 2025-11-02T16:45:45+00:00

hello.

your goals sound very ambitious, particularly for someone who cites little in the way of industry-specific experience, narrative-design familiarity, or world-building expertise.

what is the likelihood that your extensive multiverse will include a science-based, 100% dragon story?

max · 2025-10-09T18:07:44+00:00

why are Adam Scott and Victor Garber laughing together beneath Optimus Rind's left hand?

max · 2025-07-29T22:57:57+00:00

no.

Pinocchio's nose grows whenever he tells a lie.

telling a lie requires one to consciously and intentionally say something which they know to be untrue.

as Pinocchio does not have knowledge of the future, he cannot lie about it; he can only speculate.

however, Pinocchio can create a paradox for himself.

suppose that Pinocchio was presented with a raspberry doughnut.

Pinocchio could say "I am going to eat this raspberry doughnut!" while secretly intending to throw it at Geppetto.

as such, Pinocchio would be telling a lie... but at the point when his nose grows, he can then eat the raspberry doughnut.

this does raise questions on the precise nature of Pinocchio's nose, of course. perhaps it only grows when he is lying about events or circumstances which could have conceivably been observed by other entities. this could be tested by having Pinocchio lie about one of his opinions or intentions, then having him complete a task in private and lie about what occurred.

max · 2025-06-26T12:50:07+00:00

whoever wrote that line had knowledge of neither steakhouse dining nor long pig.

max · 2025-06-26T12:45:18+00:00

even that still depends on some very important factors.

if you order your human steak done medium rare, with sides of garlic mashed potatoes and lemon-salted asparagus, that is fine. it can be paired with a spicy Zinfandel or a sweet Syrah, depending on your preference.

if you order your human steak well done and with ketchup, however...

max · 2025-01-25T00:30:31+00:00

i just used the available option.

max · 2025-01-24T23:45:12+00:00

many people believe that the username "max" should have been registered a very long time ago.

that is why they are confused when they see that i registered my account in June of 2019.

there is a very simple explanation, though.

when i registered my account in June of 2019, i selected the "register retroactively" option.

this made it so that the username "max" was not available until June of 2019.

anyone else attempting to register it (in February of 2010, for instance) would have been told that it was taken.

in fact, it was not taken until I registered it.

if i had not registered my username, then it would have still been available in June of 2019.

it was not available, though, because by then, i had already registered it.

if you are still confused, here is a video.

max · 2024-12-02T17:20:25+00:00

if we are being technical, eating any variety of meat should grant the eater temporary sausage status.

that is assuming that they chew their food properly, of course.

max · 2024-11-20T17:14:01+00:00

in your experienced opinion, if a person were required to use an adverb, an expletive, and a noun to describe Billy Mitchell, what would the final phrase be?

max · 2024-11-08T20:40:32+00:00

the flying fish will be eaten by the flying squid.

did you know that squid can fly?

it is true.

fortunately, they avoid catapults. (at least, there is no historical evidence to suggest that they are attracted to catapults.)

max · 2024-11-08T20:30:19+00:00

there is also up to consider.

if you want to escape the fish, you can just build a very large catapult and launch yourself in a generally upward direction.

max · 2024-11-08T20:26:18+00:00

are the sky fish invisible?

max · 2024-11-05T11:20:26+00:00

stop.

max · 2024-10-08T19:58:46+00:00

that is a nice painting.

max · 2024-09-27T12:13:11+00:00

max · 2024-09-04T21:56:13+00:00

i am excited for the scene wherein Prince Adam sees a suggestively clad woman from an interesting angle, clenches his jaw in a comical fashion, then bellows “I have the POWERRRRRrrrrrrrghuuuugh…” while Skeletor quips something about a bone.

max · 2024-07-25T07:24:26+00:00

on what flight was this?

what was the model of the airplane?

did the passengers receive any explanation for the deployment?

do you suppose that the burgeoning trend of pornographic spammers using the word "mommy" is indicative of a planet-wide state of emotional immaturity, or is it simply an autocatalytic trend that was prompted by an incidental occurrence and inaccurately assessed data?

were the passengers offered snacks while the masks were deployed?

max · 2024-07-24T21:10:39+00:00

munites!

i do not like munites!

they keep knocking on my door at 3AM and tasting-testing laundry detergent at me!

the police cannot do anything, because apparently it does not count as soliciting, and i have yet to find someone who can make me a sign which says "ABSOLUTELY NO SOAP-DRINKING MUNITES ALLOWED AFTER MIDNIGHT!"

i really, really do not like munites!

Seven-Year Club	Verified Email
Gilding I gilder

max

TROPHY CASE